Sat out my first dive

[fruitrollup]

Hey guys! I’m a newer diver - 20 something dives under my belt. I have my advanced SDI cert with nitrox. I’ve dived locally and internationally in the past year. I recently sat out my first dive.

My husband I went out on a local charter, which we have done before. I always get very nervous before dives - a lot of my anxiety was related to setting up my gear on the boat but I’ve since practiced numerous times and feel much better about that part now, and we arrived to the boat earlier this time so I was able to set up at my own pace, which was actually fairly quick! However, when we entered the water, I was fine at first but shortly after my husband descended and met me, I started to feel short of breath and a little nervous. The visibility was a little less that I what I remember it being before, however, this was our first ocean dive since last dive season and my husband assures me the visibility is as it usually is so it may have just been me. Our first dive this season was in the springs so perhaps I was comparing it to that kind of clarity. I also feel like my buoyancy was a little off and I was initially kicking a little more than I needed to which tired me out. Anyways, I signaled that something was wrong and we ended up making our way to the mooring line and ascending.

I sat out the second dive - I just felt “off” that day and was even a little teary before we drove to the dive site - from nerves. I do get very nervous before dives but have learned to push thru nerves and I always do fine and end up very happy I dived! It’s usually pre-dive nerves and once I descend I’m pretty much ok.

My husband and the DM were supportive and both commended me on not panicking and safely ending the dive, and the DM suggested on the second dive that I take my time on the line establishing buoyancy and feeling ok before I explore the wreck but I just wasn’t feeling it.

I felt like crap for the rest of the day because I’ve never bailed on a dive or sat out a dive before, I feel like I ruined my husband’s dive when he lost his dive buddy, I felt like we wasted money, and I simply felt disappointed in myself.

I guess I’m looking to hear stories of people who are active divers who sat out after having an “off” day as I described it to my husband and DM. I know I can’t be the only one and I don’t know why I feel like such crap about it. Despite always being nervous this time I was just a different kind of nervous, not in quite the right mental state and I just trusted myself.

Also, if anyone could offer up any advice in general regarding nerves - usually I do push through them, but it really does suck to feel so nervous regardless, my husband feels way more excited and doesn’t have many nerves - but I do like diving and want to learn to enjoy it even more! I feel I need to change my mindset a bit - instead of being nervous the night before I should look forward to diving and think about the positives. No one is making me do it and I’m going to have fun.

Thank you for commiserating with me, I know I’m not the only one to sit out a dive but still go on to enjoy diving and have many successful dives, I suppose it just feels embarrassing and shameful to have done so but I’m going to try to move past it and change my mindset about my next dive.

 

[BoundForElsewhere]

Well, good on you for sharing that and thank you.
Personal secret... sometimes if I am nervous or anxious on the way to a dive I pretend I am a Navy Seal on an important mission. I transpose my anxiety off the dive and on to the mission but, for God and Country I'm a god-damn Navy Seal!! and won't let that hold me back. All the way down I keep that in my head.

Don't judge me.

 

[fruitrollup]

Well, good on you for sharing that and thank you.
Personal secret... sometimes if I am nervous or anxious on the way to a dive I pretend I am a Navy Seal on an important mission. I transpose my anxiety off the dive and on to the mission but, for God and Country I'm a god-damn Navy Seal!! and won't let that hold me back. All the way down I keep that in my head.

Don't judge

Thank you for this! I’ll have to attempt a more playful, light hearted mind set next time to combat some nerves!

 

[Marie13]

I’ve got over 450 dives, full cave certified, as well as certified on a rebreather last fall. I was doing an underwater archaeology class at a local quarry yesterday and bailed on the second dive. Viz was so bad on the first dive I could barely see my large bright wrist computer without bringing it almost against my mask. I didn’t do the second dive.

No shame in sitting out dives. I’ve paid for Great Lakes boat charters I’ve sat out dives on. I was taught the “you can call a dive at any time for any reason” during open water. That’s a big rule among tech divers that open water divers need to be taught more often.

You did fine.

If your hubby or other dive buddies have issues with you calling a dive, tell them they can go pound sand. Better for you to call a dive, either in the water or on the boat before the dive, than to have an issue in the water.

 

[fruitrollup]

I’ve got over 450 dives, full cave certified, as well as certified on a rebreather last fall. I was doing an underwater archaeology class at a local quarry yesterday and bailed on the second dive. Viz was so bad on the first dive I could barely see my large bright wrist computer without bringing it almost against my mask. I didn’t do the second dive.

No shame in sitting out dives. I’ve paid for Great Lakes boat charters I’ve sat out dives on. I was taught the “you can call a dive at any time for any reason” during open water. That’s a big rule among tech divers that open water divers need to be taught more often.

You did fine.

Thank you for this, this definitely makes me feel better. It’s very easy to beat yourself up about it and I don’t want to form a “complex” around this random event.

 

[davecampbell]

I wrote this in another thread...
I've called one dive, and been with my wife when she has called 2.
We were diving the Arabia in Tobermory (110 ish ffw) and right at the mooring block, I managed to turn my head, and pull the reg out of my mouth a bit, getting a lung full of water. After struggling to catch my breath, and dealing with some decent current, I just wasn't feeling it anymore. Thumbed the dive, headed up the line, and did a safety stop. I was fine once I calmed down, but that was a little too deep and cold to be messing about. Total dive time was like 9 mins.

My wife called one of the dives on our night diver course. It was in the lower Niagara River, vis was 3 ft and the river was moving quick. She just wasn't comfortable, so we thumbed the dive, and rescheduled with the instructor for the next week at a different site. No other reason necessary.

Finally, the most understandable case. While on "takeover" weekend in Tobermory, we went with a group of about 80 divers, and took over all the day charter boats. Right before our second dive of the morning (Niagara II) our boat leader was informed via radio that someone on one of the Open water boats had died while diving. She thought she was alright to dive, although upset. All geared up and standing on the platform, she started to cry, and declined the dive. She insisted I dive with a couple other buddies, while she hung on the boat with the captain. and I did...
I was incredibly proud she had the sense to not make the dive while feeling gloomy. She completed both dives that afternoon.

We follow the rule of no repercussions, and no hard feelings... no matter what. works well for us

 

[FishWatcher747]

What was the planned depth of the dive?

 

[fruitrollup]

@davecampbell thank you for sharing. I appreciate everyone’s stories, they certainly help.

@FishWatcher747 it was a max depth of 70 or so feet I believe.

 

[Marie13]

What was the planned depth of the dive?

Does it really matter?

 

[davecampbell]

I should add, that despite the fact these thumbed dives have made up a very small percentage of our diving, they have perhaps been some of our best learning experiences. We learned about our limits, mentally and physically, and about being uncomfortable in the water. We take our diving pretty seriously, and it's easy to get a little down on yourself when things dont go exactly as planned. We've broken down 4 hrs from home, and missed a whole weekend of diving. We've lost some gear, (a couple weight pockets, a flashlight). We've had bad weather alter or cancel the dives completely. Basically, I'm saying **** is gonna happen... try to roll with it and stay positive. Every day you're alive is a chance for another shot at it. Take your time, and stay positive. It's worth it...