The care and feeding of a dive buddy

[Teamcasa]

While I never forget how fortunate I am to have my wife as a dive buddy, sometimes I read here where people use the term, “Find a new Buddy” all to frequently. To me, having a permanent or regular is truly a blessing but it does require work and most of all, real clear communication without recrimination. Frequent diving as a team will build trust and a innate sense of behavior. My wife has no trouble telling me what I did that she did not like after a dive. I also tell her things that I expect of her and most of the time I am left unscathed.


Here are a few examples of what we have learned about each other.

• She does not want to lead. She trusts my navigation and simply will not lead so don’t ask.
• She expects me to make eye contact when I check on her.
• She likes to dive in the kelp, but not when the surge is too heavy.
• She likes to take pictures, so check on her frequently.
• I video tape, she is fine with that and will stop and watch while I tape.
• I need to let her see what I was filming. Not just shoot the subject and swim off. Back off and point to the subject and let her see as well.
• Do not stop abruptly. Use hand signals. Do not stop in a place that leaves her in the midst of kelp.
• Don’t just swim around – stop from time to time and enjoy the scenery.

Above all, discuss the dive together, you will be amazed what you can learn.

 

[AbyssalPlains]

I agree - The "Find a new buddy" attitude is an overused, oversimplified formula. That's why I became certified as a solo diver.

 

[NadMat]

I don't so much find a new buddy as I find another buddy. That way I have several buddies when I am looking to go dive and hopefully I can find at least one to go. To become an ex or non buddy you have to screw up repeatedly and/or seriously to make me say 'I won't dive with you again', after all "Pobody's nerfect"

There are always a few buddies that seem to be favorites, those whose diving interests and style sync up well
and those are ones that go on top of list. Having an SO that dives and syncs with your diving well is great, but not everyone has it so lucky. As previous preferred buddies have become less available I have had to make more if I wanted to dive more. I do occasionally solo, but enjoy diving with a qualified buddy much more.

 

[TSandM]

I think one of the most valuable things I got from my DIR classes was the idea of a more or less mandatory debrief after a dive. Although I have to admit that we aren't absolutely reliable about doing this, at least we all know it's supposed to happen. Debriefing the dive can sometimes bring out areas where one teammate was uncomfortable or unhappy, when nobody else realized it; if you don't talk about it, you'll continue to do the same thing, and have an unhappy team member again and again.

Things like signals and positioning can be gone over before the dive, but subtleties like pacing, or what each team member really wants to spend time looking at, are rarely covered ahead of time. But making sure they fit everybody can really enhance a dive.

I need to let her see what I was filming. Not just shoot the subject and swim off. Back off and point to the subject and let her see as well.

This is one of my pet peeves about diving with photographers!

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

I've noticed there's a distinctly different dynamic when diving with someone you're involved in a relationship with. Cheng, for example, doesn't "debrief" after a dive ... and I've learned not to even try ... it never turns out well. Instead, I'll read her dive log afterward (sometimes she insists on it), see the dive through her eyes, and "compare notes".

I've got a young couple in AOW right now that I've had to discuss dive buddy dynamics with a few times. What it boils down to is that when you're underwater, you've got to forget you're a couple and remember you're a team. With dive buddies who are couples (or even family members) it's often easiest to define roles before the dive, and work on building a trust relationship around those roles.

It's also helpful to reverse roles from time to time ... not just so you can get a perspective on how the other person is seeing the dive, but because it avoids creating a dependent diver, which is real common among couples who dive together.

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[Teamcasa]

.. Debriefing the dive can sometimes bring out areas where one teammate was uncomfortable or unhappy, when nobody else realized it; if you don't talk about it, you'll continue to do the same thing, and have an unhappy team member again and again.

Things like signals and positioning can be gone over before the dive, but subtleties like pacing, or what each team member really wants to spend time looking at, are rarely covered ahead of time. But making sure they fit everybody can really enhance a dive.

Exactly right.

I need to let her see what I was filming. Not just shoot the subject and swim off. Back off and point to the subject and let her see as well.

This is one of my pet peeves about diving with photographers!

I learned that lesson learned the hard way!

 

[Dzscubie]

Casa, I'm like you and very lucky that my dive buddy is my best friend and my wife. I have also learned that we are very compatable underwater as long as I understand the rules:

#1 - What Linda (my wife) says is what we will do.
#2 - If Linda is happy, I will be happy.
#3 - If Linda is unhappy, then I will be unhappy.
#4 - If Linda is unhappy long enough, then I will be unhappy with half my dive gear.
#5 - If in doubt, refer to #1

This pretty much explains the rules of our diving..... Right Linda?

Shawn
"bubble...bubble...bubble"

 

[Dr Neil]

I've had the same consistent dive buddy for 10 years. My son & I were certified together and it's almost second nature when we dive together. We know each others moves and what we each like to do on a dive.

He has learned that dad likes to start-stop-turn without notice. He also painted the bottom of our tanks glow in the dark green so he can keep track of me.

Bottom line, since dad still pays, dad rules. Seriously, it's the best money I've ever spent & I'll gladly continue to pay fo this great father/son time.

Now, if I could only have half the talent he has when it comes to dive skills, we would be even.

 

[Teamcasa]

I've noticed there's a distinctly different dynamic when diving with someone you're involved in a relationship with. .[snip]
It's also helpful to reverse roles from time to time ... not just so you can get a perspective on how the other person is seeing the dive, but because it avoids creating a dependent diver, which is real common among couples who dive together.

You may be right to some extent Bob, but I doubt my wife would dive if I did not dive with her. She is a very good diver in her own right but diving for her is an activity we do together.
I will say that when were in Hawaii and I had to come up early with my brother, she stayed for 30 more minutes with the DM. She liked that a lot.

Dzscubie, I totally agree with your rule set, especially #2 and #3!

 

[swifttank]

That's why I'm glad the GF likes bubble watching, fishing and getting sun more than diving. I like mixing it up, whether it be hunting, or sight seeing, I have buddies for each. It's what I like about living in FL, and part-timing at the LDS.