Rituals and Routines

[fookisan]

I have been working on reducing the rituals and mindless routines that were robbing me of my life. Even when we balance up our life in this area, these things seem to creep back into our lives almost unnoticed. The computer eats up gobs of time. Very easy to succumb to computer addiction. After all, it is much more pleasurable dreaming and writing about life than doing the dirty work to repair an out of balance life. I now use a kitchen timer to limit my computer time. I used to go to the PO Box daily then decided to try it 3 days a week on Tues, Thur and Sat. After testing some more, I found I could get by with a trip there on Sat and Wed only. I cut down on supermarket time as well, as I found myself wasting much time there almost daily, sometimes at multiple markets daily. I told family to clue me in ahead of time as I would not be shopping like a madman as I had previously done. If they neglected to inventory properly and something ran out, then do without it for a few days until other needed items made a trip to the store necessary. Now I make lists and plan for the shopping and combine trips instead of running all over without much thought.

My Buddhist practice of mindfulness of the present moment has helped me - mindfulness of my time, mindfulness of my energies and most of all mindfulness of my inner peace I started with making a list of my rituals that needed scaling back and kept questioning everything and kept testing. How did I form a list to start questioning rituals and routines? By looking at what was chipping away at my peace and start work there. Of course, this assumes we have a handle on our inner peace and can see what is affecting it negatively or positively. A time diary of your day is helpful with developing clarity in this evaluation department. But remember, it is not just rituals and routines that end up robbing you of life - everything you own takes a little peace ~ peace of you as well. The bible reminds us of this "Test everything; hold fast to what is good; abstain from every form of evil," (1 Thess. 5:21) Even if you are an atheist, this concept of testing can be of help to you. For with such tests, 'the proof of the pudding will be in the eating' and decisions on how to live will not be left only to your ego, but will be grounded in peace.

In 1996 when I joined the Voluntary Simplicity aka Simple Living movement and started removing unneeded complexities from my life, I could see some light at the end of the tunnel. When you make this turn in direction and start removing complexities instead of adding them, you will see for yourself how important 'direction' makes with living a life at peace. Life can go in three directions. Either our complexities and stress can be growing, be frozen at the current level or be declining. Since life give use much problems for free, the optimum direction is a lessening of complexities if you have a true desire for simplicity and serenity in your life. No need to help shovel problems on our backs when we get enough for free? Previously I was very sick with all the complexities I had heaped upon myself. Looking for simplicity in one's life is a welcome break for those addicted to complex living. We seldom question if more of a "good thing" is desirable for our supposed happiness in life. The important question, that a life of Voluntary Simplicity helps answer, is the question of what IS enough so we may be at peace right now in the present. And in doing so, we can let go of peace and life destroying rituals and possessions and replace them with a contented, satisfied and complete life in the present moment instead of a life that revolves around the next thing to be acquired in hopes of satisfying our insatiable appetites.

Good Luck,


Fookisan

 

[zboss]

You have inspired me to start limiting my time in the restroom to once or twice a week... but look out when I do go

Seriously - I am in the same boat, so to speak - I travel for work weekly (leave sunday or monday and come back thursday or friday) and I end up spending all my time on the weekends running errands, doing the laundry, mowing the yards...

I have a serious issue with community associations that require me to do things when I am simply not there (i.e. the trash only comes on weekdays but I'm not there so I have to leave the can out twice a month). Of course - the NEIGHBORS aren't so nice as to VOLUNTEER to help out (besides I am not so sure I want the whole neighborhood to know when I am gone); instead they just file complaints.

 

[Firebrand]

Maybe I should figure out how to limit my time at work. The Army doesn't really like it when I'm not here, so that will be difficult. In all seriousness, congratulations on simplifying your life.

 

[fookisan]

You have inspired me ...instead they just file complaints.

I hope you are able to find some areas to simplify. We can start small and build from there. When we have jobs that do not promote peace, but undermine them it is tough. In the simplicity movement, many people scale down in lifestyle and thus need less money and can free up their time. This does not go well with those climbing the career success ladder. The Buddhist have the eightfold path to follow:

1. Right View
2. Right Intention
3. Right Speech
4. Right Action
5. Right Livelihood
6. Right Effort
7. Right Mindfulness
8. Right Concentration

A 'livelihood' that is not conducive to my peace or the peace of others is something I try to avoid. Here is an old post on 'poorness' that goes into more detail if money is all that is holding you back from living a life at peace.

Poorness ... is a state of mind


Written for a 12 step group


Poor? Poor is a state of mind and all such problems are created in the mind. From 'As A Man Thniketh'..."Wretchedness, not lack of material possessions, is the measure of wrong thought. A man may be cursed and rich; he may be blessed and poor...the poor man only descends into wretchedness when he regards his lot as a burden unjustly imposed." How can a person like Thoreau feel rich with $10 in his pocket, yet many a modern day millionaire feels poor? In two words - Self Worth. Self worth cannot be bought and resides within a person whereas money is external and sits in a bank vault. The acid test for such things is to take away a person possessions and strip a person naked and see how much self worth is left? Was all their self worth wrapped up in their house? Their car? Their trophy wife? Their bank account? If you ever wonder why rich people sometimes commit suicide after they have lost their wealth, this is the reason. All their self worth was locked up in a bank vault - there was nothing left within them to live for.

If you equate living within a budget as being poor, then you are not looking at the big picture. To be practical, everyone has a budget to live within, if they want to manage their money successfully and stay solvent. Even Bill Gates with his billions has a budget. Depending on which projects he would take on, his billions wouldn't go far enough. Or lets go to the ultimate source, the US Government. Even though they can print money at will (more or less) they have a budget to follow. So why should we be any different and not accept our limits? Defiance and abhorring limits or boundaries are two outstanding characteristics of the addict. Accepting my comfortable means and developing a real gratitude for those means has led to great inner peace, Whereas in my prior life nothing was ever enough and there was no peace. I look at the clarity a budget provides as freedom, not limitations. For without that clarity, I'd be in debt and suffering and far from feeling free.

We can develop much happiness in life once we start practicing gratitude as Thoreau wrote: "I am grateful for what I am & have. My thanksgiving is perpetual. It is surprising how contended one can be with nothing definite - only a sense of existence." I discussed this subject in an earlier post "Grateful Just To Be." Would not every great man or woman that took a spiritual path be considered a failure if viewed in monetary terms alone without gratitude for the rest of their life? Was the Buddha, Jesus, Thoreau or Mother Teresa vastly rich? The Buddha a homeless beggar having to be fed by others with charity? No, the great spiritual practitioners of history would not be considered successes in monetary terms. They were great success when it came to inner peace though.

Some people get the wrong idea that I am against money. No, I value money greatly, get all of it you can by legal, honorable and legitimate means. But also realize that money is only one part of the equation for living a good life. What I do guard against is turning money into a god and destroying ones life and the lives of others to get money by artificial means.

Money can buy a house, but not a home.
Money can buy a bed, but not sleep.
Money can buy a clock, but not time.
Money can buy a book, but not knowledge.
Money can buy food, but not an appetite.
Money can buy position, but not respect.
Money can buy blood, but not life.
Money can buy medicine, but not health.
Money can buy sex, but not love.
Money can buy insurance, but not safety.
You see, money is not everything

There is much more to living a serene, happy and balanced life than mere money. Money is nothing more than stored energy. Money is neither good or bad - it is people that do good or bad things with money. People also do good or bad things to 'get' money. This is where the addicts makes a major mistake with their recovery work - they refuse to balance their recovery needs with their own personal wants. A want and a need are quite different. Addicts many a time refuse to live within their comfortable means and try to attain money artificially by 'selling their soul' to get it. To most people 'means' refers to money, but when I refer to means, I am speaking about all of them; whether they be financial means, spiritual means, capability means, energy means, mental or stress means, caloric means, health means, comfortable space means, time means and most important my recovery program means. We each have different means or capabilities in each area, so don't be concerned with what 'he, she or they' can do, just be mindful of what YOU can abstinently, soberly, solvently and comfortably do.

One of the biggest breakthroughs in my recovery was to learn to accept Gods / Higher Powers will and to live within my means. If my comfortable earning potential is low, I live within it. If it was high, I'd do the same. I was always wanting to live the bigshots life, but only had below average capabilities in that department. Once I accepted my natural and authentic life I could be at peace with who I was instead of basing my peace on trying to be someone I'm not able to be. All it took was my acceptance of my comfortable capabilities and acceptance to live at peace and with gratitude for my current surroundings. Sure, I can stress myself out, push things to make more bucks, but my recovery programs will suffer. I've found that an addict doesn't dictate to their addiction how much money they wants to make. The addiction does the dictating to the addict with how much, money he can comfortably earn and still maintain abstinence and sobriety. A lot of so called 'unederearners' in Debtors Anonymous have no concept of this. They say they want to make 'X' amount of money to pacify their ego, but do not take their comfortable 'un-drugged' earning capabilities into account. This concept of 'program comfort' not only goes with jobs, it goes with every other aspect of my life. I discussed this in an earlier post "Concept of Forcing Things."

The bible tells us in Phillipians 4:11 "For I have learned in whatever situation I find myself to be content. I am experiences in living low and I know what it is to have abundance. I have learned how to cope with every circumstance - how to eat well or go hungry, to be well provided for or to do without." Good advice whether religious minded or atheist, for greed is never satisfied by attainment -- it can only be satisfied by contentment. Peace and contentment is not limited to any one religion and is open to all.

I was talking with a lawyer the other day. He was a millionaire and had a nice penthouse office with big leather tufted upholstered chair and a secretary to fetch his coffee and donuts all day. He was grossly fat and had hard time breathing as he wheezed and coughed. He also had a badly swollen leg that might need amputation from diabetes and poor circulation. As he recalled all his projects to me I could see why he was in so poor physical shape. He had no shortage of business ventures, he was in automobile dealerships, real estate develop, metallurgy and reclamation, venture capital loans as well as his law practice. He was all about making money, but was bankrupt when it came to healthy living practices. It did not sink in to him that sitting on your butt all day, smoking, drinking coffee, getting stressed out and eating junk foods is not healthy living no matter how much money you make.

No matter how 'rich' a person is they cannot pay their butler to eat healthy foods for them or do ones exercises and sweat for them. We are all on equal ground in this area. I discussed this in detail in my earlier post "The King and Queen of Good Health" When I write about BALANCED LIVING, this lawyer is a textbook example of UNBALANCED living. I tried to plant some seeds in him through living a life of voluntary simplicity, healthy eating and exercise. You know what he told me? He said he had too many bills to slow down and had no time for exercise. Oh well, all I can do is plant seeds in others...I can't force them to sprout. Being a millionaire wasn't enough for the lawyer, he still had 'poorness' consciousness.Thoreau once said: "a man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to leave alone." This millionaire was much too busy to live right. He reminded me of a quote from Ruskin.

"In a shipwreck, one of the passengers fastened a belt about him with one hundred pounds of gold in it, with which he was afterwards found at the bottom. Now, as he was sinking--had he the gold? Or had the gold him?"

I took some time off after I left that meeting to go trail running. I am most grateful and rich for having such wilderness just 15 minutes away. As I relaxed after my run near a small waterfall and listened to the birds sing I gave thanks for my two good legs, my health and for the clean air and luscious green nature that surrounded me.

Take Care,

fookisan