Jim I know your pain all too well. I was 26 when my wife went to school and never made it to her destination. She was learning to be a chef in culinary school. We had never made any what if plans because this action was never even dreamed of happening. I was at that point in time of my life happy and felt as free as free could be too. I had the woman I had always dreamed of and I was working in law enforcement which was my dream job. I had moved to Alabama which in turn was paradise to me as well.
We had married in october 2001 (the 27th to be exact) and felt nothing to could hurt us and no matter how mad I got at her one look at her pretty face and all the anger was gone in an instant. We were poor though and yet she would have no problem telling any one we would one day build our dream home and would have 2 new cars in the garage. No matter how bad things got she believed this even stronger.
To make a long story short just 6 short weeks after my soul mate joined my side she was on her way to school when there had been a huge traffic accident ahead of her so she stopped due to traffic backed up on the highway. She had stopped behind a big rig with duel trailors. According to eye witness statements though the truck from behind her (Which I wont reveal the companies name for various reasons) did not appear to hit the breaks and appeared to be exceeding the posted speed limit. Well I was on duty that day and heard the radio traffic however was assigned to other duties making my response impractical since at that time I was unaware she was involved.
I made several attempts to call her that day and always got the answering machine. This was not uncommon though since she was in school and would have not had her phone on at that time. Now our department has 2 holding centers and I was on ones side of town and was not made aware they had caught the driver of the second truck who had fled the scene and taken to the other side of towns facilities. This was because at that point the entire department except me was aware of what had happend (For good reason). Only after this person had bonded out was I told exactly what would happen ( I hated it then but now understand and appreciate the fact they probably saved me from doing something extremely stupid at that time.)
December 13 was and will always be a scar on my life and one that I will hate every year. I hated Christmas and anything to do with it since it was so close to the date of the accident. I hated my parents for making me move home for it and I hated my inlaws for not understanding but in the end I came to realize my family did what they did because they love me and her family did what they did because they loved us and could not grasp what was going on either.
I made some bad choices after her loss and hurt a lot of people with my anger and hatred but in time it got easier not necessarily better to deal with. You never get over the loss you just learn that because they have passed you are still here and have to continue living.
You made a major step in recovery though in recognizing bad choices you feel you have made ( I use that term because I cant judge you ) and its a start. Things will get easier for you though as you appear to have loved your wife as much as I loved mine.
People dont always see eye to eye and its human nature. If we all agreed on everything just imagine how boring life would be. But hold your head up and continue doing what you do best and thats helping others realize their dreams by teaching them how to achieve them. You may or may not know it but what many may see as just teaching a class you may actually be teaching 2 people something that in the future allows them to meet on a dive boat and actually get married one day. And just think you will have given them the same thing you and your wife once shared to fall in love.
Well thats my two cents and hope it gets better for you
We had married in october 2001 (the 27th to be exact) and felt nothing to could hurt us and no matter how mad I got at her one look at her pretty face and all the anger was gone in an instant. We were poor though and yet she would have no problem telling any one we would one day build our dream home and would have 2 new cars in the garage. No matter how bad things got she believed this even stronger.
To make a long story short just 6 short weeks after my soul mate joined my side she was on her way to school when there had been a huge traffic accident ahead of her so she stopped due to traffic backed up on the highway. She had stopped behind a big rig with duel trailors. According to eye witness statements though the truck from behind her (Which I wont reveal the companies name for various reasons) did not appear to hit the breaks and appeared to be exceeding the posted speed limit. Well I was on duty that day and heard the radio traffic however was assigned to other duties making my response impractical since at that time I was unaware she was involved.
I made several attempts to call her that day and always got the answering machine. This was not uncommon though since she was in school and would have not had her phone on at that time. Now our department has 2 holding centers and I was on ones side of town and was not made aware they had caught the driver of the second truck who had fled the scene and taken to the other side of towns facilities. This was because at that point the entire department except me was aware of what had happend (For good reason). Only after this person had bonded out was I told exactly what would happen ( I hated it then but now understand and appreciate the fact they probably saved me from doing something extremely stupid at that time.)
December 13 was and will always be a scar on my life and one that I will hate every year. I hated Christmas and anything to do with it since it was so close to the date of the accident. I hated my parents for making me move home for it and I hated my inlaws for not understanding but in the end I came to realize my family did what they did because they love me and her family did what they did because they loved us and could not grasp what was going on either.
I made some bad choices after her loss and hurt a lot of people with my anger and hatred but in time it got easier not necessarily better to deal with. You never get over the loss you just learn that because they have passed you are still here and have to continue living.
You made a major step in recovery though in recognizing bad choices you feel you have made ( I use that term because I cant judge you ) and its a start. Things will get easier for you though as you appear to have loved your wife as much as I loved mine.
People dont always see eye to eye and its human nature. If we all agreed on everything just imagine how boring life would be. But hold your head up and continue doing what you do best and thats helping others realize their dreams by teaching them how to achieve them. You may or may not know it but what many may see as just teaching a class you may actually be teaching 2 people something that in the future allows them to meet on a dive boat and actually get married one day. And just think you will have given them the same thing you and your wife once shared to fall in love.
Well thats my two cents and hope it gets better for you
