Philosophy and Ambiguity

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Jcsgt

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Philosophy and Ambiguity... For those who love the philosophy of ambiguity....

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....

3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

10. Is there another word for synonym?

11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

12. What do you do when you see an end angered animal eating an endangered plant?

13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

15 Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the
right to remain silent?

19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

25. How is it possible to have a civil war?

26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?

30. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

31. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

32. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?

33. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?
 
I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.

Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

No one knows what’s next, but everybody does it.

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

What year did Jesus think it was?

Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.

Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client?

“Meow” means “woof” in cat.

So far, this is the oldest I’ve been.

Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?

If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a fourth sense?

I don’t have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights.

It isn’t fair: the caterpillar does all the work, and the butterfly gets all the glory.

http://blogzarro.com/?p=226?fk
 
https://www.shearwater.com/products/peregrine/

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