Parent / Child Buddy sytstem

[MVillanueva]

I have an emerging realization with some questions I would like comments on. My daughter and I are being certified here in New Mexico. She is 12 and I am 48. Our instructors have been great, andit is clear to me that the buddy system is a fundamental core pillar upon which safe diving is built.

It occurred to me during our last class, while we were buddied and practicing buddy breathing, that we were both clueless -- and would remain so until we gathered experience. I can see traning with your kid -- that is fun.

However, when I really thought about this matter and realized that our first scheduled dive would be in Hawaii off the coast of Kona doing some manta ray sing-along, I began to have severe doubts. How can a parent / child buddy system effectively functiion to watch out for each other, respond in case of an emergency, when both are near complete idiots? Sure, we will be certified -- but there is something that strikes me as fundamentally unsafe and insane to assume the "buddy system" in the case of two *related* neophytes can actually respond to an emergency, crisis, or even know enough to avoid such circumstances.

Am I off base to question relying on the buddy system when it is comprised of a related dyad with no underwater/open water experience? Have other parents, from day one, routinely relied on the buddy system when diving with their children?

I am not overly protective -- at least I do not think I am being; however, I cannot help but think there is something amiss with being taught to assume that safer diving comes from the buddy system when both buddies are new.

How have other diving parents addressed this matter?

If there is an existing thread on this topic, would someone please point me towards it? I did a search and could not find one.

Thanks

Michael

 

[louisianadiver]

I have an emerging realization with some questions I would like comments on. My daughter and I are being certified here in New Mexico. She is 12 and I am 48. Our instructors have been great, andit is clear to me that the buddy system is a fundamental core pillar upon which safe diving is built.

It occurred to me during our last class, while we were buddied and practicing buddy breathing, that we were both clueless -- and would remain so until we gathered experience. I can see traning with your kid -- that is fun.

However, when I really thought about this matter and realized that our first scheduled dive would be in Hawaii off the coast of Kona doing some manta ray sing-along, I began to have severe doubts. How can a parent / child buddy system effectively functiion to watch out for each other, respond in case of an emergency, when both are near complete idiots? Sure, we will be certified -- but there is something that strikes me as fundamentally unsafe and insane to assume the "buddy system" in the case of two *related* neophytes can actually respond to an emergency, crisis, or even know enough to avoid such circumstances.

Am I off base to question relying on the buddy system when it is comprised of a related dyad with no underwater/open water experience? Have other parents, from day one, routinely relied on the buddy system when diving with their children?

I am not overly protective -- at least I do not think I am being; however, I cannot help but think there is something amiss with being taught to assume that safer diving comes from the buddy system when both buddies are new.

How have other diving parents addressed this matter?

If there is an existing thread on this topic, would someone please point me towards it? I did a search and could not find one.

Thanks

Michael

Hello Michael. I am not as concerned about 2 new divers (regardless of age or relationship) gaining experience together as I am about your assertion that you are both clueless. The buddy system is a cornerstone of diving safety, but it should not be "relied" upon. Each diver should be confidently self-sufficient during the dive, and neither diver should rely upon the other. If you are not sure that the dive in Hawaii can be handled safely, perhaps you should both gain more experience and confidence in less challenging dives before you tackle it. If either of you feel a need to rely on another diver for your personal safety, then you should be diving only with a trained professional dedicated to taking care of you. I'm glad that your maturity and good judgement causes you to question your abilities as a dive team, and you should not consider the fact that you're both certified as proof that you are ready for the dive you describe. The decision to make the dive is yours alone. Be sure. My 2 cents'. -Clay

 

[H2Andy]

it is not uncommon to have two new divers buddy up together, so long as they
know enough to help each other in an emergency.

i am actually concerned for you. should something go wrong with your daughter,
i have no doubt you will be beside her in no time flat and provide the assistance
a buddy is there to provide.

what if the tables are turned? what if you have a problem? is your daugther mature
enough to formulate and act on a good plan to help you? is she physically
capable of helping you (i.e. size and strength?)

i would take buddy skills very seriously. make it a part of your routine to practice
certain scenarios. talk about what you would do. get her prepared for an emergency.
make sure you can rely on her when the brown stuff hits the fan.

 

[garyfotodiver]

I dive with my 13 year-old daughter. The relationship is not 50/50. I am responsible for both of us. Our first two dives together, I held her hand most of the time. We didn't practice any skills, merely looked at the reef and the sea creatures.

Currently I am taking the SSI Stress Rescue Diver course. I want to formalize the things I have learned over the years.

Perhaps you two ought to make some dives together before you go to Hawaii. Where are you doing your check-out dives? Return there.

Good luck!

 

[Wildcard]

Water is water. Kona side is not a big challenge. Think about using a buddy line for a few dives untill you are both comftorable. This way you will be sure to stay together. Getting seperated is the biggest single problem you will have to deal with most likely. Stay shallow and get very comftorable before moving deeper.
Let me know when you will be here (hawaii) and I'll take you out on the zodiac to some awsome spots.

 

[Sideband]

At a pool session I was helping out with yesterday the instructor decided to give a little test. He had half of the class decend to the floor of the shallow end to do some "practice breathing". They were to lay on their stomachs facing the wall and just breath. He had the other half of the class line up about 15 feet behind them. They were to swim up to one of the 'practice breathers' underwater and signal OOA (which they would not be be too far from reality since they weren't using regs for this exercise.) They were told they could forcefully grab a reg if they had to but they were to remain underwater until we gave the thumbs up. Anyway, the absolute best performance was by an 11 year old girl. I was only about 5 feet behind the pair watching and as soon as she saw the OOA signal she grabbed her octo and held it out, took the arm of the girl she was assisting and flashed "OK?". We had done OOA drills earlier that day but the way she responded was totally unexpected by me and I almost lost MY reg in surprise. Some of the adults didn't do near as well and I saw more than one person have to grab the octo themselves as they were starting to get desperate. The younger members tended to do better than the adults.

Do a few dives with her and practice the skills. Like H2Andy said, you need to be sure she is physically able to assist you if you should need it. Also, If she should need help, you need to know that YOU will keep a cool head and follow your training. Parents can panic if their child is in trouble. One last story to show that point.

When I was about 5 my parents and myself were staying on the river in a cabin. There was a long wooden L shaped dock that lead out to a boat we were using. My mother had me get Dad for dinner and I went running down the dock to tell him and never managed to make the turn. SPLASH! At 5 I didn't know how to swim yet and my Mom, who saw the incident, reacted quickly. She bolted down the dock and jumped in after me. SPLASH! There is only one small problem with this rescue. My mother is made of concrete. The woman can't even float, let alone swim. By this time my Dad had made it into the water and was charged with saving us both. Mom's reactions, though swift and courageous, were not well thought out. There was NEVER any chance that her jumping in was going to help me. She just made the situation worse because there were now two victims needing rescue. Well, Dad saved us both and I was quickly put into swimming lessons.

Hopefully though you can see what I mean about parents reacting to their child in trouble. I don't want to scare you. Practice the skills together. Dive and get more experience together. You will end up a great buddy team. I'm sure of it.

Joe

 

[ABQdiver]

You have gotten some good advice so far. Let help with a story and some suggestions of my own.

I also dive with my daughter who is thirteen. She went through the SSI Scuba Rangers prior to OW and is extremely comfortable under water. We practice our skills about every other dive we make at the local dive spot (Blue Hole). She sometimes protests about the practice, but I remind her of the need to know this stuff inside and out, and the fact that we both have to be ready for the "situation" when it happens, not just me.

That said I would recommend that you "both" get some more experience before you try ANY situation that goes outside your comfort zone. Most of the people that get certified tend to do it right before a tropical trip and don't spend much time getting to know the equipment, the underwater world and practicing skills prior to the trip.

My daughter has about 30 some odd dives so far and is becoming a pretty good diver. She is also scheduled to take the Advanced Diving course in a month, without the deep specialty. I won't let her go below 60' for several more years. It's up to us to be parents, but if our kids are going to be diving, they need to learn how to act responsibly and go through the same training we do in order to learn the ropes.

BTW, we go out to Blue Hole at least every couple of weeks and would be happy to help you out if you'd like.

 

[diver_paula]

Michael,

My father, myself and two younger sisters are all certified. My youngest sister was 12 at the time of certification.

Anyway, one of the things my club did and continues to do to this date is to separate couples and parent / child pairs. Both during training and checkouts. What we've found is that one half of a buddy tends to dominate. They want to help the other whether needed or desired. For some people this is inherant and they can't help it. We help stop it by separating them from those they love.

I know that was the case for me. My father was certified a couple years before me. (I was away at school when the rest of the family started.) He kept wanting to 'help' me by putting my gear together, etc even when I asked him not to. He was eventually asked to not attend the class. Sorry, I digress. But, what was happening was that I wasn't as familiar with my gear as I should have been given someone else was assembling it.

Perhaps it would help your daughter if you weren't paired together during the remainder of your classes and open water checkouts? It may help her by not allowing her to rely on you. And thus developing all the skills she needs. And you wouldn't be tempted to help her when not needed.

Hope that helps.
Paula

 

[Sideband]

Paula,
Our shop does that as well and I think a lot of others do too. They seperate husbands and wives, Boyfriends and girlfriends... We even mix up buddies from one class session to the next because there are a lot of times you may find yourself diving with a buddy that you don't know. We had a girl in my class fail her OW because she was "helped" too much during her class and pool sessions by her dad as well as other classmates.

Joe

 

[mech]

My kids learned to dive young also.
I have to agree with diver_paula about not budding up with her for your classes.
My daughter relied too much on me when we did.
She progressed better with out me.
Have you looked into joining a club?
It's a good way to go for lots of people.