Bad Buddy Concerns

[2 Big 2 Fail]

You describe what's bothering you, but then you ask about diving with someone you're not 100% confident in. Those to situations are miles apart. I mean, you're going to have to do a whole lot with someone to even pretend you're 100%.

Is it that you are afraid he'll try to lead off into one of his storied risky affairs and you will feel obliged to follow? Or what he'll think or say if you tell him none of that baloney allowed while you're along? Doesn't matter which or if it's something else. Would you dive drunk? Would you dive with a regulator you weren't sure of? If you go into something knowing there's a good chance you'll end up saying to yourself, "I knew I shouldn't have...", well you just shouldn't have.

Of course, it wouldn't bother me to tell him, "Dude, you push it too hard and take too many chances for me to commit to staying with you under water. Sorry."

 

[ItWasntMe]

First the advice given about being open and honest is likely the BEST thing you can do. Remember though it's not always what you say but "HOW" you say it that makes the difference between understanding and hurt feelings.

If it was me, I'd give him a call or talk to him in person. Tell him the truth, diving the Puegot Sound concerns you as it's way out of your experience and comfort zone. Ask him if he'd be willing to go slow, dive with you like you're a fresh OW1 diver that just get their cert. If he's any sort to dive with, he'll understand and take it slow and easy.

Another option is to get out the yellow pages for the area, or put the internet to work for you. Locate 3 or 4 dive shops in the general vicinity and give them a call. Just explain to them that you're an out of the area diver, you normally drift dive warm water, and don't know what to expect for that area. Ask if they maintain a list of competent experienced divers willing to buddy up with newbies, or if they know anyone they can put you in touch with. This will be enough for a concientous shop to start talking to you and trying to help. Personal opinion if they blow you off at that point, write down their name and don't patronize them. Go on to the next shop on your list and start over again.

I don't think anyone should have to pay a DM $40 to go dive with them theres too many folks out there willing to dive for the sake of diving and helping out another diver. On the other hand it may be nice to offer your dive buddy of the day lunch just to say thanks. Most folks will just be happy to have helped. Granted paying a DM $40 is always an option.

Years ago I'd be that guy who'd go out with inexperienced divers and spend a day just taking it easy with them. Somedays it felt more like babysitting and teaching what they should already have known, other days it was just a great day with good diving. The thing was even if I had to start with the basics and feel like teacher the whole time, it was still an enjoyable dive. Why? Simple, HOPEFULLY I was able to help them out in some small way, and if not I still got to go diving!

Solo diving I used to do often enough, mostly areas that I was quite familiar with. It's not for everyone but can be quite enjoyable. The knowledge and confidence of solo diving can be quite benificial if you end up buddied up with a "bad buddy". You know that YOUR safety isn't so dependant on your buddy's actions. This doesn't mean abandon your buddy, it just allows you to compartmentalize yourself while remaining a buddy while not being dependant upon someone else. Don't know if that makes sense or not.

Just 2 cents from the new guy. Hope it helps.

 

[highlandfarmwv]

This business of depending upon buddies to save your life has just gone too far! I think everyone should understand they are totally responsible for their own safety.

 

[NorCalDM]

This business of depending upon buddies to save your life has just gone too far! I think everyone should understand they are totally responsible for their own safety.

I totally agree with this statement!! As a DM when I'm working with classes I treat every dive as a solo dive. I'm the one bringing up the rear looking out for the students nobody's looking out for me but me. As for what the OP asked, I think I would work it out with my cousin who I know instead of getting in the water with a total stranger. If he is as experience as you say he will understand and you may learn something.

 

[Belce]

I think that yes, you have to be responsible for your self first when it comes to safety. It is the basis behind the any one can call a dive, if you don`t think it is safe work you can refuse in the workplace. If you do something that you have safety doubts at the beginning, why did you do it.

And that is why we talk about the dive before hand, these are my concerns about diving there, you have this reputation and this is what I would like my dive to be.

 

[movieflick]

Is it that you are afraid he'll try to lead off into one of his storied risky affairs and you will feel obliged to follow? Or what he'll think or say if you tell him none of that baloney allowed while you're along? "

This is indeed the case to some extent. I am concerned he would push the dive beyond my comfort zone. I don't want to be put in the position of making the choice of abandoning my buddy or doing something I don't think is safe or in my skill set.

 

[dive brat]

This business of depending upon buddies to save your life has just gone too far! I think everyone should understand they are totally responsible for their own safety.

I try to always go hiking with a "buddy." Doesn't mean I am not responsible for my own safety on the hike, just means that if I slip and break ankle I will have help. Also probably improves my chances of not being attacked by a mountain lion...

d.b.

 

[2 Big 2 Fail]

Certainly works for me. I have found that when I dive with a buddy, I'm never attacked by mountain lions.

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

Certainly works for me. I have found that when I dive with a buddy, I'm never attacked by mountain lions.

Sea lions might be a different story ...



... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[Teamcasa]

I make frequent trips to Washington and have always wanted to dive Puget Sound. The issue I am running into is that my cousin is the only one that I can buddy with there. I always find excuses to give him on why I can't go when he asks but in reality I am concerned that he would be a bad dive buddy.

He is a very experienced diver and has dived many conditions all over the globe, where as I am more of a warm water drift diver. It isn't his skills that give me pause it is his risky behavior on land combined with some of the dive stories he tells that give pause.

I am curious if anyone has decided to dive with someone they were not 100% comfortable with and if so how did it turn out?

I have dived with many people that on-shore, make me nervous but in-water were terrific divers/buddies and vis-versa. You will never know unless you try it. If he turns out to be a bad buddy diver, you will be able to tell him exactly why an not have to lie to him anymore.