Inappropriate customer

[kastuk]

Hello,

I'm a divemaster in training and was assisting with a rescue course a few weeks back with an older man. He was very touchy - my butt was touched multiple times, my chest, etc, along with inappropriate jokes. Problem is he did it in a way that it could be perceived as an accident. I'm trying to not gaslight myself into saying it was an accident because it was definitely at best a violation of boundaries he should know at his age not to cross with a woman and at worst completely intentional and an abuse of power since it was fully out of the view of the instructor.

I don't know how to tell the dive instructor because I'm worried he won't believe me or brush it off as "well it's a rescue, of course he will touch you." Of course, then I'd say "what rescue requires cupping the buttocks?" But still, uncomfortable.

Any dive professionals who have had to deal with customers like this? I've been a bartender so I know how men can be, but then they couldn't touch me. Also I know a lot of women who deal with weird masculinity in diving environments and so I'm worried that other professionals don't take it seriously enough.

What would you do? What do you do in these situations?

 

[DevilEyeDog]

I'm not an instructor nor divemaster, but your shop should have some guidelines. This is 100% inappropriate. I know why you didn't speak up at the time, but next time be loud and say no. Embarrass him and make it known you know what he did. At that moment he's dismissed from the class. It should NEVER be tolerated. Right now, I would hope the shop would back you, fire him as a customer and support you. Good luck.

 

[tursiops]

Number One: say something to the individual, at the moment. If necessary, tell him if he does it again you'll knee him in the balls, hard, then say, "Excuse me, it was an accident."

 

[Eric Sedletzky]

If he physically touched you in any way that makes you feel violated, that constitutes an assault and you need to take action.
If the instructor doesn't take any action then you need to go up the ladder until someone takes you seriously all the way up to the certifying agency if necessary. I know of an instructor that was banned from PADI and had his instructor status revoked because of an inappropriate relationship with a female DM. They don't mess around.
I depends how strongly you feel about it, but I wouldn't let any of this go.

 

[Wheeler925]

Location?

 

[Eric Sedletzky]

Number One: say something to the individual, at the moment. If necessary, tell him if he does it again you'll knee him in the balls, hard, then say, "Excuse me, it was an accident."

So you're advocating for her to challenge this guy to a fight? And what happens when she gets arrested for assault and gets sued because she ruptured one if his testicles and he's in the hospital?
All serious questions.
None of this is a joke.

 

[tursiops]

So you're advocating for her to challenge this guy to a fight? And what happens when she gets arrested for assault and gets sued because she ruptured one if his testicles and he's in the hospital?
All serious questions.
None of this is a joke.

She can threaten without doing it. He is a bully; don't cave immediately, it emboldens the bully.
The important thing is to confront him in the moment.
If the instructor doesn't respond to a complaint, quit on the spot, in the middle of the Rescue class.
Report the diver and the instructor to PADI.

 

[Wheeler925]

So you're advocating for her to challenge this guy to a fight? And what happens when she gets arrested for assault and gets sued because she ruptured one if his testicles and he's in the hospital?
All serious questions.
None of this is a joke.

Honestly this is going to be one of those posters who has one post, never to be seen again..

 

[kastuk]

So you're advocating for her to challenge this guy to a fight? And what happens when she gets arrested for assault and gets sued because she ruptured one if his testicles and he's in the hospital?
All serious questions.
None of this is a joke.

Thank you for this. Exactly this.

Not to mention it didn't feel like a safe place to say something as a trainee. In an ideal world I would have said something, but this is a paying customer and it was his course - it felt like I could get the shop in trouble if I did said something. Of course isn't true, and I would hope the shop would back me up, and either way this shouldn't be my top concern, but when you're in this situation it's just hard... Freezing was my reaction and I couldn't really do anything to stop it.

 

[kastuk]

She can threaten without doing it. He is a bully; don't cave immediately, it emboldens the bully.
The important thing is to confront him in the moment.
If the instructor doesn't respond to a complaint, quit on the spot, in the middle of the Rescue class.
Report the diver and the instructor to PADI.

I froze, to be honest. I plan to talk to the instructor tomorrow, though