Dad Needs Advice With Daughter’s Wedding & Honeymoon

[Oldbear]

ScubaBoard Ladies,

I am planning ahead for what I think might be coming in 2013…my daughter’s wedding and honeymoon. I am pretty sure that this is the real deal as she started watching NFL Football and NBA Basketball with him and he took up scuba diving and snowboarding for her.:kiss2: She is my world I really want this event to be as special as possible. As that her mother abandoned us when she was 8 weeks, all of my design ideas are from a guy’s perspective and I truly want my gift to be about her. So I am looking for a Lady’s perspective.

So here are my questions:

1. Should I concentrate more on?
   1. The Wedding
   2. The Reception
   3. The Honeymoon
   4. Two of the three
   5. About equally for all three
   6. Any suggestions reguarding the weeding, reception and/or honeymoon

1. Right now I am looking at different honeymoon options & destinations, any comments or suggestions?
   1. Resort
   2. Cruise
   3. Liveaboard
   4. South Pacific
   5. Caribbean
   6. Hawaii

When the event actually does happen, I will get her input as to what her desires are, but I still want to be prepared. One of the trips that she and I were planning was to Sipidan and Borneo, perhaps this might be a nice trip for them; I thought maybe a Liveaboard and a resort in Singapore. I also thought about Maui, great hotels, great diving and plenty to see around the island when out of the water. Right now I am looking for ideas, other's past experiences, recommendations...even what someone's dream weeding and honeymoon would/should be.

Any assistance, suggestions, recommendations, ideas, comments or help SB could provide I would greatly appreciate.


Thanks and happy bubbles,


~Michael~
:fish::fish::fish:


:goldfish::goldfish::goldfish:

 

[TSandM]

Well, just looking back on my own wedding . . . The dress was important. The ceremony is brief, but the reception is the chance to throw one heck of a great party and be the center of attention. I enjoyed my reception and still remember it. But the expense is not what's important; what's important are the people. I recently attended a wedding of one of our former SB folks, kidspot, where the whole reception was put on by family and friends, and it was one of the most heartwarming and beautiful weddings I've been to.

For the honeymoon, I'd suggest someplace where it's fun to do nothing, but possible to do more. At least at first, they'll probably be pretty focused on one another, and just being romantic in a beautiful place will be enough. After a couple of days, they may want to get out and do some touring.

I know friends who have honeymooned in Bali who loved it. I personally love the Riviera Maya, where the beaches are absolutely stunning and the weather is almost always perfect. There's snorkeling in the ocean and the cenotes, and Mayan ruins, and tourist shopping to be had, and nothing is terribly expensive. We toured the Dreams Puerto Aventuras on our last trip down there, and were very impressed with the facility -- and they do weddings!

 

[Damselfish]

Why ever wouldn't you ask her first? Maybe she'd want to plan 1, 2, or all 3 of those things herself. Or maybe she'd relish any or all being taken off her hands, but likely would still have pretty strong opinions on all of them.

---------- Post added December 11th, 2012 at 10:32 PM ----------

also meant to mention, could be the possible-groom-to-be has thoughts on the matter, particularly honeymoon plans.

 

[Oldbear]

Why ever wouldn't you ask her first? Maybe she'd want to plan 1, 2, or all 3 of those things herself. Or maybe she'd relish any or all being taken off her hands, but likely would still have pretty strong opinions on all of them.

---------- Post added December 11th, 2012 at 10:32 PM ----------

also meant to mention, could be the possible-groom-to-be has thoughts on the matter, particularly honeymoon plans.

Damselfish,

I understand your comments totally and if my OP sounded like I am an overbearing parent trying to live my life vicariously through my daughter, I apologize that is not my intentions...just seeking suggestions. I assure you my "very opinionated daughter" and her BF will have the wedding, reception and honeymoon of their choosing. This will be about them, not me.

Without getting into my family dynamics, let’s just say I really want to do something special for the two of them. They are starting out life on a shoestring budget and some of the places I can send them they will not be able to afford for many years. What I am seeking is advice on where to look from a Lady’s perspective. While I might choose Truk Lagoon or Scapa Flow Scotland for the historical wrecks, these probably aren’t the most romantic spots. So if and when the event occurs, I just want to be able to make suggestions based on more than my personal preferences, which tend to lean towards historical sites.


As of last night, they wanted to get married in the mountains of Colorado. Not much has been mentioned about the reception yet, but based on TSandM's comment, throwing "one heck of a party" sounds like my daughter. So right now I am looking at different destination options for a honeymoon.

Where would you go?

 

[Pottermom]

As the mom of three grown and married daughters and a married son my advice is....
Don't go crazy spending money on the wedding and reception. You can do a lot with a reasonable amount of money. No need to spend the moon. Sure they will want some nice stuff and all but the reality is they will remember the people more than the decorations and fluff. The dress IS important and she may well want you to be part of getting that. If you are as close as you say then I imagine she's going to want you there. Still in ALL things set a budget after talking to her and stick to it. Don't try on a single dress that goes over your agreed budget or you will be in trouble.

THEN

Take all the money you have saved in not having the blowout wedding of the century and give it to the couple to use on a downpayment for a house. That's what we did for all four of our kids. We actually didn't just hand it to them but we told them that when they were serious about buying their first house we had $$$$ amount of money for them to use for a downpayment.

The most we spent on any of the weddings was $5000 and the least was $1200 and believe me they had nice weddings. Do they all talk about their weddings now 9 and 10 years later? (we had three get married in one year!) Nope. But do they enjoy having their own home with reasonable mortgages.

So. If you have the ability. Be reasonable on the wedding and give them a gift that will last.

edit* Oh and all our kids planned their own honeymoons and paid for them themselves.

 

[BabyDuck]

there's a book i used called 'bridal bargains' that has some really good shortcuts that don't look like shortcuts. everybody's different, but i had my first dress made of muslin in a fancy pattern (about $300) and for the second bought a bridesmaid dress in cream (about $150) then put silk embroidery on it myself. no need to spend lots for big impact. (the third is likely to be in my drysuit, but that's another story...)

for the honeymoon, perhaps think some islands like st croix or puerto rico (us territories, so easy to get in & out of), or i agree the riviera maya would be lovely, or perhaps a cruise. i wouldn't do a liveaboard for a honeymoon - that's a bit too up close & personal with your new best strangers to me.

 

[Damselfish]

I like the downpayment idea. At this stage in my life the idea someone sending me on a trip to a beautiful resort in say Bali, a high end liveaboard, or the like, is certainly appealing. But if I put my "just starting out" shoes back on, the idea of doing the wedding and honeymoon nice but not insane, and getting money towards a down payment, would be much more appealing to me. Plus I don't know I would have appreciated a really high end trip as much then as I do now. (I do know a really high end trip could spoil someone for later inexpensive trips ...)

 

[Pottermom]

My wedding cost $75 way back when (34 years ago). We got married young and when it came to honeymoon we counted our cash wedding gifts.... Had $125 and said.... Whoo hoo! Three days at Carlsbad Caverns, NM ( close to where we went to college) and we splurged and stayed at the Holiday Inn! Lol i look back on it all with fond memories but honestly the wedding was nothing, the life and marriage following has been what it's about.

 

[islanddream]

What a wonderful dad you are! I think it's great that you are thinking ahead about your daughter getting married and wanting to do something special for her and her intended. I've put on a number of weddings and there are certainly ways to stay within a budget and make the day very memorable. However, your question about what is most important to concentrate on depends on what's most important to the couple. I agree with others who've expressed an opinion....the reception can be so much fun, not only for the couple, but also for the attendees. This is where a lot of money can get spent---depending on what you provide (meal, live music, decorations, hall rental, big cake, etc.)---and where having a realistic budget is so important.

Many brides get all wrapped up with having a gorgeous wedding gown and spend thousands of dollars on one. I've heard a number of brides regret the amount spent and wish they would've spent less and used what they didn't spend for a down payment on a house. Hide sight is 20-20. Again, having a realistic budget for the dress is paramount.

A honeymoon is such a personal decision. My husband and I honeymooned at Snowbird in Utah because we wanted to ski. It was a great honeymoon! It sounds like your daughter and her intended enjoy snow as well as the beach. If they get married in the mountains of Colorado, a snowboarding honeymoon would be perfect. You certainly could offer to pay for accommodations of their choice and lift passes; however, I'd let them decide where they want to go. (My favorite place to ski in Colorado is Telluride. Plus, the town is fun!)

I hope your daughter knows how fortunate she is to have a dad like you!

 

[UforSCUBA?]

My dream honeymoon would be in Tahiti in one of those over-the-water huts.