(Satire) Local Diver Survives Ordeal At Destin Jetties

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Location
In a State Park, on the coast of Florida
# of dives
DESTIN, Florida (AP) -- Area divers feared for the worst yesterday when a local scuba celebrity failed to report after his weekly dive at the Destin jetties.

The man was last known to be diving around the East Pass Jetty with some friends. Reports suggested that he, a female diver, and another male diver were to meet there about 8 am.

Dives usually last about an hour, starting from a well known swimming area out past and around the short barrier of stones to a marker known as the "anchor". Here the dives are usually turned, and then the divers make their way back to the entry point.

It was unclear if this dive plan had been followed.

The site is well known for it's heavy boat traffic. Both recreational and charter boats anchor along and just off the shore, causing concern among many beach goers for the safety of people in the water.

"I am often nervous about how close the boats get to the people in the water, they seem to think we should get out of thier way."

The diver, well known for his postings on an internet scuba forum is regarded as an expert on the local dive sites. He has become in some minds a bit of a celebrity.

"SeaYoda (the diver's persona on the internet) has been there to teach many of us about diving in Destin. His reports, often loaded with photographs of what he has seen have brought the sea life of NW FL to many who can't get there themselves."

Fear for his well being began when people looking for the report of his most recent dive found no entries since the day before he left for the dive.

"Of course I feared the worst. He is normally very prompt with his stories about where he went, and what he saw. When there was no report, I was sure a shark, or a boat got him. Or maybe that pony bottle of his exploded."

Concerns were alleviated when he finally responded to a post made by another new local legend. A recent transplant from MA, photohikedive.

"I had been tossing some friendly jabs at him in the forum, and when he didn't reply, I thought, uh oh, a dolphin got him. Those dolphins, they can be mean y'know."

Authorities were relieved that there was no need for further paperwork.

"We were just happy that this turned out the way it did. It doesn't always, there are puffer fish in these waters. Unpredictable they are, them puffers."
 
Reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated - you know the media :D.
 
They were doing something with the dredges on the bay end of the pass, maybe that's what caused the current on the first dive? NA-NA they missed me!
 
Spadefish, sharks, giant octopusses... Blah.. Now if there was a Mutant Giant BiColor damsel say 800 to 1100# THAT would be Scarey! - - Little suckers are mean.
 
Orlando Eric:
Spadefish, sharks, giant octopusses... Blah.. Now if there was a Mutant Giant BiColor damsel say 800 to 1100# THAT would be Scarey! - - Little suckers are mean.


or a voracious school of regular sized ones, on a day you didn't wear a skin.......
 
....comon guys, you've seen the pics.

Friggin crabs everywhere, they devour the evidence quickly too.
 

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