Welcome to ScubaBoard, Mom (does this mean I have to clean up my room??? Ahhhhh...geee)
The first consideration to always keep in mind when purchasing gear is
C O M F O R T ! ! ! So no matter what bit of gear you are buying (BC, reg, wetsuit, fins, etc) always keep that in mind. Otherwise, you won't be able to enjoy yourself and be trekking back to the shop to replace the bad item.
The second you have already mentioned:
Buy quality gear with your future dive plans in mind. Much of the gear that will handle the advanced stuff (you mentioned caving) will work perfectly for recreational diving. And though it may cost a bit more now, you will get a longer run of usage out of it than the less expensive stuff. So you might look at things on a "cost per dive" basis.
The third consideration:
Don't be in a rush to make a purchase. Due to the fact that there are lots of very good gear choices out there, it can get very overwhelming for the new diver. Be willing to spend some money on rentals and take time to ask EVERYbody why they chose the gear they are using and if they are satisfied with it. And be sure to ask SCUBABOARD folks what we think. With the good folks here (especially the regulators and the regulars) you will get a very good cross section of divers and why we like (or don't like) the gear we have.
Now to answer your questions more directly:
- Backpack style vs. straps
I am not sure what you mean by this. Almost all of the popular BC's use some form of tank strap and "cam" lock to hold the tank to the BC. Including the backplate and wings BC's like the Halcyon and Dive Right systems. So I'd like for you to share what you meant by the "backpack" term.
There are several manufacturers who take the woman's shape into consideration for their BC's. But these tend to run more toward the "vest" inflation BC's rather than the "back" inflation. There are some back inflation for the gals, but the choices are a bit more limited.
- Consoles: Inline or wrist?
The answer to this is more of a personal preference thing. I have my SPG, Genesis ReACT computer, and compass in a console attached to a high pressure line. But I am considering trying my computer on my wrist.
And the layout of the instruments is also a personal preference thing. There are many different varieties.
- To DIN or not? And Nitrox Compatibility...
DIN (as you may know) is most often used on thanks with higher pressure, or when having an exceptionally good tank valve to regulator seal is critical for your survival. For the beginning of your dive careeer, requiring a DIN setup should not concern you since all of your diving will be recreational and the standard yoke will cover you just fine. And depending on the reg you purchase, it might be possible to upgrade from yoke to DIN.
Nitrox compatibility has to do with the o-rings that are used in the first and 2nd stages. You can use nitrox with a regulator labeled for standard air, but the higher O2 content will "age" the o-rings faster, thus requiring more frequent servicing. Nitrox regs are the exact same design as the air regs, but have o-rings that can withstand the higher O2. And these are just fine for air diving. Which to choose will depend on how often you do Nitrox.
I hope some of this has helped. Be sure to ask more questions.