2010 Spring Megadive Thread

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OP
Tao of the Dive

Tao of the Dive

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But my tanks have custom mix on them...you see, i dive one part milk chocolate, one part skim milk, and one part nitrox... I call it chocitrox. Best part, no post dive munchies! Weight gain, thats another matter. Not for hte lactose intolerant. Otherwise, bubbly wetsuits may occur.
 
OP
Tao of the Dive

Tao of the Dive

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Yes, I hear chocolate can be toxic at depth, but I've built up an immunity...
 

Scuba_Jenny

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IF Chocolate were toxic at depth, it's all the more reason to eat it at the surface! :)
Careful DMHO is toxic at depth too! http://www.dhmo.org/ :shock: !!
 

DEEPSEAWOLF

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The backdraft is toxic on surface intervals, and explosive near the firepit!
 

marchand

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I vote budweiser...
 

UCFKnightDiver

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I vote Killians, is that an option?
 

scubafool

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Tao, since we last met, I have taken the Solo Kegdiver class from DWI, and I should get my card in the mail any day now.

If you have ever dreamed of breaking free from the constraints of buddy drinking and diving, of taking your lushisness to the next level, than this is the course for you. You will stagger away with a new sense of alcohol-induced bravado and false confidence, and you will truly knowthat you are ten feet tall and bulletproof.

I don't wish to mislead you, this is NOT an easy class. There are many risks involved with Solo Keg Diving, and the curricula was obviously designed to educate as to the risks, as well as methods of mitigating them. The reg clearing after vomiting drills, underwater keg tapping practice, proper stowing of the hose when not in use, bouyancy swings as the keg empties, what to do when you start seeing double, catheter condom blow-off issues, all of these and many more you have to demonstrate mastery of.

One of the biggest changes that you have to accept is the complete departure from the standard long hose. I fought it at first, but eventually my instructor got me to see reason. Really, why use a 7' hose when you don't have a buddy to donate to in an OOB emergency? Which leads me to redundancy. My instructor's assistant carried a tiny little keg, the size you see in grocery and beverage store's beer coolers that you vent to the open air. He had an adaptor that he could attach to his CO2 tank that would allow him to pressurize it in case his main keg failed catastrophicly. He showed me his numbers, and it theoretically could get him to the top without sobering up, but I don't know if I would trust my inebriation to that small of a reserve. For now, I am looking into a pony keg of Rolling Rock.

My instructor was the greatest. You read on the web about these wannabe guys that have basically bought their instructor creds, that aren't dedicated to their addictions. I was worried that my guy might be one of those, since his name isn't talked up on every board. But let me tell you, he gunned down a six pack as we were saying hello in the parking lot, and just barely managed to make it back to his van before he started getting the shakes. His dive gear is crammed into a tiny corner, with a serious cooling system and a gigantic beer tank taking up the rest of the back. Underwater, he uses a reg that feeds him a combination of air and beer, so he doesn't have to keep swapping a reg for a beer hose. This guy is seriously hard core, without being conceited. I can only hope to emulate him one day.

The training was rigorous, to say the least. Up at 5 AM, nursing a killer hangover, which was treated with Hair of the Dog therapy. This was followed at 6 AM by a brief of the morning dive plan, gear prep, checking keg and CO2 tank levels, recalculating alcohol percentages, etc. In the water doing final flow tests by 7. One of the most memorable moments is when my instructor relieved me of my keg and made me swim 100 feet to a safety keg. I started out the swim with a pretty good wobble, but by the time I reached it, I was swimming in an almost straight line. As any experienced kegdiver knows, swimming straight is a sign of sobriety, and would have been an automatic fail.

My graduation dive was crazy. The dive was a deep one, to 120', using multiple kegs that were hung on a downline. There were travel kegs, 4.5% alcohol, hung every 10 feet, that you had to drink from, then drop down to the next one in line. This was so your main carry keg would have enough beer to get you through the 10 minute bottom time. The tricky part was that there were also decompression mixes in kegs attached to the downline as well, with really high alcohol percentages, as much as 10%, all mixed in with the travel kegs. You have to be careful, as a big swallow of that stuff would really cause you to get woozy at depth.

Anyway, I got to depth without mishap. Everything was going great, my swig pattern was really smooth, I was grinning like a drunken fool. Then it all fell apart. I felt a tug at my right side, and the hose was yanked from my mouth midswig. I reached back, and realized that someone had "borrowed" my main keg. No problem, I had practiced for just this eventuality. I reached down to my left Dring for my backup beer dispenser, but it was gone as well!!

I finned in a sharp circle, looking around and evaluating my options. I could do an immediate ascent, and hope to catch the upline with it's array of beer. Or I could chase my instructor's assistant, who was swimming off with my keg. He was closer, much closer, with a mix that I KNEW was safe for the depth, so I opted to swim him down. I gained on him rather quickly, but as I caught up to him, I saw that the hose was broken off of the top of my keg, and beer was spewing out in a golden stream. I snatched it away from him, and immediately tried to reattach the hose. It didn't take me long to realize that I wasn't going to get it back on. What to do? Time and beer were both running out. In a moment of inspired brilliance, I wrapped both my legs and arms around my keg and started sucking in the free flowing stream from the jagged end of the hose. The rapidly emptying keg became bouyant, and together we floated gently toward the surface.

My instructor and his assistant met me there several minutes later, as they had to collect the travel and safety kegs on their way up. They both congratulated me on keeping my cool and thinking my way through the situation. Turns out, the broken hose was NOT part of the plan, but my instructor let the drill run it's course to see how well I would deal with it.

Now that I am back home, I am sticking with the various light beers for a few days. But already I am eyeing that keg of dark stout in the corner, and making plans for DWI Solo Kegdiver II, so that I too can scooter with multiple stage kegs.
 

jeandiver

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I mean, it's not like I used to be called KegDiver or anything.

I can see that too :D

Hey , how about a keg of Diet Coke???
(waits...)

Beano

P.S. I just read your above post about Solo Keg Diving...Good thing I wasn't sipping DC , or I would have shot it out my nose :rofl3:
YOU TURKEY !!!!

P.P.S. I have some spare regs and hoses you COULD hook up to the keg this weekend... Let me know :rofl3:
 
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