Shark Jokes!!!

[vicdiver656]

Ok, a friend showed me this the other day, and I had to pass it on to you guys. Here's the catch, though. You guys have to post a joke or a funny pic that's dive related! Have fun, and here's my pic!!

 

[dive bandit]

Here's one!

 

[mike_s]

 

[sandmanz32]

This fellow has owned a home on a large bayfront property in Marathon for several years. He built a nice beach set up with picnic tables, horse shoe courts and a beach volleyball court. The beach was perfect for swimming. One evening on his way down to his beach, as he neared the water, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he got closer, by the full moon light, he saw group of young women skinny dipping. He whistled to make the women aware of his presence and they all went out to deeper water. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man replied, "That's OK, I didn't come down here to watch you ladies skinny dipping, I just came to feed my sharks!"

 

[sandmanz32]

One day two brothers, Jack & John decide to go out diving for seafood.

They quickly manage to fill up a sack of seafood so Jack decides to take it back to shore & grab another sack to fill.

John is out at sea all by himself when he see's a shark coming towards him.

Frantically he calls out to his brothr Jack who is still at shore, "Bro Help me Help me there is a shark heading straight for me."

Jack calls back "Yeah Im coming bro"

John is freaking out, the shark swims right up to him & bites off his leg.

Again he is calling out to Jack who is still at the shoreline "Bro come and help me, the sharks bitten off one of my legs.

Jack yells back "yeah hold on Im coming!!"

John tries to stay calm and wait for his brother but then the shark bites off one of his arms.

He yells back to his brother Jack "Hurry!! Come and help me the shark has bitten off my arm and my leg."

Jack calls back "Hold on Im coming!!!"

Then the shark bites off his other leg, John yells "Jack you have to come & save me. The shark has bitten off both my legs and an arm."

And as usual Jack replies. "Just wait Im coming"

The shark then bites off Johns other arm.

Now John has no arms or legs.

His brother finally arrives to save him.

Come on bro, get on my back & I will swim you back to shore.

When they get to the shoreline Jack says with an exhausted sigh "I feel screwed"

And John replies "Well I had to hold on some how!!!

 

[sandmanz32]

 

[sandmanz32]

 

[k8brandt]

I love that one! Reminds me of my late sheltie. "Just through the ball mom!"