A few weeks ago I posted a whole blog thing about how to think about getting trim and buoyancy ultra dialed in so that one can hold perfectly still in the water.
I posted this... you know... around. Every once in a while (read: when my wife reminds me to do so) I post something I've written to a couple of facebook groups or to a messageboard or two. Which I did with that article.
There was one bit of "feedback" that has genuinely been bothering me.
"If you cannot hold still, you will swim in circles. Pretty simple, stop swimming around in a circle. Do not need to read a "blog" to see why you cannot stop swimming in circles. Stop finning and you will stop spinning in circles."
I was tempted to point out that I will occasionally play a "game" with students.
I shoot an upline from 15-20 feet and place two markers on the upline three feet apart. The goal is to hover by the shallower one, horizontal and motionless as possible for one minute with everyone's pinky finger touching the cookie. Anyone who's finger comes away from the cookie for the minute accumulates a point against.
After the minute we descend, together, in formation, staying horizontal, to the lower cookie. Again, float a minute with pinkie fingers touching the cookie.
After the minute has passed we decide on someone to pick up the cookie and ascend, as a group, in formation, horizontally, leapfrogging up over the upper cookie by three feet. The marker is replaced on the line. Another minute of floating motionless.
Anyone on the team ascends or descends faster than anyone else by more than a foot... that's another point against. The team is completely broken up (someone sinks to the bottom, bobs to the surface, has to hold on to something for stability, has to swim around a bit to reposition, etc) that's an automatic disqualification.
Down to the lower cookie for a minute.
Leapfrog that cookie up. Another minute.
The entire excercise is, basically, a controlled, stationary, horizontal ascent from 15 feet that takes almost 15 minutes.
15 minutes. Of barely moving a muscle. And trying to maintain absolute position in the water.
It's hard. I'm pretty good at this stupid game, but it's still hard. Demanding on quite a number of physical and psychological levels. Takes teamwork, communication, and absolute control.
Best scores tend to be in the range of 10-12 points accumulated.
I thought about offering an entire Intro to Cave course gratis if the poster could actually make it through this game with a score lower than 30.
Every once in a while I post the things that I write to various fora. And get told that I'm stupid idiot with stupid ideas by people with 100 dives and 30,000 posts. Like the time I foolishly got into a debate about general deco theory with someone. Or the time I suggested that backing off 3rds was a good idea in many circumstances. Or when I suggested that even in open water the classic, horizontal "tech diver" pose is preferable for a variety of reasons.
Why bother trying to present information to people who obviously know so much more than I do? Which is why I tend to only post things "around" when Nelly "reminds me."
So, instead, I settled on throwing up my hands on the seemingly broad disconnect between what - and apologies for speaking in such broad strokes - the recreational world and the technical world tend to think of as "holding still."
Which is sad for those of us who start in the recreational world (as every single diver does) and decide to move over to the tech world... who wind up getting a very rude awakening about just how "still" we've been holding all this time.
*** Fun bonus tip ***
To ascend perfectly horizontally while maintaining neutral buoyancy the whole time:
Start, obviously, properly weighted for horizontal trim and neutrally buoyant.
Tilt ever so slightly head down without breaking a straight line from your shoulders to the knees, so you feet are just slightly pointed toward the surface behind you. Again, a gentle angle.
Give a tiny, half-back-kick, it will pull you slightly back and slightly up.
Level out and give a tiny, modified frog to shuffle you forward.
You have now moved about 6 inches upwards, with that short rock back-up and then forward your only movement has been up.
Reassess buoyancy and repeat.
If you're familiar with a trackstand on a bicycle... same thing, but moving upwards instead of waiting at a traffic light to cause an accident.
Tune in next week (or whatever time I think of it again) for pointers on how to swim sideways.
I posted this... you know... around. Every once in a while (read: when my wife reminds me to do so) I post something I've written to a couple of facebook groups or to a messageboard or two. Which I did with that article.
There was one bit of "feedback" that has genuinely been bothering me.
"If you cannot hold still, you will swim in circles. Pretty simple, stop swimming around in a circle. Do not need to read a "blog" to see why you cannot stop swimming in circles. Stop finning and you will stop spinning in circles."
I was tempted to point out that I will occasionally play a "game" with students.
I shoot an upline from 15-20 feet and place two markers on the upline three feet apart. The goal is to hover by the shallower one, horizontal and motionless as possible for one minute with everyone's pinky finger touching the cookie. Anyone who's finger comes away from the cookie for the minute accumulates a point against.
After the minute we descend, together, in formation, staying horizontal, to the lower cookie. Again, float a minute with pinkie fingers touching the cookie.
After the minute has passed we decide on someone to pick up the cookie and ascend, as a group, in formation, horizontally, leapfrogging up over the upper cookie by three feet. The marker is replaced on the line. Another minute of floating motionless.
Anyone on the team ascends or descends faster than anyone else by more than a foot... that's another point against. The team is completely broken up (someone sinks to the bottom, bobs to the surface, has to hold on to something for stability, has to swim around a bit to reposition, etc) that's an automatic disqualification.
Down to the lower cookie for a minute.
Leapfrog that cookie up. Another minute.
The entire excercise is, basically, a controlled, stationary, horizontal ascent from 15 feet that takes almost 15 minutes.
15 minutes. Of barely moving a muscle. And trying to maintain absolute position in the water.
It's hard. I'm pretty good at this stupid game, but it's still hard. Demanding on quite a number of physical and psychological levels. Takes teamwork, communication, and absolute control.
Best scores tend to be in the range of 10-12 points accumulated.
I thought about offering an entire Intro to Cave course gratis if the poster could actually make it through this game with a score lower than 30.
Every once in a while I post the things that I write to various fora. And get told that I'm stupid idiot with stupid ideas by people with 100 dives and 30,000 posts. Like the time I foolishly got into a debate about general deco theory with someone. Or the time I suggested that backing off 3rds was a good idea in many circumstances. Or when I suggested that even in open water the classic, horizontal "tech diver" pose is preferable for a variety of reasons.
Why bother trying to present information to people who obviously know so much more than I do? Which is why I tend to only post things "around" when Nelly "reminds me."
So, instead, I settled on throwing up my hands on the seemingly broad disconnect between what - and apologies for speaking in such broad strokes - the recreational world and the technical world tend to think of as "holding still."
Which is sad for those of us who start in the recreational world (as every single diver does) and decide to move over to the tech world... who wind up getting a very rude awakening about just how "still" we've been holding all this time.
*** Fun bonus tip ***
To ascend perfectly horizontally while maintaining neutral buoyancy the whole time:
Start, obviously, properly weighted for horizontal trim and neutrally buoyant.
Tilt ever so slightly head down without breaking a straight line from your shoulders to the knees, so you feet are just slightly pointed toward the surface behind you. Again, a gentle angle.
Give a tiny, half-back-kick, it will pull you slightly back and slightly up.
Level out and give a tiny, modified frog to shuffle you forward.
You have now moved about 6 inches upwards, with that short rock back-up and then forward your only movement has been up.
Reassess buoyancy and repeat.
If you're familiar with a trackstand on a bicycle... same thing, but moving upwards instead of waiting at a traffic light to cause an accident.
Tune in next week (or whatever time I think of it again) for pointers on how to swim sideways.
Pompous Wankers unite! 
