by your own admission in the OP you are not certified to be in overhead environments, how come you accuse the dive shop of taking only three highly unqualified divers in an overhead environment and not five, to include yourself and your wife?
what makes you qualified, just the dives you had in the past weeks, thankfully without incident?
I think this illustrates an important problem in how we think about overhead environments. We tell people that they aren't qualified to be in overhead environments without technical certification, and that is the rule. Period.
There is an arch on the wall at about 5 feet of depth outside of the Coral Princess in Cozumel. Highly unskilled snorkelers go through it all the time. It is an overhead environment. If a diver wants to go through it, is technical certification necessary?
Open water divers go through short swim throughs and lava tubes by the thousands all over the world every day. Divers go into small, one or two room wrecks that are wide open and easily entered and exited all over the world every day.
A rule that is so thoroughly ignored is not only worthless as a rule, it is worse than worthless. When divers ignore a rule like that in complete safety every day in those easy cases, they see the rule as ridiculous and ignore it completely. They are left with no sense of where to draw the line.
To give an example that has nothing to do with diving, in the Denver area about 15 years ago we had a multi-lane divided highway that was a major commuting road. The speed limit was 55 mph, and drivers absolutely ignored it. The department of transportation did a study and found that almost no one was obeying it, and the average speed was way above that limit. They did something surprising--they raised the speed limit to 65! Asked for an explanation, they said that studies show that when a rule is seen as ridiculously wrong, it is so completely disobeyed tha
t it is worse than having no rule at all, because it gives no guidance. They said that studies showed that left with no speed limit, most drivers will instinctively drive at a safe speed, and if they see a speed limit as reasonable, they are more likely to obey it. It worked! After the speed limit was raised to a more appropriate speed, the average speed of drivers actually went down.
I think the same thing would be true if we had more reasonable guidelines for overhead environments, and, BTW, I'm working on it.