miketsp
Contributor
Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?
Customer: Hi I'd like to place an order.
Op.: I must have your NIDN first sir.
Cust.: Yeah, hold on, it's 6102049998-45-54610.
Op.: Thank you Mr Sheehan, I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive and your home phone number 494-2366 matches the caller
id. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your mobile is 2666 2566. Your main e-mail address is eehan@home.net.
Cust.: Huh, where'd you get all this?
Op.: We're wired into HSS sir.
Cust.: HSS?
Op.: Homeland Security System, sir. Don't worry this will only add an average of 15 seconds to the total ordering time.
Cust.: Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-meat Special pizzas.
Op.: Well I don't think that's a good idea sir.
Cust.: Why not?
Op.: Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got high blood pressure and very high cholesterol. Your medical insurance won't allow such an unhealthy choice.
Cust.: What do you recommend then?
Op.: You might try our low-fat Soybean pizza, I'm sure you'll like it.
Cust.: Why do you say that?
Op.: Well you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' on your local library card last week sir.
Cust.: All right, all right, give me 2 family sized ones then.
Op.: Yes, that should be plenty for you, your wife and your 4 kids. There should even be some left over for your 2 dogs.
Cust.: Let me give you my credit card number.
Op.: I'm sorry you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit balance is over your limit.
Cust.: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.
Op.: That won't work either sir. Your checking account is overdrawn also.
Cust.: Never mind, just send the pizzas, I'll find the cash. How long will it take?
Op.: Well we're running a little behind sir it'll take about 45 minutes. You might want to pick them up while you're out getting the cash, but then again carrying pizzas on a motorbike can be awkward.
Cust.: Hey, how do you know I ride a bike?
Op.: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments but your Harley is paid for and you filled the tank earlier today.
Cust.: Well I'll be a &%$@#*&%!!!
Op.: Sir, I'd advise watching your language, you've already got a conviction for cussing out a cop on July 4th 2003 and I see you've another one for contempt for cursing at a judge. Oh I see you just got out of a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your 1st pizza since you got out?
Cust.: (Speechless.)
Op.: Will there be anything else sir?
Cust.: Well I have a coupon for a free 2 liters of Coke.
Op.: I'm sorry but if you check the fine print the ad's exclusionary clause prohibits us from offering free soda to diabetics. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.
Customer: Hi I'd like to place an order.
Op.: I must have your NIDN first sir.
Cust.: Yeah, hold on, it's 6102049998-45-54610.
Op.: Thank you Mr Sheehan, I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive and your home phone number 494-2366 matches the caller
id. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your mobile is 2666 2566. Your main e-mail address is eehan@home.net.
Cust.: Huh, where'd you get all this?
Op.: We're wired into HSS sir.
Cust.: HSS?
Op.: Homeland Security System, sir. Don't worry this will only add an average of 15 seconds to the total ordering time.
Cust.: Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-meat Special pizzas.
Op.: Well I don't think that's a good idea sir.
Cust.: Why not?
Op.: Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got high blood pressure and very high cholesterol. Your medical insurance won't allow such an unhealthy choice.
Cust.: What do you recommend then?
Op.: You might try our low-fat Soybean pizza, I'm sure you'll like it.
Cust.: Why do you say that?
Op.: Well you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' on your local library card last week sir.
Cust.: All right, all right, give me 2 family sized ones then.
Op.: Yes, that should be plenty for you, your wife and your 4 kids. There should even be some left over for your 2 dogs.
Cust.: Let me give you my credit card number.
Op.: I'm sorry you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit balance is over your limit.
Cust.: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.
Op.: That won't work either sir. Your checking account is overdrawn also.
Cust.: Never mind, just send the pizzas, I'll find the cash. How long will it take?
Op.: Well we're running a little behind sir it'll take about 45 minutes. You might want to pick them up while you're out getting the cash, but then again carrying pizzas on a motorbike can be awkward.
Cust.: Hey, how do you know I ride a bike?
Op.: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments but your Harley is paid for and you filled the tank earlier today.
Cust.: Well I'll be a &%$@#*&%!!!
Op.: Sir, I'd advise watching your language, you've already got a conviction for cussing out a cop on July 4th 2003 and I see you've another one for contempt for cursing at a judge. Oh I see you just got out of a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your 1st pizza since you got out?
Cust.: (Speechless.)
Op.: Will there be anything else sir?
Cust.: Well I have a coupon for a free 2 liters of Coke.
Op.: I'm sorry but if you check the fine print the ad's exclusionary clause prohibits us from offering free soda to diabetics. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.
