Advice for traveling without dive buddy

[DevonDiver]

I think one of the issues here is the constant pointing the finger back at the OP instead of addressing what is actually an issue when traveling without a buddy.

I think, by addressing the thread at all, it can be seen that people agree there is a potential problem. I simply stress the word 'potential' - because I believe that solutions exist to end, or decrease, that problem.

What I've seen, over many years of travel as a solitary diver, is a situation where multiple divers sign up for a charter. They get buddied up with a stranger, as is common practice - adherence to the buddy scheme by operators. I've observed very few of them make an effort to communicate effectively with their new buddy before the dive to establish procedures and expectations. A process they are taught to do. On the dive itself, they are often equally guilty of adopting a passive approach to buddy protocols - expecting their partner to take the lead, or at least act in a way that conforms to their (un-communicated) expectations. Added to that, as relatively inexperienced divers, their own situational awareness and ability to anticipate problems in advance is very limited. That leads to issues on the dive... which they then complain about.

I'm not saying he or any of us are obsolved of responsibility as a dive buddy, but it is a tricky situation. To say you wouldn't want someone as a buddy who has concerns about their instabuddy rocketing to the surface or doing a sudden descent beyond the dive plan is ignoring the fact that the instabuddy is violating protocols and IMO the dive op should have vetted them or at least forced a refresher on skills after the first dive.

I do agree - diving is a leisure activity, and it is hard to voice complaint to a fellow pleasure diver who may take offence to any perceived criticism of their diving capacity.. especially as they've not asked for a critique.

However, every diver does have an intrinsic right to preserve their own safety. That right might be considered to over-ride any hesitations to 'shape' expectations for a dive. Of course, approaching the issue with diplomacy and tact on the dive boat generally assures a more positive result.

One thing is for sure... saying nothing on the issue at the time, to the diver concerned... and preserving your pent-up angst for an outpouring on an anonymous internet forum will achieve very little in terms of practical results to change negative diver habits.

...we aren't dive pros with the level of experience or training that you have,..

This is why I seek to share my experience. I/we cannot address the failings of the general diving population as a whole - but we can address improvements that can be made by readers to the thread/s we are involved in. What I encourage is simply to 'get our own house in order', before casting blame at others.

The one thing we have ultimate power to shape is our own performance, attitude and approach to diving.

In many cases, doing so will be enough to create a more positive outcome.

...plus you are in a position of authority when acting in a professional capacity so I think that makes it easier to implement in some regards ...

I'd balance that against the reality that being a dive pro inevitably means operating in a 'customer service' role. Where a customer/diver doesn't perceive a problem with their approach to dives, it can be much, much harder to broach the issues necessary to shape their behavior and mindset. This is compounded exponentially when faced with a larger group of divers who all demonstrate unsafe diving practices and have done so, as a group, for some considerable time. Trust me... until you've taken a group of 8 inexperienced Chinese Open Water divers, all loaded with state-of-the-art DSLR cameras... into the water, you've not experienced stress. LOL

Nonetheless, the dive pro still retains a 'duty-of-care' for that person/s... and isn't in a position to disregard/refuse to dive with them (unless very serious issues have arisen).

As a consequence, various remedial approaches have to be developed - and those need to be done so with the utmost of diplomacy and tact... because you cannot simply 'rebuke' or 'order' a customer.

2) it doesn't give any support to the notion that being paired up with a crazy dive buddy stinks and is not always easy to resolve.

I do actually agree. However, I am stressing a resolution. 'Going solo'... abandoning your buddy....or doing nothing, but seeking sympathy online as an afterthought... are not resolutions to the problem. They are merely avoidance of the problem.

I never said it was easy. I merely said it can be done.

....The dives were alright, but I wouldn't say the buddy situation was ideal.

With hindsight... what could you have done differently to influence and shape the conduct of that dive?

(not criticism...so please don't feel the need to respond defensively, as others have.... I'm just encouraging learning through self-analysis).

 

[diverdorr68]

This was really a simple thread, and was answered early on. Use an instabuddy/ies come what may, hire a private DM, or get solo certified.
In my opinion it was a great question to ask, thank you to the OP, plenty of relevance to plenty people. The answers to this common problem were pretty straightforward.
I don't think more simple or better advice could have been given then when one person suggested to have a chat with your instabuddy before the dive. Seems obvious.
Ok, so you had your chat, game planned your dive, and things still went poorly. That is part what can happen when diving with an unknown buddy. Of course there are options though, already given right? Easy solutions to the problem.
Someone being concerned of their instabuddy not being willing or able to follow the dive plan is not a reason to shy away from them as a possible buddy for me. Someone who is only partially aware of his responsibilities as a buddy(or is confused as to why he is complaining), is cocky, is hard headed, and dismisses advice from divers with thousands of dives because the answers don't suit him..Nope, not diving with that guy. Hot Dogs have their place, on a bun with mustard, not with me. I like to listen to those with experience, so far it has been great to do so. I bet as you get more experienced, alot of the suggestions that have been ignorantly dismissed will start to make sense little by little.
Why complain about not wanting to do things that they are not even supposed to do, have not been asked to do, and have been trained not to do in the first place? Confusing to me.
I'll be doing my first real dive here in the USA in a week or two. If my buddy is an absolute disaster(going back to the OP), it will only send me to get the SDI solo card sooner. I guess that will cost a couple hundred. Sounds reasonable and solves the problem.

 

[AaronRiot]

Perhaps much of the instabuddy issue has to do with people in general.

Some of us newbies look up to the more experienced vets and do our best to learn and practice on the fly, and some of the vets do all they can to be a temporary mentor of sorts (not only for the newb, but also to help lead a safer and more enjoyable dive for both parties involved who have been thrown into a situation). In every new meeting, one is more advanced in this area or that than the other - even if only by a sliver. These types keep an open, ever-learning mind.

On the other hand, some people are innately arrogant and take on a holier than thou approach (whether that be the green horn or old salt or somewhere in between it doesn't really matter) making the dive less enjoyable than it could be for all should egos have been put aside and cards dealt played to make the best hand possible. Sometimes a jerk is simply that: a jerk.

It's easy to agree that the first type mentioned can be a bother at times, but in the end if both parties communicate and do their best they'll go home with a smile. While on the other hand, making the best of the situation can be difficult. Luckily, there's a good chance the rest of the group will notice trouble and perhaps accommodate on subsequent dives.

 

[DevonDiver]

... or get solo certified.

As an aside, solo certification is of limited use in many instances.

It is fine if you have the capability and resources to conduct dives without reliance upon a diving operation... i.e. you have your own boat, or are content to shore dive at home using your own gear and cylinders.

When faced with dives that rely upon the support/operation of a dive center, you are subject to their rules. I suspect that those who have issues with 'insta-buddies' often fall into that category. Whilst there are some operations that will allow solo diving by customers, there are many that will not.. or cannot.

A dive operator may choose not to accept solo certificates. This is because they retain a duty-of-care for their customers. Whilst a solo card may excuse an operator from legal liability for the diver, on that dive, it does not protect them from the ultimate consequences and repercussions of that diver becoming injured or killed. A dive shop may have to suspend operation pending an inquiry. Depending on location, the results of that inquiry may not reflect expert knowledge of responsibilities, certification levels, expectations of a diver at their given training level etc. It may expose a dive center to the impact of extortion from corrupt authorities (trust me.. this IS an issue in 3rd world countries). It will suffer from questioning and/or inaccurate media reporting - which is immensely damaging to trade.

Also, solo diving may not be permitted by regulation or law. That's certainly the case in many marine parks and other controlled locations. I work in Subic Bay... the harbor authorities here stipulate that all dives must be supervised by an accredited local dive guide. That rules out solo diving, regardless of experience or qualification.

In that respect, a solo certificate doesn't provide a 'right' to dive alone... it merely provides an ability to do so.

Of course.. a qualified solo diver may still dive with a buddy. I understand the logic in training and equipping yourself to a higher degree with the intention of preserving your own safety because the buddy system may not prove entirely reliable for it's stated purposes. I agree with that philosophy - that improved training and appropriate equipment increases personal safety - although I don't entirely understand why 'solo diving', in particular would be seen as the solution.

If the problem is 'bad teamwork', then surely the solution is to improve teamwork... rather than an abandonment of team skills.

The risk, as I see it, is that a solo trained diver might allow their own self-assurance to be reason to further abdicate their responsibilities to their designated buddy. IMHO, if solo diving training leads to a mindset that it is acceptable to 'abandon' a buddy, then it is a very negative outcome. In respect of solo diving 'within a buddy team', increased training and equipment is a personal failsafe, not an excuse for avoiding issues or the need for competent buddy skills.

 

[racerx_]

With hindsight... what could you have done differently to influence and shape the conduct of that dive?

Yeah I understand and appreciate where you're coming from. And I'm glad I wasn't on that 8-dslr dive haha!

In regard to shaping my previous dive, good question! Actually, I went in to the dive with this thread in mind, and was going to avoid all the instabuddy problems we are all familiar with. I knew another couple from my resort would be diving with me so thought we would end up buddied together as a trio with the dm leading.

I tried to pull a "divemasterdennis" on the boat ride over to the dive center, casually asking them about their experience, previous dives etc etc. Then on the boat suddenly the dm said I was her buddy and threw me a curve ball LOL. We did buddy checks and all and dive briefing seemed clear enough. She stated follow behind her so it would be easy for her to see everyone, and that was fair enough to me, at least we had agreed on positioning so that was one obstacle out of the way. In hindsight I kept my eyes on her pretty good, but I don't think she was doing the same all the time. No fault of hers, she was a fine dm, but its hard to be a buddy and dm at the same time I think. What I should have done is just signaled to her to slow down during the dive or something. Again, I'm still working on my proactiveness in all this. Getting better, but I know I'm not there yet. Which is why I like threads like this cause they help me process through what should/shouldn't happen and improve.

I think learning that although you may feel comfortable without strong buddy assistance, doesn't mean that the other person won't need you to be a strong buddy at some point in the dive is a major learning curve as a new diver. I think we spend most of our time trying to show that we know what we're doing and don't need help which is counter intuitive to the buddy system. Something I'm learning..

 

[DevonDiver]

I think we spend most of our time trying to show that we know what we're doing and don't need help which is counter intuitive to the buddy system. Something I'm learning..

I find this a very intuitive point.

The buddy system requires mutual motivation and interest. If one diver approaches that relationship with an intention of seeming infallible, or in the actual belief that they are infallible, then it may well provoke their buddy into a state of reliance or, at least, reduce their perception of an apparent need to 'look after' their buddy. The buddy becomes 'bad'.

In effect, a self-fulfilling prophesy occurs.

When I brief divers/students I reiterate that the buddy system is 'in effect'. I stress that I need a buddy for my own safety, regardless of my experience, training or relative 'authority' in a buddy team. I feel that this helps focus minds on individual responsibility and helps dispel any assumptions that might be made regarding my potential need for assistance.

One thing I've learnt over time is that a novice diver can easily become reliant on a more experienced diver. Reliance tends to dictate a focus upon oneself and ones' own sense of comfort, at the expense of considering the partner. If one diver feels safe, and assumes their partner feels safe, they will continue to act in a careless manner. The trick is to address their assumptions...

For a less experienced diver, a potential recourse is to clearly inform a buddy of what you want to occur on the dive (your expectations) - along with why you want it to happen. This often solves issues of diplomacy... but does involve a certain moderation of ego:

I want you to stay close to me versus I want to stay close to me, as I am nervous and appreciate that reassurance.

I want to confirm our gas supplies regularly versus Please remember to share your air details..and check mine.. regularly... as I worry about it on dives.

Don't separate from me on the dive versus Please stay within agreed distance and visual sight, as I am not confident alone underwater.

 

[diverdorr68]

DevonDiver "As an aside, solo certification is of limited use in many instances."

Good information. I see this can not completely eliminate the problem.


Luckily it is also of good use in many instances as well, reducing the number of times you may be exposed to a buddy you are not comfortable or compatible with, as in regard to the OP topic. No fix all, but it is a start that also adds more self-reliance skills/training, so doubly beneficial. I wish there had been an agency that offered solo certification in the Philippines before I left. I'm sure I will have my solo card before my return.