Stupidest Criminal...

[matt81]

Nothing is funnier than a stupid criminal, right?

There was a case where a burglar fell asleep on the bed, in the house,
with the couple whose house he was robbing. It sounds crazy, but it's a
true story. The folks at The Smoking Gun are having a funny award for
this year's "Stupidest Criminal", so I thought to start a thread here
to see if there were any good stories out there that we can submit to
their editors (long-shot but hey, you never know!!) In case you want to
check it out the show (it's called The Smoking Gun Year End Special),
it's going to air next Thursday night, I believe at 10pm. These guys
can be pretty hilarious so it's worth taping in case you aren't going
to be home.

Matt

 

[dlndavid]

Hi Matt,
Welcome to SB and thanks for the viewing tip.

 

[NOVIZWHIZ]

I liked the video of the guy that tried to throw a concrete block through a PLEXIGLASS window. It bounced off, hit the guy in the face and knocked him out...he was still there when the cops arrived.

Then there was the burglar that was running from the cops through the woods at night and he was wearing the running shoes with the lights in the heel...couldn't figure out how they were able to catch him.

 

[Quarrior]

When I was a teenager in Tucson, I participated in a ride-along program with the Sheriff's department one night.

While driving around in the outskirts of town we saw the glow of a fire in the desert and decided to check it out. Upon reaching the spot where the fire was, we found to males prancing around the fire in the nude. Since they were both drunk and near the fire, they did not see us coming, but, as soon as we made our presence known, they took off running.

I chased one down pretty easily and he stopped quickly. As we were walking back to the fire, we heard the most blood curtling scream I have heard.

Both of us decided to go check it out. It seemed that in his haste to get away from the Deputy, the other "prancer" ran smack into a Barrel cactus about wait high.

For those of you that are familiar with the desert around Tucson, you know of these cacti, they are covered with very sharp and very stron needles which have a hook on the end.

Well, as soon as the Deputy stopped laughing enough, he called for the Paramedics. Upon their arrivial, they too started laughing, but were able to maintain themselves well enough to extract the poor man from the cactus.

From the criminal standpoint, this was a minor offense. It is illegal to have a fire out there mainly due to the hazard of it spreading. Usually these fires are part of was known as a booney party, where the teenagers when to party.

That was the first of several that turned into a rather entertaining Friday night. We also had someone that robbed a 7-11 and left his wallet behind when he took off on foot. So, the Deputy's drove to the robbers house and were waiting for him when he returned.

 

[miketsp]

There was an old story about Ronald Biggs, before he became one of the original "Great Train Robbers" in the UK some 40 years ago, I think it was in 63.
Anyway he broke into a railway station with a mate and they tried to open the safe, which they couldn't, so they left.
Anyway a few hours later he realised he'd left his newspaper on top of the safe. At that time in the UK, the newsagent would write your address on the top corner of the paper for the delivery boy.
So they had to go back and break in again to recover the newspaper!

 

[DepartureDiver]

Ever watch the show America's Dumbest Criminals? I haven't seen it for awhile but it cracked me up.

 

[Fly N Dive]

those stories are so funny! :rofl: what channel is the show going to be on?

 

[Parrothead_Diver]

Yesterday a guy was spotted in the parking lot of my office breaking into cars. Our security guards were watching him with the cameras while waiting for the local PD to show up. The best part is that just before the PD showed up he went over to the security shack, pushed open the window and started looking for things to take. Then he noticed the three uniformed security gaurds watching him and took off running, right into the hood of the police car that had just pulled up in the driveway.

 

[Reeveseye]

My department had a case about ten years ago that's still at the top of my list.

It's the night shift at a local Circle K/7-11 type convenience store when our would-be robber walks in. He puts a $20 bill down on the counter and asks for some change. When the clerk opens the register, the crook pulls out a gun and demands all the money in the cash drawer. The clerk gives him the entire contents of the till - fifteen dollars - and the crook runs out, leaving the $20 on the counter.

So we were left with a robbery where the victim ended up five dollars richer!

 

[Quarrior]

My department had a case about ten years ago that's still at the top of my list.

It's the night shift at a local Circle K/7-11 type convenience store when our would-be robber walks in. He puts a $20 bill down on the counter and asks for some change. When the clerk opens the register, the crook pulls out a gun and demands all the money in the cash drawer. The clerk gives him the entire contents of the till - fifteen dollars - and the crook runs out, leaving the $20 on the counter.

So we were left with a robbery where the victim ended up five dollars richer!

That's tooo funny. Thanks for sharing.