Quiz for football players

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tingkka

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Entrance Exam, Football Player Version
Time limit: 3 weeks
1. What language is spoken in France?

2. Give a dissertation on the Ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions.
or;
Give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.

3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to:
a. Build a bridge
b. Sail the ocean
c. Lead an army
d. Write a play

4. What religion is the Pope?
a. Jewish
b. Catholic
c. Hindu
d. Polish
e. Agnostic
(Check only one)

5. Metric conversion: How many feet are in 0.0 meters?

6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?

7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approx.)

8. What are the people in America's far north called?
a. Westerners
b. Southerners
c. Easterners
d. Northerners

9. Spell: Bush, Carter and Clinton.

10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being called George the Sixth. Name the previous five.

11. Where does the rain come from?
a. Macy's
b. 7-Eleven
c. Canada
d. The sky

12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
a. Yes
b. No

13. What are coat hangers used for?

14. The Star-Spangled Banner is the national anthem for what country?

15. Explain Le Chatelier's principle of Dynamic Equilibrium or;
Spell your name in block letters.

16. Where is the basement in a 3-story building located?

17. Which part of America produces the most oranges?
a. New York
b. Florida
c. Canada
d. Wisconsin

18. Advanced math: If you have 3 apples, how many apples do you have?

19. What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corporation) stand for?

-- You must answer three (3) or more questions correctly to qualify --
 
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?


Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

Colonel Sanders: "I missed one?"

LA Police Department: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.

Bill Clinton: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. I don't know any chickens. I have never known any chickens.

Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road. But why it crossed, I've not been told!

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Martin Luther King Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

Karl Marx: It was an historical inevitability.

Ronald Reagan: What chicken?

Bill Clinton (again): I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. However, I did ask Vernon Jordan to find the chicken a job in New York.

Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Fox Mulder: You saw it cross with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Bill Gates: I have just released "Chicken Coop 98", which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook, and Explorer is an inextricable part of the operating system.

Einstein: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

Bill Clinton (also, again): Define "cross".
 
there are two statements that are truely understood by two x-presidents
one.. Clinton ... the true meaning of the word blowjob
two .. 58 years ago the then president or primeminister of japan worked out ...... what the **** was that
and niether were a chicken ..... and it is funny how einstein had somthing to do with them both GRAVITY AND ATOMS
 
neil chambers once bubbled...
there are two statements that are truely understood by two x-presidents...
two .. 58 years ago the then president or primeminister of japan worked out ...... what the **** was that
and niether were a chicken ..... and it is funny how einstein had somthing to do with them both GRAVITY AND ATOMS

Um, say what? I don't understand what you're trying to say with this second one.
 

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