el ridgeo
Contributor
I was reading Uncle Pug's post "Hey Hoover ~ Did you ruin someone's dive?" and remembered an encounter with a hoover and the consequences of trying to help said hoover get just a wee bit more time out of his tank.
It was our first trip to Cozumel! We fell in love with the place on the first dive. Warm water, great visibility, fantastic coral formations, brilliantly colored fish. Five minutes into that dive and I knew I was gonna have a hard time getting excited about diving the quarries back home.
The only thing that could made the diving better would have been to make the dives last longer. Hmmm, hey pardner, have you noticed that we seem to be surfacing sooner than the other members in the group? I think that's because you seem to be burning through your air supply a whole lot faster than you usually do. Fortunately for you, I've been an observant buddy, and I know what you can do to fix this problem: leave your $@#^&@!!! camera on the boat. Just this one time. Trust me. You're spending so much time and effort trying to take pictures of the pretty fishies that you're not letting yourself just relax and get into the dive. Trust me on this one, bro. I know you. I dive with you. Just leave that stupid camera on the boat for this next dive. Just do the dive, relax and enjoy it, and you'll have plenty of air.
Hey what do ya know? He actually listened to my advice. Cool there's hope for him yet. Okay here we go. Man this is great. I love this. Just look at all the fish. We don't see fish like this at home. Hey! Look at that! It's a real, honest to goodness barracuda! Just look at the size of that bad boy! Man that'll make a really cool pic... oh yeah, well don't worry about it. Just relax and enjoy the dive. There'll be other barracudas to take pictures of. You're doing a lot better with your air consumption.
Wow! Looky there! A turtle! It's huge! Oh this is even neater than the barracuda! man, just look at it. What? Why are you glaring at me? Oh get over it. It's just a lousy turtle. There will be other turtles. Just relax and breathe easy.
Okay, just drifting along and getting into the dive again. Paying attention to all the neat stuff around us. Isn't this a lot better than being all obsessive about taking a picture of everything you see? Yeah, this is great. This is what I was telling you about. Just relax and ..... Sweet mother of pearl!!!!! Look at that!!!! I can't believe it!!! A submarine!!!! It's a submarine!!! I can't believe it a real submarine. Wow look at that, you can see the people looking back at us. Too cool. Look, they're waving at us! Man is this great or what? How many people see a real submarine on their first trip to Coz? This has got to be a real one-of-a-kind event. Truly a Kodak moment! (oh crap!).
Okay, okay. Just calm down. C'mon bro, it's gonna be okay. You're burning up your air way too fast now. Just relax. Y'know, I can't tell what you're saying, but I can hear you screaming at me real clearly. What's that. You're pointing to the surface? Why? I know you've still got plenty of air. Wait a minute. Since when do you use that finger to signal it's time to go up? Hey, there's no need to use both hands, I understood what you were saying the first time. Jeez, try to do somebody a good turn and this is that thanks I get. Hey, is that a blue whale?
It was our first trip to Cozumel! We fell in love with the place on the first dive. Warm water, great visibility, fantastic coral formations, brilliantly colored fish. Five minutes into that dive and I knew I was gonna have a hard time getting excited about diving the quarries back home.
The only thing that could made the diving better would have been to make the dives last longer. Hmmm, hey pardner, have you noticed that we seem to be surfacing sooner than the other members in the group? I think that's because you seem to be burning through your air supply a whole lot faster than you usually do. Fortunately for you, I've been an observant buddy, and I know what you can do to fix this problem: leave your $@#^&@!!! camera on the boat. Just this one time. Trust me. You're spending so much time and effort trying to take pictures of the pretty fishies that you're not letting yourself just relax and get into the dive. Trust me on this one, bro. I know you. I dive with you. Just leave that stupid camera on the boat for this next dive. Just do the dive, relax and enjoy it, and you'll have plenty of air.
Hey what do ya know? He actually listened to my advice. Cool there's hope for him yet. Okay here we go. Man this is great. I love this. Just look at all the fish. We don't see fish like this at home. Hey! Look at that! It's a real, honest to goodness barracuda! Just look at the size of that bad boy! Man that'll make a really cool pic... oh yeah, well don't worry about it. Just relax and enjoy the dive. There'll be other barracudas to take pictures of. You're doing a lot better with your air consumption.
Wow! Looky there! A turtle! It's huge! Oh this is even neater than the barracuda! man, just look at it. What? Why are you glaring at me? Oh get over it. It's just a lousy turtle. There will be other turtles. Just relax and breathe easy.
Okay, just drifting along and getting into the dive again. Paying attention to all the neat stuff around us. Isn't this a lot better than being all obsessive about taking a picture of everything you see? Yeah, this is great. This is what I was telling you about. Just relax and ..... Sweet mother of pearl!!!!! Look at that!!!! I can't believe it!!! A submarine!!!! It's a submarine!!! I can't believe it a real submarine. Wow look at that, you can see the people looking back at us. Too cool. Look, they're waving at us! Man is this great or what? How many people see a real submarine on their first trip to Coz? This has got to be a real one-of-a-kind event. Truly a Kodak moment! (oh crap!).
Okay, okay. Just calm down. C'mon bro, it's gonna be okay. You're burning up your air way too fast now. Just relax. Y'know, I can't tell what you're saying, but I can hear you screaming at me real clearly. What's that. You're pointing to the surface? Why? I know you've still got plenty of air. Wait a minute. Since when do you use that finger to signal it's time to go up? Hey, there's no need to use both hands, I understood what you were saying the first time. Jeez, try to do somebody a good turn and this is that thanks I get. Hey, is that a blue whale?
