Anxiety that doesn’t seem to leave

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The times I have over extended myself and taken my training or my diving too far too fast, and it has happened a number of times in my diving life, each of those events shook me up pretty badly. Diving was no longer the fun, relaxing, enjoyable hobby I loved. Twice I have taking a course and determined in the middle of class that either that was not the instructor for me or that was not the type of diving for me. Both were horrible experiences. I walked away from both courses losing a good bit of money. I've also had several near misses while diving that were quite terrifying. There are 3 that stick in my mind to this day even though they were years ago.

Each of these events easily could have triggered me to walk away from diving. The common themes in terms of how I recovered from each is (1) I got back in the water as quickly as possible, (2) I returned to the absolute basics, (3) and I waited until I had rediscovered the magic of diving and waited for the peace and enjoyment to return. Then and only then did I begin doing more significant dives of any sort. Each of these events has helped shape the limits I adhere to today. I know viscerally what I can handle and what is too much. I now stay within the sphere of the diving I enjoy. Diving is now fun, relaxing, peaceful, and rewarding and I work hard to keep it that way.

I'm not sure any of that will help but wanted to share what worked for me.
 
However a few years back I did a dive and got narked quite bad. This caused me to panic a bit. After coming up a bit and breathing through it I completed the dive with no other issues.

...

The issue being is ever since that day I get this rush of anxiety when I think of being underwater. I’ve done at around 40 dives since then due to lock downs and such.

You had a bad dive and now you've only done around 40 dives in "a few years".

If I assume a few years translates to at least 3, then that's less than 15 dives per year.

Scuba diving has many perishable skills. I'd say you have not been diving enough to maintain the level you were diving at and every dive since then has really been likely a slow, backwards progression.

Not that any of that is "wrong" or a problem. Just something to recognize. Don't push yourself to dive at the level you were diving before. As people have already said, it seems likely that if you just get out and spend some quality time diving - in the zone in which you CURRENTLY feel comfortable - you can build that comfort and confidence back up to where you used to be. But, if you try to dive at the level you were before, it will be harder to overcome the anxiety.

Start with single tank in a pool, if that's the only way you can be in the water and feel comfortable. Even that MIGHT take a session or two before it feels comfortable.

Good luck and welcome back in advance. :)
 
I have experienced something similar on my first dive after Mod 2. Had a 100' mins of stops after a wreck dive and my breathing took off like a train, (the triggering event is not relevant but it was diver error). I immediately thought I had a scrubber breakthrough and this sensation of uncontrolled breathing lasted for about 2 minutes, it was scary I knew I could not get off the loop, I had no BOV and my breathing was out of control. And then just like that it was gone. I then experienced a similar but not as bad episode of rpaid breathing on every dive for that entire season and it was not pleasant, especially at depth. However, over the winter when the dive depths were reduced and the diving was therefore not as challenging, with out noticing it, the anxiety attacks dissipated. So like others have said already, give yourself some time, go back to doing easy dives that are so easy, that deep in your psyche you know that they are easy and then slowly build your confidence back up to where you where at.
 
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