Another Lawyer Joke

[aussie_shark_bait]

A guy phones a law office and says, "I want to speak to my
lawyer."

The receptionist replies, "I'm sorry but he died last week."

The next day he phones again and asks the same question.
The receptionist replies, "I told you yesterday, he died
last week."

The next day the guy calls again and asks to speak to his
lawyer. By this time the receptionist is getting annoyed
and replies, "I keep telling you that your lawyer died
last week. Why do you keep calling?"

The guy responds, "Because I just love hearing it."

 

[Mako Mark]

A man walks into a store followed by his 10-year-old son. The kid is flipping a quarter into the air and catching it in his mouth. As they continue on someone bumps into the boy at just the wrong moment and the coin goes into his mouth and lodges in his throat. He immediately starts choking, and the father starts to panic.


A well-dressed middle-aged and very-serious woman in a business suit is sitting at the coffee bar in the market reading her Wall Street Journal and sipping on her latte. At the sound of the commotion she looks up, puts her coffee down, carefully folds her newspaper and puts her purse on it. Then she gets up from her seat and strolls toward the boy, who is now turning blue.

When she arrives, the woman takes hold of the boy's testicles and squeezes gently at first, but then gets evermore firm. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the coin, which the woman deftly catches from the air. She then releases the boy, hands the quarter to the father, and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son is OK, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before! It was fantastic. Are you a doctor?"

"Certainly not," the woman replies. "I'm a divorce attorney."

 

[Scubatooth]

hmm mark

thats an oldie but a goody. but normally its a older guy and the punch line is " I'm a divorce attorney, and i always win grab them by the balls and yank them for all there worth"

now let me find the paper towels to clean the Dublin Dr Pepper off my screen.

tooth

 

[shemetulskis]

^ya it fits better