Temper and diving?

[NeMEed]

So I'm just starting to dive. My sister (twin) is going to be getting her OW cert. in the beginning of December. Now, I think it's a great idea for her to dive as well! That way, we can dive together when we are both more experienced! We have a very non-verbal way of communication and people say it's like we can read each others minds lol so I think underwater communication would go much smoother between us and we enjoy hanging together.

The problem is, my father also wants to start diving. He's already talked to the scuba shop and is setting up when he can take the class in January. I don't have a problem with that really, as long as he isn't diving with me.

I know that sounds cold, but the thing is I wouldn't feel safe to dive with him. He has a very short fuse and gets frustrated/angry fast with disagreements or tough situations. So I am worried if there was any problems underwater how he'd react to it.

Do you guys find people with short fuse's are a big danger underwater?
If so...any suggestions on convincing him that divings not for him?
Would you talk to the instructor he gets in this situation? Or just stay out of it and let them find out themselves?

 

[rjack321]

Stay out of it for now. Honestly you don't have an unbiased experience (you have pluses and minuses) Let the instructor teach, if its a major issue it will be apparent and they can discuss it in class.

After class you need to do some trial dives to see how you mesh with your dad as a buddy. And hard as it might be you'll have to give and honest appraisal of each other afterwards. I'd say give him the benefit of the doubt for now, people can be completely different above water from below (or on the internet . He may or may not even finish the class so why stress about it now.

 

[NeMEed]

Stay out of it for now. Honestly you don't have an unbiased experience (you have pluses and minuses) Let the instructor teach, if its a major issue it will be apparent and they can discuss it in class.

After class you need to do some trial dives to see how you mesh with your dad as a buddy. And hard as it might be you'll have to give and honest appraisal of each other afterwards. I'd say give him the benefit of the doubt for now, people can be completely different above water from below (or on the internet . He may or may not even finish the class so why stress about it now.

That's true. That's one of the things I was wondering.....are people the same below the water as above?

I'd love to dive with him, I'm just worried about how he would handle an emergency situation. But I guess that goes with most dive buddies. You never know until (god forbid) you have an emergency right?

He's planning his class in January, so it's not soon, which is good. I guess letting the instructor handle it is the best.

 

[Bill Fisher]

For myself, I would say that my fuse was extremely shorter before I started diving.

Once I started diving (age 30) I believe that it turned out to be a very positive thing in my life. I can't do it as often as I'd like...but such is life.

Give the 'ol man a chance. Explain to him why you are hesitant on diving with him. And most of all, attend the class with him and see how he is in the class.

If he's out of control in the class, and on the certification dives, at least you know you gave him a chance.

Bill

 

[TSandM]

I'm with rjack. Let the instructor figure out if his temper is enough out of control to be an issue. (Sometimes people can be very short-tempered with family members, but well-controlled in other settings.)

If your father completes his OW cert, it is your choice whether to dive with him or not, and that's much more of a family/relationship issue than it is a diving problem. When I was first certified, I didn't dive with my husband for quite a while, because we had issues on how each of us wanted the dives to work, and we couldn't agree. It did cause some friction, but over time, we've worked stuff out, and now we do dive together and generally without trouble.

 

[diver 85]

So I'm just starting to dive. My sister (twin) is going to be getting her OW cert. in the beginning of December. Now, I think it's a great idea for her to dive as well! That way, we can dive together when we are both more experienced! We have a very non-verbal way of communication and people say it's like we can read each others minds lol so I think underwater communication would go much smoother between us and we enjoy hanging together.

The problem is, my father also wants to start diving. He's already talked to the scuba shop and is setting up when he can take the class in January. I don't have a problem with that really, as long as he isn't diving with me.

I know that sounds cold, but the thing is I wouldn't feel safe to dive with him. He has a very short fuse and gets frustrated/angry fast with disagreements or tough situations. So I am worried if there was any problems underwater how he'd react to it.

Do you guys find people with short fuse's are a big danger underwater?
If so...any suggestions on convincing him that divings not for him?
Would you talk to the instructor he gets in this situation? Or just stay out of it and let them find out themselves?

The good news is it's hard to argue UW(much) although it can be done.i witnessed our 2 sons have an argument on a fish I.D. one time @ G. Cayman........funny as all get out...btw, the younger one was correct per videographer after the dive(fish in dispute was caught on tape & I.D.'ed by videographer in Parrot's Landing while we were viewing the tape post dive)

 

[rjack321]

That's true. That's one of the things I was wondering.....are people the same below the water as above?

I'd love to dive with him, I'm just worried about how he would handle an emergency situation. But I guess that goes with most dive buddies. You never know until (god forbid) you have an emergency right?

You can (actually should) practice air sharing and such after class. I can virtually guarantee that the first few won't go very smoothly. That would give you a chance to see how your dad is with you and your sister post-class, in the water, and during a couple of shallow lower risk fumbles.

Until then hopefully you can just sit in on his class and see what he's like with the other divers and his instructor.

 

[Mark Vlahos]

My mother was a twin, so I get the communication thing with your sister.

As far as your father, or any potential buddy is concerned you will need to be aware and take it as it comes. Many people, myself included, find diving extremely focusing and relaxing at the same time. In the case of your father you just might find that while he still has a short temper the rest of the time, diving may provide a focus that distracts your fathers temper. I would suggest that you give him a chance, but do your best to control the larger situation. The first time you go diving make sure that you dive in an area where you are familiar with the dive site, and boat. Try to have that area be new to your father, this will place you in a position of control. Make sure that the dive plan is extremely conservative and not filled with things that can light the fuse on that short temper. Make sure that you allow more than enough time to get the rental gear, and all of the other tasks that might set off his temper. Show him that he can trust you to manage the diving, hopefully this will remove at least some of his stress. For his entire life he has needed to provide for you, show him that at least in this situation he can relax and let you assume the leadership role.

If things don't workout just let him know that while you still care for him, you are not prepared to dive with him unless he is safe in the water, and his temper is a factor that directly effects your personal safety.

Mark Vlahos

 

[NeMEed]

THanks for the replies!

I guess I'll let his instructor figure out if he's ok to dive. Hopefully he is ok, and I would like to dive with him sometime. So I guess we will just see if he get's through the course and maybe dive with him, like you guys suggested, in a shallower dive and practice some skills and see how it goes from there. ^_^

 

[NeMEed]

My mother was a twin, so I get the communication thing with your sister.

As far as your father, or any potential buddy is concerned you will need to be aware and take it as it comes. Many people, myself included, find diving extremely focusing and relaxing at the same time. In the case of your father you just might find that while he still has a short temper the rest of the time, diving may provide a focus that distracts your fathers temper. I would suggest that you give him a chance, but do your best to control the larger situation. The first time you go diving make sure that you dive in an area where you are familiar with the dive site, and boat. Try to have that area be new to your father, this will place you in a position of control. Make sure that the dive plan is extremely conservative and not filled with things that can light the fuse on that short temper. Make sure that you allow more than enough time to get the rental gear, and all of the other tasks that might set off his temper. Show him that he can trust you to manage the diving, hopefully this will remove at least some of his stress. For his entire life he has needed to provide for you, show him that at least in this situation he can relax and let you assume the leadership role.

If things don't workout just let him know that while you still care for him, you are not prepared to dive with him unless he is safe in the water, and his temper is a factor that directly effects your personal safety.

Mark Vlahos

That is a really good point! And by the time he get's his OW cert. I will (hopefully) have a few more dives under my belt. That way I'll maybe have an idea where to go that I'm familiar with and he's not, but is still an easier dive. Thanks for the suggestions! That's really helpful. I think as long as I can get everything low stress, and take charge of all the necessary equipment and planning, I think he should be ok, providing he passes the OW of course.