The story of Foot Foot Foot, Foot Foot, and Foot

[TexasMike]

(this story was told by a very inebriated entertainer at an Irish pub last saturday night. And at a very fast clip at that. So as you read it, try to say it out loud as fast as you can with your version of an Irish brogue and you will see just how funny this little story can be.)


One fine summer day, three rabbits named Foot Foot Foot, Foot Foot, and Foot were sitting in their rabbit den. Foot Foot Foot and Foot Foot were the big rabbits and Foot was just a wee little critter.

While Foot Foot Foot,Foot Foot, and Foot were playing their rabbit games, Foot Foot looked at Foot Foot Foot and Foot and said, “I’m hungry!”

“So are we,” said Foot Foot Foot and Foot.

“But where can we get some food? “asked Foot of Foot Foot Foot and Foot Foot.

“I know,” said Foot Foot, “Foot Foot Foot and I can hop over the Farmer Brown’s cabbage patch. And after we eat, we can bring some back for you.”

Wee little baby Foot stamped his foot and said, “But I don’t want to stay here! I wanna go with you and Foot Foot Foot!”

“Now Foot,” said Foot Foot Foot, “Don’t make me put my foot down. You know that Foot Foot and I are bigger and faster and thus can get away from Farmer Brown.”

So finally, Foot agreed with Foot Foot and Foot Foot Foot that he would stay in the rabbit den and Foot Foot Foot and Foot Foot would go over and eat the cabbage.

Foot Foot Foot and Foot Foot hopped over the Farmer Brown’s garden and started munching happily away on the cabbage. The cabbage was very good and Foot Foot and Foot Foot Foot were very hungry.

All of a sudden there was a loud foot fall and Foot Foot Foot and Foot Foot ran and hid, thinking it was Farmer Brown with his shotgun coming to get them.

After it was quite, Foot Foot Foot and Foot Foot looked around the cabbage they were hiding behind.

“It’s just me!” said Foot, suprising Foot Foot Foot and Foot Foot.

“Foot, you are a very bad rabbit,” said Foot Foot Foot. “You know Foot Foot and I told you to stay home.

“I know,” said Foot, “but when I saw you happily munching on the cabbage, I said to myself, ‘I should go join my brothers Foot Foot Foot and Foot Foot and eat the cabbage too.’ “

“Well,” said Foot Foot to Foot Foot Foot, “Since he is already here, Foot might as well stay.”

“Yes, Foot Foot, you’re right” said Foot Foot Foot, “since Foot is already here, he can stay.”

So Foot Foot Foot, Foot Foot, and Foot again started munching happily away on the cabbage.

Then Foot Foot Foot heard a loud noise. “I see you rabbits! And this time I’ll get you for sure!” yelled Farmer Brown.

Foot Foot Foot yelled to Foot Foot and Foot, “Run for your lives Foot Foot and Foot!” and scrambled back towards the rabbit den.

Now since Foot Foot Foot and Foot Foot were the older and faster rabbits, they made it back to the den before Foot did. And right as Foot Foot Foot and Foot Foot thought Foot was going to make it, BLAM!! roared the shotgun.

After a bit, Foot Foot Foot and Foot Foot looked outside. To their sorrow, there was poor Foot lieing their dead, killed by Farmer Brown’s shotgun.

Foot Foot loooked at Foot Foot Foot and said, “we can’t just leave Foot there, Foot Foot Foot.”

“Quite right Foot Foot,” agreed Foot Foot Foot. “Let’s give Foot a proper rabbit burial.”

So Foot Foot Foot and Foot Foot dragged little foot to his favorite spot in the meadow and started digging. And they dug, and they dug, and they dug (remember Foot Foot Foot and Foot Foot don’t have opposable thumbs).

They were almost done covering Foot up when Foot Foot looks up a Foot Foot Foot and says, “All this work has made me hungry again. Come on Foot Foot Foot, let’s go back to the garden and eat more cabbage.”

“Foot Foot are you crazy?!?” exclaims Foot Foot Foot. “Can’t you see that we already have one Foot in the grave?”

 

[The Chairman]

They didn't put their best Foot forward...

If Foot commited suicide with Farmer Brown's shotgun, would he be guilty of shooting himself in the Foot?

If little Foot only had the front of his foot shot off, would he have required a toe-truck?

If Farmer Brown ate that poor dead rabbit, would he be considered to be putting his Foot in his mouth?

Or if used as a door stop, would you consider that getting your Foot in the door?

Isn't Foot Foot Foot's real name Feet???

Did Foot, Foot Foot, and Foot Foot Foot actually sleep on Futons???

Should we consider that whoever payed for little Foot's burial actually Footed the bill? Or did they bill the Foot Foot Foot?

If Farmer Brown had made moccasins out of poor little Foot, would we say he would be going around Hare-Footed???

One salient point not mentioned in the story was that Foot, Foot Foot, and Foot Foot Foot all had Hair lips, and that until poor little Foot's demise they also had a lot of little Foot Stools.

If Farmer Brown had missed Foot would we consider him de-feeted? Or would that be after he shot Foot, Foot Foot, and Foot Foot Foot??? Actually, I guess they would all have been de-feeted! As the old addage goes... Hair today, gone tomorrow! Please, don't make me re-feet myself.

 

[The Chairman]

I sincerely hope that none of my contentions are re-footed... (yeah, you HOPE thats the last one, Chester...)

 

[The Chairman]

Was he buried on Foot Hill???

He had a dim Foot-ure.

My, but that was certainly Foot for thought!

 

[TexasMike]

Pete,

You are definately a punster who is quick on his Foot Foot Foot....errr....feet.

 

[The Chairman]

I have been re-footed!

Very good Mr Mike!!!

 

[TexasMike]

(singing)
"Here comes Pete the NetDoc male,
Hopping down the punny trail..."

 

[The Chairman]

You started us down this hair raising bunny tale... In fact, you o-puned the flood gates. Just don't sue me for pun-itive damages... I try to let a story like that ri-pun on its own. This is truly getting bad... and to think you have de-punded on me to bring you mirth!

Some truly sad facts about NetDoc...

Favorite Explorer... Puns deLeon
Favorite Drink... Pun-ch
Favorite writing tool- uhuh... a puncil
Favorite saying... Old puns, says a me
Favorite Old TV show... The Flying Pun
Other favorite saying... Pun for all and all for pun!
Favorite Fairy Tale... Rapunzel
Favorite puppet show... Puns and Judy
Favorite rip-off... the Punzi scheme
Favorite State... Punsylvania


I'm going to sleep now lest I puntificate any further...

 

[Dee]

This looks as funny written out as it is to try to say! NetDoc has certainly taken the podiatrists award this time. And I'm not even going to try my foot at any punny funs.

 

[TexasMike]

Gee! What did I do to deserve such pun-ishment???