I dont see why there is any concern with getting an SLR and not knowing how to use it yet.
Lets compare it to car driving, where we can assume that those under 15 cannot drive, once at 15 you can get a learners permit, and you have to use the learners permit for a year before you can get your license. And, there are sets of rules you must follow in order to not only survive, but to keep your car without scratches and to not get a traffic ticket.
You dont expect someone who is 10 years old to know how to drive, do you? No, they cant drive yet. A 10 year old probably has a bike, though, and is around cars. So, they learn some of the rules of the road. They see their parent get at ticket or maybe a friend gets in a crash, but they dont drive themselves. At 15, they apply for a learners permit and are allowed to drive, but there are some extra rules they follow such as a special curfew, and I know some areas require them to have a special shaped license or put a sign on their car that they are on a learners permit. They can still get a ticket, though. Finally after a year they become a licensed driver with less restrictions but many of the same rules of the road to continue following.
Someone without a camera still learns some of the basic rules by being around photographers. They might learn to clean orings before closing the housing, and to charge the batteries, and bring a card reader. They see that you have to not get task loaded with a camera, or else you can run out of air, or do something else to hurt yourself underwater. But, they dont shoot photos themselves.
Then, they get a point and shoot. Maybe they dont have a strobe, so they shoot mostly in shallow water, macro stuff with a handheld light, or silhouettes against the surface. They have to start following many of the rules of photography, such as not flooding their housing, or getting distracted and losing their buddy. But, we all understand if they violate some simple rules of the road, such as forgetting who has the right of way at a 4 way stopmaybe they get a lot of photos out of focus, underexposed, etc.
After some time, they feel ready to try out an SLR, but even then, they are new. They get a nice car, but they stick to local driving, and dont drive late at night, or eat while driving. They get where they need to go, using some automatic modes, as they try out new things, such as controlling multiple strobes, that they didnt do with their learners permit.
Of course, the analogy is not perfectsome people are happy with a point and shoot and get amazing pictures. Others skip the point and shoot and get an SLR and do fine. Its just an attempt to point out that you cant expect someone to know how to use features theyve never had before, and its ok to start out with automatic modes.
On the rig I use, its a hassle to adjust both shutter speed and aperture in manual mode, so Ill often use aperture priority. When the shots arent what I want, I set the aperture to what Id like then jump to manual where I can adjust shutter speed easily. Aperture priority has gotten me some great shots.
At the end of the day, I have never once asked a photographer what model of camera, what size sensor, what lens, what strobes, what housing, and what mode he or she captured an amazing picture with, then changed my opinion of the art. A great picture is a great picture, regardless of those things. I might ask because I want to know how I can take similar pictures, but I dont scoff because someone got a picture Im jealous of in aperture priority instead of manual mode.
The most helpful thing to understand how manual mode works is to shoot in it, a lot! Practice on land to save yourself time underwater. I do find it helpful to identify what you have to press to change this or that, and find out where those things are on your housing. Ive found some things just arent easy to do with only two hands on an Ikelite housing. And, some features I dont use often, I find myself struggling to remember underwater. Once you identify something you couldnt figure out underwater, practice it for a while on land to build that memory.
Also, make sure the histogram is turned on! The flashing background helps make it obvious when you guess wrong on exposure, and Im a big fan of making it easy to catch mistakes.