Buddy Issues, complaints and close calls??

[Charlie99]

After dives with around 100 insta-buddies, only a couple stand out as being particularly bad.

For the first couple of years, I had quite a few cases where things didn't go as smoothly as I would like. Rather than blaming the insta-buddies, I tried to look at things in a calm, detached manner and figure out what I could have done to make things more likely to work out in the way I'd like. Gradually I developed a lot better skill at 1) identifying which persons I wanted to dive with, 2) making my expectations clear, and 3) nipping trouble in the bud.

Nowdays I have no qualms at all about showing up on a boat by myself and finding a suitable buddy. As silly as it may sound, my basic underlying rule about insta-buddy dives is "NO SURPRISES!" Sometimes I explicitly use the phrase, but more often just convey the message by the way I discuss various things before the dive.

OK -- the two "bad buddies":

#1 -- Doing a dive on Adophus Busch, a 110' wreck. Agreed upon pressure for starting ascent at mooring line is 1100psi. I'm on AL80, he's using a AL100. We are down in the cargo hold and I'm at 1500psi when I inquire as to his pressure --- 700psi!
As I asked him after we did an air-sharing ascent when he planned on telling me. In reality, I could see from his expression when he looked at his SPG that he was simply unware of how much gas he had left.

#2 bad buddy. I'm tagging along with a husband and wife buddy pair. Shallow tongue and groove reef. Plan is we will do 2 or 3 tongues to the north, then swim back past the boat and swim around 1 or two to the South. He hits the water first and without looking back, takes off high speed to the South. Several times in the dive I literally chase him down and grab his fin tip to stop him. His wife hits our turn pressure and stops. He just keeps going until nearly out of sight. I chase him down again and just about have grab him by the collar to turn him around.
As we are getting ready for the 2nd dive, the wife informs me that it will just be the two of us on the next dive. "Oh, is he sitting out the dive?" I inquire. "Nope." She answered. "I told him to go find another buddy!"

 

[SkullDeformity]

If I can't think of any bad dive buddies I've had, does that mean it was me?!

 

[JGBrown]

I only had one bad experience with buddies, in my OW water class I was buddied with an older buisnessman, he didn't feel the need to bother reading the book, or do a check before the dive unless I really bugged him.
On the other hand, my dive buddy probably has plenty of stories about my ineptitude.

 

[Twiddles]

Bad Buddies? Didnt think I had dived enough to have one until my latest trip. Hooked up with a group of 4, an instructor, an ow student, a rescue diver, and myself AOW. Figured great, I dive with my wife alot and frankly its a pain in the *** keeping track of exactly where we are in relation to the anchor line, this time I get a free ride woohoo.

I have just over 30 dives now and in every dive I have Never missed my return to the anchor line. I have had to square once, to locate it but with plenty of air to spare no worries. On this occassion we dropped off the anchor line to the bottom before the bottom was visible (first issue) we then proceeded to the wall offline of the anchor (second issue) visibility was no more than 10' (third issue) we proceeded along wall in heavy surge and began our return in the direction of the anchor chain. I had no idea what depth the anchor actually sat in (fourth issue). We continued on along the wall with the current for much longer than we originally moved along wall (fifth issue). We continued in same direction even after we hooked into an extremely fast current that pulled us along at faster than normal kick rate where no current was felt on outbound leg (sixth issue). We left rock face and headed out into open water away from any point of reference following the instructors lead who was proceeding along a route indicated by his compass (seventh issue). I TRUSTED SOMEBODY ELSE TO LEAD ME SAFELY ON A DIVE (Biggest issue).

How can things go so bad? Dropped off line to bottom to get a student their "deep dive", headed to wall along unknown compass heading which would have only served a usefull purpose had I known exact depth of drop point from anchor chain and had I the skill to hit that exact point on the return trip, poor visibility was not accounted for in dive plan, heading off to planned dive destination without locating anchor location landmarks is just asking for a miss when you return. The rest is pretty obvious but the moral of the story is simple.

In most cases you can be your worst dive buddy. The instant you expect anything from somebody else (including an instructor) the more likely you are to be disappointed in what you get. In current, surge, and poor viz, its a bit difficult to debate options with the leader but if you are uncertain you are to blame. For the record the dive wasn't terribly bad just poorly dived, we ended up almost a 1/4 mile from the boat (people on deck were visible but a long waaay off). We made it about half way back before the captain took pity on us and sent out a zodiac for the pickup. Lived and learned.

 

[MrRoo]

My lady budy this past weekend went to do my buddy check before we headed out into the ocean and when she checked my air she turned it the wrong way and then only turned it a 1/4 turn on. Did the surface swim out to about a 100yards and went to the bottom. It was like sucking air through a straw and my gause was going crazy. Thought I had a leak but turned out my tank was almost turned off, good thing I was only 30ft down and didn'r run into any problems.

 

[pwl]

the worst buddy situations i've seen have all been in OW classes i've helped with, and have often been men abandoning their female partners, whom they've presumably dragged along to learn to dive with them.

these guys are *so* much stronger and just shoot off, leaving their "buddy" behind and struggling. in most cases i'd be surprised if them women in question ever dive again. :/


outside of classes it's also people who shoot off, disappear & don't look around; i mean why bother going so fast? it really bugged me when i was in a group of 3, and the guy who often would dive with my more regular buddy would vanish - made me wonder how they got on when i wasn't around

 

[slackercruster]

If I can't think of any bad dive buddies I've had, does that mean it was me?!

Does that mean it was me?....Don't know.

But I do have the bad habit of leaving my buddy wife sometimes. I bought tank knockers for us to keep in touch. The problem with me is I usually lead and forget to keep looking back at her sometimes. If I get too far ahead she knocks.

 

[Fish_Whisperer]

My biggest problems have been with buddies who disappear, but I've been guilty of going off and doing my own thing as well, especially in relatively shallow quarry dives... The other problem is with buddies who just won't keep their distance, or else they go zooming right underneath me, and I'm the one who ends up having to take evasive action. "Damn... C'mon, man.. The ocean's a big place!"

 

[Charlie99]

The other problem is with buddies who just won't keep their distance, or else they go zooming right underneath me, and I'm the one who ends up having to take evasive action. "Damn... C'mon, man.. The ocean's a big place!"

OTOH, I've been diving with lots of insta-buddies where as we wander back and forth it seemed perfectly natural to cross paths with just a few inches of separation. Divers that stay truly neutral don't need to kick or move to stay in position and don't need big distances between them.
It usually only takes a minute or two underwater to get a feel for what sort of buddy someone is. Someone is is smooth in their motions is generally comfortable with occasional close passes.

Another good indicator of buddy skills is when I stick my head under a ledge to look at something. If when I spend a few extra seconds looking at something he is suddenly there beside me to check out what I've found, then it's pretty clear that he has good buddy awareness. The opposite extreme is where I stop to look, and for the next 10 seconds can watch him continue to swim away and never look back. As I abandon what I wanted to look at and speed over to close up distance before he disappears, I know that his situational awareness is lacking.

 

[Rick Inman]

When these "bad buddy" threads come up, it's a good time to review our own buddy skills and see how we can improve (of course, it's easier to just talk about how bad the other guy was).

Some good questions to ask ourselves are:

Am I aware at all times of where my buddy is? How much effort will it take for my buddy to get my attention if he/she needs me?

Is my buddy aware of where I am? A good light can be a help here, where the beam can be easily seen by all team members.

Am I correctly positioned in the water? One of the things I used to be guilty of as a new diver was hanging above and behind my buddy. That's about the worst place you can be.

I'm I communicating well? That means returning Ok's with Ok's, not head nods. A thumb means returning a thumb, not just an OK. There is nothing more frustrating that giving a buddy a signal, and then just getting an empty stare back. Take the time to communicate well.

Am I following the plan? There is a reason you plan the dive. Don't break the plan without communication and agreement. If we have a turn pressure, don't fail to communicate the turn when you hit the pressure - even it you sucked down the gas twice as fast as you thought you would. This isn't a contest. Be honest.

Am I diving beyond me comfort/skill level - or encouraging my buddy to do the same? A good buddy leaves their ego at the truck. Anyone can call any dive at any time for any reason. If a buddy ever gives me crap for calling a dive, that will be our last dive together. I need to make sure I am making my buddy feel comfortable enough to call a dive, or adjusting the plan, at any time. No pressure.

Am I letting my buddy know of any issues? If I'm feeling stressed, or uncomfortable, or having an equipment issue, I need to let my buddy know.

Can my buddy count on me for help? Am I lighting up there hands when they need the light? Am I watching them when they are dealing with a piece of gear in case they need something? Am I situationally aware of my buddy's dive as well as my own?

A good buddy will honestly de-brief the dive. Where did we do well, and where can we improve?

And finally, a good buddy will buy the lunch.

I'm sure there are more. But, whenever we start to tell stories on the bad buddies we've had (and we've all had them), it's a good time to review our own buddy skills, and therefore not become the bad buddy ScubaBoard story ourselves!