Buddy Issues, complaints and close calls??
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Gil57usa
Contributor
I have been fortunate to hook up with a number of excellent Divers who constantly practice situational awareness and skills during every dive. On the other hand, I have also had the dubious pleasure of diving with those that lack awareness and skills. I have to honestly admit that I prefer the former. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind helping others learn to be better divers by teaching them what I know, but it also gets to be a pain in the a.. being a baby sitter on every dive.
I took my OW and AOW and Nitrox with a very close friend. Over a period of time I had to constantly tell him to pay attention, he has a habit of being distracted and wandering off, seems to always deviate from the plan. He also doesn't seem to take well to positive criticism, ie. secure your gear and streamline. His octo is always flying in the breeze or dragging in the mud. (I'm glad I always have my own backup gas). I finally got to the point that I don't dive with him much any more.
I took my OW and AOW and Nitrox with a very close friend. Over a period of time I had to constantly tell him to pay attention, he has a habit of being distracted and wandering off, seems to always deviate from the plan. He also doesn't seem to take well to positive criticism, ie. secure your gear and streamline. His octo is always flying in the breeze or dragging in the mud. (I'm glad I always have my own backup gas). I finally got to the point that I don't dive with him much any more.
Charlie99
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Hilarious. Another good example of where with insta-buddies it good to pay attention to bad vibes you get on the boat or beach before the dive.OahuDiver:
For the typical mild recreational dive, I'd much prefer to dive with a well intentioned newbie that has a good attitude and some common sense, rather than diving with the very experienced "ex-Seal" wearing the T-shirt from Palau and telling everyone on the boat about how marvelous and experienced a diver he is.
Perhaps one reason I've had so few bad insta-buddy experiences is that 1) I proactively look around the boat searching for a likely candidate, and 2) am quick to change buddies before the dive if I start getting bad vibes about my first choice.
Usually I wear my diving T-shirt from somewhere on the last day of diving.
That when I make sure that I'm well behaved along the dives.
I've been lucky to have my regular buddy and regular group, so I can't share my experiences regarding bad buddy. But bad member of the group, yeah, I have a lot of stories, but I've poured them all in some other thread, and eventually he had become a much better diver now.
Again to share, I really agree that we should reflect back to our own way of diving instead of pointing other's mistakes.
But what not, it could be fun too..
That when I make sure that I'm well behaved along the dives.
I've been lucky to have my regular buddy and regular group, so I can't share my experiences regarding bad buddy. But bad member of the group, yeah, I have a lot of stories, but I've poured them all in some other thread, and eventually he had become a much better diver now.
Again to share, I really agree that we should reflect back to our own way of diving instead of pointing other's mistakes.
But what not, it could be fun too..
Scott Riemer
Contributor
I've had the pleasure of doing most of my diving with a friend. We got certified together, we go on dive trips together. The one time I dove without him in Puerto Vallarta, I got buddied up with the DM. He went diving in Cabo without me and ruptured his ear.
OP
slackercruster
Contributor
Rick Inman:When these "bad buddy" threads come up, it's a good time to review our own buddy skills and see how we can improve (of course, it's easier to just talk about how bad the other guy was).
Some good questions to ask ourselves are:
Am I aware at all times of where my buddy is? How much effort will it take for my buddy to get my attention if he/she needs me?
Is my buddy aware of where I am? A good light can be a help here, where the beam can be easily seen by all team members.
Am I correctly positioned in the water? One of the things I used to be guilty of as a new diver was hanging above and behind my buddy. That's about the worst place you can be.
I'm I communicating well? That means returning Ok's with Ok's, not head nods. A thumb means returning a thumb, not just an OK. There is nothing more frustrating that giving a buddy a signal, and then just getting an empty stare back. Take the time to communicate well.
Am I following the plan? There is a reason you plan the dive. Don't break the plan without communication and agreement. If we have a turn pressure, don't fail to communicate the turn when you hit the pressure - even it you sucked down the gas twice as fast as you thought you would. This isn't a contest. Be honest.
Am I diving beyond me comfort/skill level - or encouraging my buddy to do the same? A good buddy leaves their ego at the truck. Anyone can call any dive at any time for any reason. If a buddy ever gives me crap for calling a dive, that will be our last dive together. I need to make sure I am making my buddy feel comfortable enough to call a dive, or adjusting the plan, at any time. No pressure.
Am I letting my buddy know of any issues? If I'm feeling stressed, or uncomfortable, or having an equipment issue, I need to let my buddy know.
Can my buddy count on me for help? Am I lighting up there hands when they need the light? Am I watching them when they are dealing with a piece of gear in case they need something? Am I situationally aware of my buddy's dive as well as my own?
A good buddy will honestly de-brief the dive. Where did we do well, and where can we improve?
And finally, a good buddy will buy the lunch.
I'm sure there are more. But, whenever we start to tell stories on the bad buddies we've had (and we've all had them), it's a good time to review our own buddy skills, and therefore not become the bad buddy ScubaBoard story ourselves!
Good advice, thanks for the reminders!
OP
slackercruster
Contributor
Gil57usa:
Yes, we all have different skill levels and abilities. And I know what you mean about baby sitting.
If anyone asks me to dive buddy with them I warn them upfront, I am not much of a buddy, as I am a solo diver and used to being alone.
While I make a good buddy when you have my attention, I make a bad buddy when my attention wanders.
Some people are ADD like myself. And my attention wanders very easily.
In addition, many time people get into the zone when diving...the Zen Zone and just get oblivious to much of what is going on around them.
I like to use tank knockers on each buddies tank to get one's attention.
The same way Buddhist use mindfulness bells to draw them back to the present moment, the tank knockers are used to bring 'buddy awareness' back.
If buds get too far off course, then give a knock.
That way two can look our for the team instead of just one having to do it.
One problem with me is I do photography, so am concentrated on that and this helps me loose track of the bud.
If I was diving a tough tech or dangerous dive I would not want someone with a low attention span like myself.
Another issue is I am a solo diver, so am used to being alone under water. Diving with a bud is a novelty for me.
Nothing to get mad about with such ADD people. (although having close scrapes due to bad buddy attention sure can get one upset)
But if we look at the person we are mad at...it is their true nature.
So how can you take an ADD and turn them into a high concentration person when it is not their nature?
Just something to be aware of. And if you do not like their true nature, then do not dive with them 'if' you know in advance.
I think the problem comes about when we 'dive blind' and do not know our buddies tendencies. We have expectations of what we want and when we do not get our expectations met we get pissed.
Expectations are pre-planned resentments. Sure the dive agencies lay out what a 'good buddy' is - but what is logical is not always practical when it comes to humans.
Even with a buddy I carry my redundant pony bottle and triplicate cutting gear. I dive the same way I do while diving solo. I use the buddy as a 'back up' to my solo configuration, but do not depend on the buddy as a first resort but more of a last one.
Well, there is a lot of room in the ocean, but this is where pre-dive communication comes in, and honesty. If you told me you were that kind of diver ahead of time, that would give me the option of looking for someone else to buddy with, who would come closer to meeting MY expectations of a dive buddy. That way, we'd both finish the dive happy.
Only one bad buddy in 30 years. This guy claimed to be a Dive Master when that was a new thing. The backpack for the tank used to have a handle on top. This guy got behind me, pulled that handle, and my head to got bonked on a wreck. I had a brief black out. I finished the dive and this guy had a little blow-up at me on the boat. If there was a reason, it was trivial.
I held my temper pretty good for a 25 year old. I simply told him to "get bent".
I held my temper pretty good for a 25 year old. I simply told him to "get bent".
plot
Contributor
Fish_Whisperer:
Hehe... I'm stealing that idea.
