mer-maiden:
How will I know which size bc is better for me?
Hi Sarah--
Like kent_1848 said, the difference in lift almost certainly won't make a significant difference for you. It's all going to depend on fit. How did the XS fit?
I assume you're using conventional jacket-style BCs. The cummerbund (wide padded band around your waist with velcro closure) should fit snugly, below your rib cage -- not at your beltline, like you may assume... the bottom of your rib cage holds it in place.
The cummerbund's velcro should be somewhere in the middle of its adjustment range when snugged up, as should the shoulder straps; not at one extreme or the other -- you're going to want some adjustment room, particularly to tighten down in the water.
And like kent_1848 also indicated, the decisive factor in deciding whether a BC is the right size, is going to be whether it "holds" you well when inflated at the surface, without slipping up around your head (or, rather, allowing your to slip down into the water inside of it). That doesn't necessarily mean when fully-inflated; but enough so that your head is comfortably out of the water.
You're fortunate, in that you're going to be able to start judging what you like and don't like, and what sizes fit... but a big factor for the future is going to what kind of exposure protection you're going to be wearing in open water; a thick wetsuit will make a big difference in BC fit. And also remember that there are no "standard" sizes... one manufacturer's XS may fit you, and another's S.
Oh... and it's absolutely appropriate to ask questions of your instructor, when you don't understand the what and why of things... as long as you don't become a "spring-butt," or sound like you're challenging him/her.
--Marek