A blonde joke

[aussie_shark_bait]

Two blondes living in Oklahoma are sitting on the front porch talking when one says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away -- Florida or the moon?"
The other turns to her and says, "Hellooooooooo?? Can you SEE Florida?"

ASB

 

[Scuba_Jenny]

:rofl:

 

[gehadoski]

That was so funny. I like it. I can't stop laughing.

 

[NOVIZWHIZ]

Here's one - but not a joke....

KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of Shanks WV, was visiting her in-laws and while she was there she went out to a nearby Food Land to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid. Linda is a blonde, but I'm certain that's not relevant.

 

[Parrothead_Diver]

Here's one - but not a joke....

KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of Shanks WV, was visiting her in-laws and while she was there she went out to a nearby Food Land to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid. Linda is a blonde, but I'm certain that's not relevant.

Sorry to disappoint you, but this is an urban legend.
Exploding Biscuits

 

[CathyI8205]

Here's one - but not a joke....

KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)

I always love that story!

 

[leo311]

A duck walks into a gas station. The duck looks up at the guy behind the counter and asks "do you have any grapes?"
The guy says no and the duck turns around and walks out.
A week later, the duck walks back in, looks up at the same guy.
"do you have any grapes?"
The guy says "no, we don't sell grapes, this is a gas station."
The duck leaves.
Another week later, the duck walks back in, looks up at the same guy again asking...
"do you have any grapes?"
The guy's angry; "no, we don't sell grapes, this is a gas station. I told you that last week. If you come in here again asking for grapes, I'm gona nail your beak to the counter."
The duck leaves.
The very next day, same duck, same gas station, same guy...
"do you have any nails?"
"NO, we don't have any nails."
"do you have any grapes?"