I don't have much experience to offer a comparison between how well some of the inflator regs work, but I switched to the new AIR2 5th Generation (back mounted pony, necklaced reg) and find it to breath just fine, buoyancy control, not a problem. In fact, works perfect because when I do my ascents I hold it right in front of my face anyway to have a clear view of my wrist computer (AI, so my depth, ascent speed and gas data is right there rather than looking for my SPG). I like the dive/pre dive switch to prevent free flows and perhaps this was the solution to make them breath better.
Honestly, I don't think dealing with any panicked diver is going to be enjoyable regardless of the setup. They can kill you with a long hose and necklaced octo or with an AIR2. I think rather than focusing too much on a proven gear configuration (although some hate it), focus on "who" you're diving with so you don't end up in that situation to begin with.