About diving with strangers-version 2

[Sue J]

So after 3 years of watching my son and husband dive I finally decide to get below the surface myself, despite problematic ears. On a trip to Central America my 11 yo daughter and I sign up for an intro. at a small eco-resort. After an hour in the pool and a quick 20-ft. dive in the bay in front of the resort we're ready to go out to a reef 15 minutes from shore. My son and husband decide to accompany us, in part to make sure we have more than 1 experienced diver for 2 newbies. As we're loading the boat another guest approaches the resort owner, who okays him to go out with us.

The new plan is that daughter will buddy with instructor, I'll be with husband, new guy will be with 13 yo son. We'll stay in a tight cluster, and go down and come up together. On the way out, ever the protective mom, I question the new guy. He says he certified in the military and has dived consistently since. No problem.

We get to the site, all get in okay and start down slowly. I'm having a little trouble equalizing, so I'm concentrating on my ears when I realize my son is signaling me that he needs to surface. I look for his buddy (new guy) and see his fins disappearing toward the reef. Husband signals me to stay put and goes up with son who turns out to have a mask full of blood due to a massive nosebleed. Son heads back to the boat.

Meanwhile, instructor is getting nervous about new guy. He's rushing new-diver daughter, who's also having problems equalizing, to get down quickly, so they can catch up with him. The result is that she ends up in pain and has to go back to the boat.

Instructor rejoins us and we get to the reef and find new guy happily toodling around on his own. We proceed to have a very nice dive (43 ft., 56 min. BT, lots to see) and head back to the boat safely.

On the positive side, no one got hurt. On the negative, daughter was convinced she can't equalize despite doing well on the earlier shallow dive. What bothers me most about new-guy-jerk's selfish behavior is that he had absolutely no clue what was happening with his buddy, my son. For all he knew son was in the midst of a major emergency. Didn't even ask or indicate any curiosity until back on the boat an hour after being separated from him.

Lessons?

To quote leabre, * It is not enough to know how many dives your buddy has, and how recent his diving experience is, it is more important to determine somehow whether you can trust him and whether you will be comfortable with this person under water.

Other lessons? You tell me. I'm the newbie!

 

[Monilite]

I've seen 3-person buddy teams a few times in my limited experience at diving. If a similar arrangement presents itself again, I think you should keep family together and let the diving stranger be a third buddy in one of the teams. I do have a couple of questions though. Did the buddy arrangements get made at the beginning of the trip out, or just before the dive? Did you encourage the stranger and your son to talk for at least a few minutes before the dive to start a rapport, or see if the guy was capable of havig an attentive interaction with a younger person? Some adults, especially overly macho guys, just treat young people like they aren't even there. Having your son dive with an attentive, responsible, fun-loving stranger would be good for him expecially if the new buddy praised his diving ability, or commented on a bad diving habit that you can't correct because your "just mom being mom". There is a reason your diving partner is called a "buddy".

 

[spectrum]

Hi Sue,

It sounds to me like a lot of things got out of hand and there was may to much trusting going on. The instructor bit off way more than he could chew. He had you out on a boat in some significant depth of water and out of control. You don't say if there was a person who stayed on the boat to manage that or assist returning divers.

First of all on an intro dive you should have been under direct professional supervision. I don't mean to knock your husband in any way but the instructor obviously did not have a chance to evaluate his ability to manage you if things went sour. I realize there was an intent to dive as a pack but he failed to manage the dive in that manner and things began to fall apart.

I think you are spot on with the protective mom intentions. as a 13 year old diver your son needed to be with a trusted adult that equally understands where your son is as a diver, not an insta-buddy.

When your son was surfacing alone I think your husband had to take action. I am assuming that your were in a steady state at that time. Being where you are in your learning curve having you surface with him may have been better depending how deep you were and if you were on the anchor line or alone in the water column. Your son, returning to the surface (to an unattended boat?) was at much higher risk so your husband did well to respond.

As for the mysterious stranger/buddy he was a total Bozo who used your family and jeopardized safety to get his fix.

I hope the instructor was enough of a prince to get your daughter safely back on the boat!

So then he joins you and your husband for an enjoyable dive with 2 children alone topside and the mystery diver spotted but out at large. I guess he wanted to make sure you were satisfied .

Now I'd like to believe that all of this happened with an attendant on the boat and the returns to the surface were from a depth of like 6 feet with little current on calm seas but it sounds like a significant boat ride to an open water reef. So it's enough to let one's imagination run wild.

IMO these sort of dives belong in sheltered coves with 1:1 supervision. The plan for your husband to be your buddy was OK with you diving as a foursome. Letting Your son be in the water with the stranger is where things went from manageable to out of control.

I too am happy that all ended safely.

I have a definition of a good dive... Nobody got hurt, all of the gear returned and I learned something. The nosebleed didn't sound like a big deal so you all did good.

You as an untrained rookie seemed to manage the event in a promising way and despite adversity it sounds like the children held their own. Your husband dealt with some challenges and I'm sure walked away with some new perspectives.

As for your daughter it may be slight setback but if she got that far she should be able to rebound. I do suggest that you get to your local dive center with your daughter and complete a full format OW course. If you start the process now you can be certified in your local waters for summertime and build some real skills diving as a family, how cool that will be!

Happy diving,
Pete

 

[fisherdvm]

In many ways, I don't blame the "new guy". He is a paid customer, and is entitled to be a solo diver - if he desired. If you signed up for "discover scuba", then the instructor is your buddy, and your divemaster. If I tagged along on a discover scuba boat, I would not want to be a designated baby sitter for anybody, as I am not going to be liable for the skills of a new diver. Actually, discover scuba divers shouldn't even considered to be a certified diver, and should only dive with a divemaster or instructor.

The instructor is ultimately responsible for everyone in the discovery scuba program. A paid certified diver is only responsible for himself. Unless he agreed to other terms. Once you have dove with enough "instant buddies", you would soon realize that you are on your own.

I remember seeing a family of 3 - mom and two kids, about 11 to 14 years old, and a dive instructor. Wow, what a mess to be responsible for. 3 discovery scuba divers. They could not pay me enough to take responsibility for 1 teen age diver, not to mention 3 discovery scuba divers.

In many way, I fault the divemaster for not being responsible for his team. I do empathize for the experienced diver. I've been on more than one dive that were delayed or terminated earlier because of new divers with difficulties. I do not mind it too much, but I can see where others will feel differently.

 

[spectrum]

I do empathize for the experienced diver.

How can you say this? The son was a certified (junior) diver and he accepted the buddy role, even after being grilled by mom. He used this family to get out on a boat.

 

[fisherdvm]

How can you say this? The son was a certified (junior) diver and he accepted the buddy role, even after being grilled by mom. He used this family to get out on a boat.

As I understand, certified junior divers can only accompany either the parent (or legal guardian), or a divemaster/instructor.

There is a tremendous liability for diving with junior divers. I am not saying what he did is right. But we really need to rethink who is responsible for the junior diver and discovery scuba divers.

The responsibility of this boy is still the parent, and the divemaster. Not to say that the instructor is breaking rules... As I recall, certified junior diver less than 12 of many agencies are limitted to depths shallower than 40 ft. And I would say also, discovery scuba students probably should be held to even shallower depths.

 

[spectrum]

As I understand, certified junior divers can only accompany either the parent (or legal guardian), or a divemaster/instructor.

There is a tremendous liability for diving with junior divers. I am not saying what he did is right. But we really need to rethink who is responsible for the junior diver and discovery scuba divers.

The responsibility of this boy is still the parent, and the divemaster. Not to say that the instructor is breaking rules... As I recall, certified junior diver less than 12 of many agencies are limitted to depths shallower than 40 ft. And I would say also, discovery scuba students probably should be held to even shallower depths.

Can we agree that the DM was incompetent and the "other diver" was unethical?

Regardless of the agency (whatever agency(s)) position on who can buddy with a junior diver it sounds like he clearly accepted responsibility. If he had declined I'm certain that other arrangements would have been made.

 

[BabyDuck]

exactly. the other diver *said* 'yes'. if he didn't mean it, he shouldn't have said it.

however, the instructor was on the stupid side for *asking*. that's shirking *his* responsibility.

 

[fisherdvm]

Yes we can, Spectrum. Unethical it was to not descend with your buddy, and assist if help is needed. Especially if you claim that you are experienced. I have abandoned or delayed more than one dive to help other divers. The same in the past, when other's have abandoned their dives to help me out. There is more to diving than just getting your money's worth.

But the lesson for all divers are, don't count on your instant buddies.

 

[CoralSeaMan]

A "Discover" should not have been mixed with any other dive activities. Period. At most, the instructor should have focused on the two "Discover" customers exclusively. Discover Scuba customers are not even students and require constant attention by the professional for the very reason that occurred in this situation; someone was having a problem (equalizing) then someone distant had a problem. How can the instructor watch two people who are not together.
Apparently the instructor was supposed to keep track of everybody. If so, once dad and son surface a Discover customer is alone. This is a bad situation. The other guy just made it worse because he created an aditional distraction.
The real astonishing part is that no one panicked and as a result nothing serious came of it. Kudos to you SueJ for keeping your wits about you.