Doc --
Let me kind of 'think out loud' as I muddle through your question... Perhaps I can serve to muddy the waters even more!!
As I understand it, the BC's lift capacity is important for three (i think) reasons... first, having the ability to assist with lifting you to the surface if you were to have a problem (or if you needed to help another diver); second, to hold you afloat at the surface, and third, to provide you with enough bouyancy at depth to counter the lead you are wearing so that you can maintain neutral bouyancy (you need to be slightly negative to begin your descent, and then the amount you are 'negative' increases with depth.)
OK, now, let's also keep in mind, that if you were to have a problem, you could always dump your weights, and then you are back to your bouyant self.
Generally speaking, plus size women are more bouyant, so they need to wear more lead to make them initially slightly negative.
But, it seems to me, that as long as you add weight slowly, carefully doing bouyancy checks until you find the right amount, the lift capacity of the BC is of little importance.
No matter how much lead you are wearing, as long as you are neutral to ever so slightly bouyant on the surface, your own bouyancy is compensating.
Now, let me through in a caveat -- if you are doing dry suit diving and require a VERY large amount of weight, then perhaps something changes... (I don't know since I don't dive with a dry suit) ---
I still go back to the idea that the important thing is having a bc that fits properly and then using only enough weight to make you neutral to slightly negative.
I think (warning opinion here
that your LDS may be confused, or maybe wants to sell you what they have in stock? It makes no sense.... but, frankly, if your LDS can't explain this to you in a way that you can understand, then I wouldn't feel overly trustworty of them.
If you want to try and get some more 'expert' advice... you might try posting this in the 'gear' forum .....
On another note, how would you like to join a group of plus size women diving in Hawaii?