Satire on a thousand ways to die

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divezonescuba

Contributor
Scuba Instructor
Divemaster
Messages
2,017
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Location
Houston, Texas
# of dives
1000 - 2499
I frequently see posts by divers that if some other diver does something in particular that they are in effect going to be injured or die or whatever. An example of this is the use of a non-one piece webbing harness. I am not aware of anyone who has actually been injured or died because of the use of a non-one piece webbing harness yet some insist it must be done to dive safely.

In good jest, I am interested in making a satire on this concept to the tune of "A thousand ways to die". It is not meant to be taken seriously, but I am sure that it will still offend some. It will be posted to my dive zone scuba youtube channel.

Since it is suppose to be a satire, I will not address serious things that could actually injure or cause you to die like using steel deco or stage bottles al la Andre Smith or diving without a functional inflator.

Copywrite infringement issues aside, I am interested in different subjects that would fall under this category. Here is my initial list.

Using split fins
Not using a one piece webbing harness
Only using one waist buckle
Using a redundant bladder
Using a releasable shoulder strap
Using an adjustable shoulder strap
Using a harness with shoulder padding
Using a bladder rated for both single and double tanks.
Using a swivel on a hose
Using an AI transmitter
Not using a pressure gage with an AI transmitter
Using a bladder with more than minimal lift
Diving without a buddy
Using an octo inflator Air 2
Using a pouch on your waist belt
Using a purge mask
Diving without a dry suit


I would like to add to the list.
 
Using the shoulder pull dump associated with your Air 2 (this is often cited as a corollary death wish to having the Air 2 to begin with).
 
Solo diving used to be, but lots of people do it now.
Wearing silvery color is another perilous choice.
 
using a yoke valve/reg below 130 feet.
Selecting a pony bottle that weighs less than your elementary school-aged child.
You forgot a snorkel! ???
Using a gage console that houses a pressure gage, computer and compass.
Using a plastic instead of SS buckle on harness
Taking a sudafed before a nitrox dive
Diving a PP of 1.5 ATM oxygen
 
https://www.shearwater.com/products/swift/

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