aussie_shark_bait
Contributor
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I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener.
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You know, I spent a fortune on
deodorant before I realized that
people didn't like me anyway.
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I was thinking that women should put
pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!
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I was thinking about old age and decided that it is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it'.
******************
I thought about making a fitness movie,
for folks my age, and call it "Pumping Rust."
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I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease.
That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!
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I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say,
"No, it's for company!"
*******************
Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in case of an emergency.' I think you should write,
"A Good Doctor!"
********************
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do -- write to these men?
********************
Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail?
********************
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals.
As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.
ASB
I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener.
*******************
You know, I spent a fortune on
deodorant before I realized that
people didn't like me anyway.
******************
I was thinking that women should put
pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!
******************
I was thinking about old age and decided that it is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it'.
******************
I thought about making a fitness movie,
for folks my age, and call it "Pumping Rust."
******************
I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease.
That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!
******************
I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say,
"No, it's for company!"
*******************
Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in case of an emergency.' I think you should write,
"A Good Doctor!"
********************
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do -- write to these men?
********************
Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail?
********************
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals.
As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.
ASB
