Hi Matt,
A number of years ago, while diving in, Curacao I was the primary in a rescue of an out of air situation involving another diver. Fortunately, the outcome was successful.
A diver in 80 feet of water just kind of "chose me" as his next air supply. I will never forget the look on his face or how big his eyes were... Never! First he grabbed my spare second stage but he spit it out because he didn't have enough breath to clear that regulator.
Somehow, I just knew what was going to happen next. I took a really deep breath, covered my main regulator with both hands but despite trying to control my primary regulator, the distressed diver literally ripped it out of my mouth and out of my hands. I switched over to my spare, grabbed his BC and began to ascend.
I never thought that I would ever need my rescue training in a lifetime!
The divemaster met us at about 30 feet and we all did a successful safety stop.
On board, at my urging, the crew reluctantly broke out their O2... It didn't have a mask... only a nasal cannula. I had the diver cup his hands around the cannula to help prevent air dilution. His skin color was ashen/grey. He didn't look very good.
The dive boat staff had to be harassed into calling an ambulance by the other divers on the boat. That diver suffered salt water aspiration and had to stay in the ICU unit at the hospital. They literally pushed on his chest to squeeze out the water on his arrival to the unit.
I thought about that incident for months... perhaps years. I thought about the success of the rescue and what might have happened. I thought that I actually had saved a human life (not as bragging but more like I was directly associated with a miracle). In fact, I rarely talk about the incident... I find it embarrassing being considered a "hero". It was something that just happened and there was no one else present that was in the position to do it... it was simply up to fate and myself. Both of use could have easily drowned.
I could easily imagine that I could have brought up a corpse. I could see myself in the victim's position and it scared the **** our of me. To this day, I will occasionally think of that particular incident... especially on deeper, murkier dives. For the first couple of years after the incident, I would occasionally abort a dive due to anxiety caused by that incident. (this hasn't happened for years now)
It turned out that I was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Much like what soldiers get only much milder. This incident is still capable of generating some anxiety to this day under the right conditions. The anxiety never got to the point that it controlled my life but I could see how it could happen. It is certainly much better now.
Had I not forced myself to continue diving within weeks of that incident, I might not have ever returned to diving again. It's like getting back on the bicycle after a fall.
I did discuss this with my physician and was told the reaction was "normal" and that the memory would fade with time... which it has. Had it continued to be a problem then additional treatment would have become necessary.
James above makes some very good points. I assume that he is a fireman or EMT. Bad stuff happens every day like this to them and he is fortunate to have access to a system that helps defuse the emotional toll that occurs.
This is not a condition that taking a little pill will resolve. Some sort of talk therapy may be necessary if you find yourself constantly thinking about the incident or if it begins to control your actions or your life.
If your physician can do nothing for you himself perhaps he can make the proper referral to a stress/grief counselor, psychologist or even a psychiatrist. There is no shame in seeking this kind of help if is needed.
Your local community may have a "help line" that you can contact for an appropriate referral.
This will get better... it did for me. Now, I don't want to talk about this anymore.
Regards,
Laurence Stein, DDS
