Wetsuits for fat, blobby, unathletic chair-sitters

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Javik

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Location
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Is there a source for wetsuits for those who are not perfectly athletic specimens of muscular fitness?


Seems like most wetsuits are size for the thin and trim. An "extra extra large" wetsuit does not necessarily have more girth around the belly. Instead it is sized for an elite athletic person of 0% bodyfat but also happens to be about 8ft tall.

I have an XXXL zipperless hooded neck-entry Rip Curl that is about 10 years old. I thought it might be more "roomy" inside, but no, it is so tight that it is nearly impossible to get into, without completely lubing my body and the inside of it, to slither into it. Without lubing it, my fingernails turn dark red and I am sweating hard struggling to pull on that tight neoprene. Then once it's on.... wow the legs are long, and the excess length bunches up around my knees...

I also have an XXL zipperless neck-entry Billabong Furnace Pro about 1 year old. It's not as tight as the Rip Curl, but it too is designed for really tall, thin athletic people. The chest area seems to be about 1-2 inches taller than me so water sloshes around in the top, and again the legs seem to be designed for an 8ft tall basketball player, with all the excess bunching up around my knees.

Maybe it's just something about how surf suits are designed vs other sports? If you surf, you MUST be an Adonis representative, and the wetsuits are sized accordingly.


I am a guy, about 5' 11"... and about 240-250 lbs... with apparently all of the excess concentrated in the region referred to as the beerguttius bellyius. I don't have large arms or legs, they're normal sized for a 5' 11" male human.

Usually I just end up getting a Large of whatever and squeezing into it, though seems like I could use a slit cut into the front of the suit, and a diamond wedge of extra material sewn in over the gut region.

Zipping up a rear zip suit is quite difficult when crossing the paunch region, and I keep wondering if I'm just going to end up tearing off the pull strap or derailing the zipper. Have jammed them on occasion, though didn't wreck it.


Meanwhile when I get in the water.... the beergut magically goes away and I become thinner. Not sure where it goes exactly but get horizontal in the water and I can now cinch the weight belt down more than it was on land and it's not uncomfortable. Maybe I'm not really fat but it's just bad slouching posture.

Yes, probably should lose some weight. However if I wear these tight belly crushing wetsuits long enough, it should squish the fat down flat. That's how it works, right?
 
(Whoops, apparently should have put this in "Exposure Suits" forum category... I did not see that before I posted this here. Can a moderator move to there?)
 
Take a look at the size charts for Bare. They make wetsuits for people, not surfers.
 
Some manufacturers make sizing for "regular", whatever that is, "short", and "tall". I'd look for one that makes "short". Henderson for one makes short sizes for folks that aren't as tall as the scales imply they might be. I love their Thermaxx suits. They're really stretchy which makes them easier to don & doff as well as move around in.
 
Try looking at dry suits. Seems like stock sizes for those are the exact opposite. Big midsections compared to the wetsuits I've been in.
 
Warm water or cold? If warm maybe consider some of the lava core or shark skin stuff. It comes in pants, full suits, vests, long sleeves etc. Not as much thermal protection as a wetsuit but many divers dive in it in layers.
 
fatty-3_3533299b.jpg


Sometimes you just need to go custom.
 

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