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This was actually the one dude. His name was Steve. Everyone told him that closed circuit rebreathers were more than 2000 years away, but Steve always followed his own way. And went hypercapnic from rebreathing his own dolmas burps out of a goat stomach. And died. Because he was a...

UNCLEAN!!!! <iframe src="Invasion Of The Body Snatchers Someone GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY" width="480" height="480" frameBorder="0" class="giphy-embed" allowFullScreen></iframe><p><a href="">via GIPHY</a></p>

In-humor? Wait... DUDE! You've never seen Airplane? Surely you can't be serious?

You seem to understand what’s going on when you don’t. My dude wasn’t saying what you thought he was. He was being tongue in check. Just like when I pulled a line from Airplane. Which went over your head. As airplanes, by definition, are wont to do.

Everyone knows that if you breath nitrox as deep as 101 feet you catch fire.

As far as bronze-age Persians who were diving using a waxed goat stomach we a breathy bag, Aqualung was a latecomer. “Recent” doesn’t equal “wrong.” Message sent on an iPhone using cell towers and satellites that are in space., all all of which get firmware updates every fifteen minutes.

Two points here: The no-confidence vote- Way to maintain the stigma of DCS. The truth of it is that you either know divers who have been bent, but won’t talk about it because of the stigma, or you haven’t been diving long enough. (Or neither you or anyone in your sphere dive anywhere near...

Wait.... Just.......... Seriously, hold up........ You can dive using air? Sounds gross.

One of my favourite bits of dialog from any movie ever is from Animal Crackers. It's an old Marx Brother's movie. Groucho, as Captain Geoffrey T. Spaulding is talking to Roscoe W. Chandler, famous art patron, about building a new opera house near Central Park in Manhattan. Groucho suggests...

What you want to do is understand why your computer is telling you what it wants you to do. So that if it tells you some dumb ****, it piques your attention.

Yes and no. I do it occasionally. When I care. As an informed prediction of what my computer is probably going to say. If it's a question of "I don't want to do any deco because I'm lazy or cold or need to get home early," then I'll keep an eye on it to keep deco to non-existent or, at...

Lamentably, I am only a lowly normal instructor. One day, though… as long as I can dare to dream.

You couldn't even tee me up with "Surely that confused you?"

It's a system of measurment that's used everywhere else on the planet but the US. But that's not important right now.

Yeah man... I just dive a computer. Several of them. I have a couple of little tricks that help me estimate what the computer is going to say along with enough experience to ballpark it. Including modified versions of the rule of 130 for planned decompression. I've done dives with hours of...

Oh, One day I’ll work up to having your vast well of experience. In the meantime I’ll just have to go about diving and teaching at cave and technical levels nearly every day of my life, making something of a successful living running my own dive operation for years and years. Hopefully that...

Random hypotheticals about a barely understood theory trump widely used practical experience. Got it.

Joe Dituri tells a great parable: If you ask a brand new open water diver what DCS is they'll probably say, "I dunno, it's got something to do with bubbles." If you as an open water instructor, they'll rattle off the list of stay in NDLs, don't ascend to fast, don't get on a plane. If you ask a...

Yes, it is an obscure, narrow, off-the-wall, nearly-unheard-of example... that I do nearly every day of my life.

If I'm partway into the deep portion and my average depth, right now, is 50 feet... if I turned, right now, when I got back to the surface my average depth would be 50 feet. When I get to the deep portion and dig on whatever there was I went there to see and find that my average depth, right...