Legal Question - Name Change

[scuba-sass]

This is a question for the lawyers in the family, or others who have made a legal name change.

My Life Partner, Lydia and I are expecting a child in June. ( Related Thread ) We've had a LOT of discussion about a family name, and feel strongly that our child should share a last name with both of us. Neither wants to give up our own, but would be perfectly happy with hyphenating. Luckily, we both have single-sylable last names!

So, I found this site which prepares documents for you to file, and claims that for simple filings, a lawyer may not be necessary. Has anyone ever used these folks, or others like them? Anyone have any experience in changing their name?

Obviously, I don't expect extensive legal advice from SB, but any thoughts from the lawyers on why we SHOULD use the services of a legal proffessional?

Happy Diving,
Scuba-sass

 

[Big-t-2538]

I was under the impression that the issues with names came in during the adoption process, or changing a name b/c of emanicpation or something.

Give the kid a name at Birth...then when said child gets older and decides to rebel by changing the given birth name, there are ways of dealing with that.

 

[scuba-sass]

I am the birth-mother, so Junior will have my family name at birth. By changing our family names now (well before the birth), we're hoping to simplify the change in advance. Here in CT, Lydia can legally adopt as a 2nd parent, which is great, but we feel that sharing a family name among the three of us is important.

Little things like explaining to the daycare center (or it's small inhabitants) why Mommy has a different last name than Junior. Our child is automatically in a minority by having two Mommies, why make one of them have a different last name? We do dread our daughter/son falling in love with someone else with a hyphenated last name - but their decision will be their own.

Scuba-sass

 

[Wingtip]

But I would still consult an attorney. You can save money by having drawn up the papers yourself, but soliciting the help of an experienced attorney to review and submit the paperwork will save you alot of headache.

My ex-lifepartner and I tried the diy dissolution to end our state sanctioned, Christian blessed martimonial arrangement. Then that sneaky lil' so-n-so went to an attorney while I was stationed overseas and got herself the best end of the deal. And well that's a whole different story, but the lesson learned was you can save on legal fees by doing the paperwork yourself. I know a few couples who have hyphenated to create a common name without too much hoopla, Good luck to you.

 

[CBulla]

Based on family experience, the child does not necessarily have to be your last name. For some unexplainable reason she has pasted her two youngest lads with the fathers last name. She had the option to hyphenate as well. As the parent, it is your choice what you are to name your wee one.. it is the first real and true decision you make as a parent after their birth.

Its kind of neat really... I've had animals all my life and always named them without hassle. I'm still grinning when I look at my son and think "damn, my wife and I named a person!"... especially when he's pullin on a dogs tail named "Galoot" and 'patting' another in the head named "Dakota".

 

[Otter]

scuba-sass once bubbled...
I

<snip>

Little things like explaining to the daycare center (or it's small inhabitants) why Mommy has a different last name than Junior. Our child is automatically in a minority by having two Mommies, why make one of them have a different last name? We do dread our daughter/son falling in love with someone else with a hyphenated last name - but their decision will be their own.

Scuba-sass

Society is not geared for two parents of the same gender. Forms (e.g., asking for "Father'), explanations to officials, friends (the child's, not yours), teasings, etc... The difficult adolescent years are made even tougher. Girls usually fair better -- being more mature while boys struggle for a role model and are more prone to peer exclusion and somtimes outright harassment. This is based upon my limited observations of neighbors who are in a similar situation. During one of our discussions, they made the comment that "We made the decision that best worked for US, not considering childs-name". My response was, "Most parents have kids for selfish reasons, you two are no different".

YMMV

Good Luck.

 

[scuba-sass]

Otter - we are well aware of the challenges a child of ours will face, above and beyond the everyday trials of growing up.

I'm simply looking for advice, unrelated to child rearing, on a legal name change.

Scuba-sass

 

[Jersey]

scuba-sass once bubbled...
Otter - we are well aware of the challenges a child of ours will face, above and beyond the everyday trials of growing up.

I'm simply looking for advice, unrelated to child rearing, on a legal name change.

Scuba-sass

I would suggest utilizing the services of an attorney to ensure all the legal i's are dotted & t's crossed. This could prevent potential problems at some unforeseen future time. We live in a world of documents & paper trails, having the proper documentation could save time & $$ later.

(BTW some of the most maladjusted excuses for humanity I've ever met were the by-products of loving, traditional 2 parent, well to do families. Obviously there is more going on in child rearing then having 2 mommies or 2 daddies.)

Best of luck to you all.

Jersey

 

[scuba-sass]

Jersey - thanks. I tend to prefer the "cover your butt" approach anyway. And yes, Lydia is a teacher, and has met her share of "maladjusteds" in her time...

Scuba-sass

 

[Big-t-2538]

Jersey once bubbled...
to ensure all the legal i's are dotted & t's crossed.

But...but...but...what about all the j's don't they need to be dotted too???

Sorry for the temporary hi-jack...I'm in an evil mood this morning...