I will reprint it here......with permission from the publisher
!TSS
OK, gonna let y'all in on some TSS that Dee & I have been working on. BTW TSS is "Top Secret Stuff". We thought we'd let the members here in on it before we let the NAVY have it.
What we have come up with is a Methane Fusion Dive Light, uses a 1KW HID Bulb.
We discovered the process quite by accident, on a dive about a year ago we were collecting some of the rarer pond scums and were putting them in Mason Jars (they have a really good seal) and by accident we put some in a jar that had some of the aromatic bovine deposits that are found around the edge of a stock pond. Well we noticed instantly that it started to produce a glowing & heated matter. We looked at each other and said "Golly Gee" It kept heating and glowing, soon it heated up to the point the lid of the Mason Jar melted.
We figured we were onto something.
Went back to the lab for some more research. After many months of testing we found that we could control the fusion process by adding some TSS, distilled grain alcohol (you guessed it) to the process and not melt the top of the Mason Jar.
Now just to get that power to the bulb. We found that we could use some 0000 welding cable (that's 4 ought) and not melt the shielding around the wire. Then we had to put the bulb on an extenstion that put it out in front of your hand, or else it would melt your gloves to your hand. Burning flesh still stinks, even underwater.
We found that we could get an eight (8) hour burn time on the light before the alcohol evaporated and had to be replenished and the top melted, more commonly known as the "Eeeeeeyaaagh Syndrome"
Some words of warning. We found that you cannot point this light at any living thing closer than 25 feet or you will run the risk of poaching them. Also we noticed that you cannot use the light out of the water as the methane fusion reaction produces some very offensive odors and the paint on the dive boats began to peel.
We are almost ready to go to market with it pending the results of some final testing. But getting chimps to scuba dive is costing us a bundle and we are running out of the trained ones. We hope to have it ready for market by the time the next DEMA rolls around.
Will keep you posted on further developments.
Disclaimer: Methane fusion is not an exact science, Dee & I have many years of experience in this field. DO NOT try these experiements at home as they can be quite dangerous to the structure (lost 3 labs) and to your person. Also the off gassing of this process, can be quite harmful to your orafactory process and develop acidizing of the sinus.
We have also applied for several patents and they are pending as of this writing.
Iguana Don, Phd S.E.