How important is a same-sex roommate on a week-long trip?

[karenpadi]

I am a young (27), single woman, and I am planning a scuba trip for myself and I hope to go to somewhere warm for about a week to dive. Because I am traveling by myself, I will either need to get a random roommate or pay a supplement. I have no problem with either option . . . as long as the roommate is female. I think of this is a basic safety and privacy need.

One of the outfits I am researching pretty much told me that I'd have to be "flexible" because it looked like there's more men than women on the trip. I immediately offered to pay a single supplement if a female roommate wasn't available. I thought this was more than reasonable.

Based on what some of the other people said following my comment, I felt like maybe I had gone too far. I was quite concerned about this so I spoke with some (guy) friends of mine whom I trust to tell me when I'm crazy. Well, they thought I was crazy. Immediately, I felt like I was being labeled as a man-hater who couldn't "be more mature." They think that because the guys on the trip are there "for the same reason" and paying the same amount of money that I can safely assume they are decent guys whom I can trust to share a bedroom.

Like most women, I have my reasons to be wary of strange men but I am taking this too far?

Am I the unreasonable one here for insisting on a same-sex roommate or paying a single supplement rather than rooming with a strange man for a week in a foreign country?

 

[Cacia]

Men will leave you more electrical plugs in the BR.

Just take head phones or ear plugs.

They all snore but that is the only downside.--which is pretty minimal if you think about it.

I wouldn't be afraid, but if you are then it might effect your trip. Do you have brothers or male friends that have slept in your house? Women are going to be advising you about where to hang your wet suit and stuff like that....I'd take the man, cause then you can be the boss. (cause they don't care!) They usually fall right to sleep like babies and you can look at magazines and stuff--they are oblivious to lights and noises. And if it does bother them..they will just ask you to turn off the light, no heavy sigh routines and all that.

 

[almitywife]

if its a dive trip, personally i think i would be safe sharing a room with a guy, afterall you might get a guy who is married and taking his once a year dive trip without the family and just wants to dive and sleep.

but i dont blame you for wanting a female room buddy either! (and take ear plugs!!)

i thought that some operators would put you in a single room on your own if they couldnt find another same sex single to share with you

if i was on the trip and met you and found out that you paid a supplement to get your room - after being jealous of you having a room to yourself i would never think (without meeting you that is) that you are a man hater or anything like that

oh, and a few years ago i sent hubby to vanuatu for a photo shootout... i paid for him to have a bungalow to himself so he didnt have to share also. .

like you said, its about havinig privacy and space and being able to relax

cheers

 

[rhadamantus]

i agree with catherine. and they use the bathrooms really quickly.

you won't be spending a considerable amount of time in your assigned room, anyway. you could use the money elsewhere.

 

[alcina]

No, you are not unreasonable. Everyone has a level of comfort - if you are uncomfortable with the possible arrangement, then go ahead and pay the single supplement - you'll enjoy your week more.

Anyone calling you a "man-hater" is just an idiot, ignore them...you don't have to hate men to not want to share a room with someone you don't know.

Personally, I'd be OK with sharing on a dive trip. Not that divers can't be cuckoo-psycho, too, but at least I'm pretty sure I'd have something in common with the roomie so we'd likely be able to get along, have similar schedules and most likely attract a different segment of the rest of the group so would enjoy spending more time with people that I might not otherwise.

 

[alcina]

i agree with catherine. and they use the bathrooms really quickly.

LOL - not all of them. I know plenty of men who are still futzing around to get ready long after I'm ready to head out the door.

 

[rhadamantus]

LOL - not all of them. I know plenty of men who are still futzing around to get ready long after I'm ready to head out the door.

i guess i have been lucky then!

i found sharing a bunk with men easier because it is alright with them if you guys don't talk every 5 minutes or so (and this is very important for me as there are times i don't really like conversing when i am getting ready for bed).... women sometimes find the silence too uncomfortable and always seem to find a need to say something to fill it in...

 

[rhadamantus]

anyway, i just realized i sort of sidetracked the thread....

karen- whatever makes you comfortable. nothing is worse than squeezing a less favourable alternative in your holiday that might ruin everything.

 

[starryeye]

I'm assuming you're getting a bathroom with a solid door as part of your private room?

I've been in foreign hotels where the communal bathroom was down the hall, so changing in your own room could be awkward. I've even had a room where the glass shower stall faced the bed/beds (don't remember). I had to take my shower telling my male roommate to lie on the bed and face away (and stay that way.) I then freaked out (only a little) the next morning when I found out he had showered while I was sleeping. And this was a very good friend. We changed hotels after that night.

If you're not going to be subjected to a similar situation, then my vote would be roomie = okay if I had a tight budget and no roomie if I was in a hermit mood (and my lottery winnings were paying for the trip.) :14: Actually, some people may be comfortable even with the situation above.

You'll probably be fine either way...nice new buddy or very sound sleep. Here's to a great vacation!

 

[Tom Smedley]

After some years of planning and leading dive trips plus lots of years of military deployments I have found that there are as many men who are uncomfortable with sharing rooms with females as there are females uncomfortable with sharing with men. There are also couples that are not comfortable with sharing with another couple.

Rooming assignments are by far the most challenging part of planning a trip. Some resorts have rooms that are set up for singles and some do not. Sometimes even if these rooms are available they are not the best accomodations in the house. If you have the chance for pre-trip meetings where travelers can get to know each other before the trip this helps greatly.

Another hindrance is the spouse or SO left home while their guy or girl is off on an exotic trip rooming with a great looking person of the opposite sex. Usually on a dive trip - after eating all the food they offer and diving all the dives they offer - sex is not a factor but try convincing the one left home of that.

Dpn't believe the part about men spending less time in the bathroom. One fellow instructor that I travel with spends hours in front of the mirror blow drying his hair. Another gets up at an insane hour and takes a long shower before diving in salt water.

It all boils down to how pragmatic you can be about the situation and how comfortable you are. I - for one - would not use my precious vacation time to spend an uncomfortable week. Talk the situation over with your prospective roomie and work out a schedule for showering and bathroom use. Set down a dress code and stick by it. Usually even the smallest liveaboard has a common area where the roomie can read while the other uses the facilities. However, no matter how well you plan sometimes the jerk or jerkette alarm doesn't go off until it's too late. Problems after the trip starts is yet another challenge of the already overloaded leader.

Best thing is to talk it over with your planner and if they can't accomodate you then search for a different trip in which your needs can be met. Remember that most times it is economics or availability and not branding you are a prude that drives the decisions.