Keep in mind it's an aggregation. So there are a lot of factors that attribute to aggregations, most of which can vary from year to year (aggregation to aggregation) not month to month. There is a gradual building up of the whale sharks as they aggregate to the location and a gradual dwindling down as they leave the aggregation to continue or return to where they came from. Keep in mind they are feeding, that's why they are there so when they feel they've had enough of the food starts to lessen or the weather begins to change they decide to start leaving...
Best thing to do if you're looking at maximum numbers is to follow trip reports or query specific operators during the season and you'll get a good idea at the numbers.
BUT, the biggest factor on what you will see on the day you are there is the weather patterns. Just because you go at the time when the most whale sharks are in the area doesn't mean your experience will reflect it. They are on the surface when they are feeding on the surface, when they aren't feeding they aren't on the surface, if you have stormy weather what they feed on gets dispersed and it could be two, three, four days before their food again concentrates enough for them to start feeding (ie swimming on the surface where you can see them) in numbers again. If you're going on a whale shark snorkel after bad weather even though there may be 200 or 300 in the area, you might only see 1 on your trip, a few days later you might see 40, then later 100.
Yes they are full sized, we've seen some 'trucks' out there they are so big and we've seen what looked like mothers with a babies also.
Visibility depends on which location you go to. If you go to the Holbox typically location expect green water low visibility, if you go to the Isla Mujeres location typically expect blue water, relatively clearer visibility. Holbox is where it all started, now the hot spot is from Isla Mujeres. Any pictures or videos you see where they are in blue water is Isla Mujeres.