Two Hillbillies

[Mako Mark]

Two Hillbillies were having the blue plate special (Road Kill) at their favorite diner, when they heard this awful choking sound. They turned around to see a lady, a few bar stools down, turning blue from wolfing down a burger too fast. The first hillbilly said to the other, "Think we otta' hep?" "I reckon," said the second hillbilly.

The first hillbilly got up and walked over to the lady and asked, "Kin yew breathe?"

She shook her head no.

"Kin yew talk?" he asked.

She again shook her head no.

With that he helped her to her feet, lifted up her skirt and licked her on the butt. She was so shocked, she coughed up the obstruction and began to breathe, with great relief.

The first hillbilly turned back to his friend and said, "Funny how that there Hind Lick Maneuver works ever'time".

 

[simbrooks]

And there i was expecting them to wait for her to die to get some extra meat - i guess hillbillies arent cannibals though.

 

[The Kraken]

Mark,
Following the discussion in another thread about the Lance Armstrong joke being pulled from the board because it may offend the French, I'm going to HAVE to ask you to remove your post because my grandparents were from the mountains of north Georgia and I "MAY" be offended by the joke that could possibly refer to my grandparents in a disparaging light.

 

[Mako Mark]

Mark,
my grandparents were from the mountains of north Georgia and I "MAY" be offended by the joke that could possibly refer to my grandparents in a disparaging light.

Dont worry Kracken, this joke originally started with "two hillbillies from Awkinsaw......"

I am not exactly sure where "Awkinsaw" is, but I dont think it is in North Georgia.

To all others that read this thread, this joke in no way inferrs that Kracken has a mixed hillbilly heritage, would marry his cousin, chews tobacca, eats road kill or has ever performed the hind lick maneuver....

 

[Squashie]

Heck boys, I think that joke actually describes how my mom and dad first met... I seem to remember some story about how his actions made a lasting impression on her! :11ztongue

 

[The Kraken]

Watch it, Mark !!!! 3 day old possum is PRETTY DAMNED GOOD if ya cook it right!

 

[Mako Mark]

Watch it, Mark !!!! 3 day old possum is PRETTY DAMNED GOOD if ya cook it right!

Dont I know it.. My third ex wifes first cousins, brother in laws sisters, neices, grandma has a killer recipe.

 

[DA Aquamaster]

Well...if hillbillie jokes are ok, how about this one....

How to say 'I love you' in 25 languages.....

English
I Love You

Spanish
Te Amo

French
Je T'aime

German
lch Liebe Dich

Japanese
Ai ****e Imasu

Italian
Ti Amo

Chinese
Wo Ai Ni

Swedish
Jag Alskar

Alabama
Arkansas
Missouri
North Carolina
South Carolina
Georgia
Tennessee
Mississippi
Louisiana
West Virginia
Kentucky
and parts of Florida

Nice A_ _, Get in the truck

 

[skywalk234]

Got to love Hillbillie humor

 

[Afraid_of_Fish]

Italian
Ti Amo

Funny joke but in italian it's "T'amo" Because 'amo' begins with a vowel, so the words contract. Also, in French "je t'aime" means "i like you", 'i love you' is "J'adore tu".

i know, picky picky picky, and I missed the point of the joke, but I get annoyed with language errors easily.

Jess