For the Dog & Cat Lovers

[Natasha]

It’s all about ATTITUDE.

THE DOG'S DIARY

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!

6:00 pm - Agility class! Truly my favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My
favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


THE CAT'S DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other
inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry
nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat
something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again
vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless
body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear
into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely
made condescending comments about what a "good little
hunter" I am.
*******s!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the
duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I
overheard that my confinement was due to the power of
"allergies." I must learn what this means, and
how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to
assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his
feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are
flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released, and seems to be more than willing to return.
He is obviously retarded.

The bird must be an informant. I observe him
communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain
that he reports my every move.
My captors have arranged protective custody for him in
an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now.

 

[erparamedic]

I got that one in an email a long time ago... and it's still just as funny today as it was then!

I have 2 dogs and 3 cats... and the cats can definitely be opinionated and moody... and cuddle only if *they* wish to! LOL! And the dogs are ever loyal and cuddle no matter what! Hah!

Thanks for sharing! Very cute!

 

[WVDiver]

From someone with 4 cats and a dog I can validate these reports. Dog thinks we are gods............cats think they are gods and we are servants.

 

[justleesa]

where did you find Pat's (our cat) diary?

 

[tstormdiver]

I would like to agree with the cat part, but when I had a cat my dog would pick it up by the nape of the neck & drag it around the house like a rag doll. Then.... proceeded to torment the poor feline by pinning it down with a fore paw & nipping at it. I kept waiting for the day the cat would haul up & smack the heck out of the dog (the cat was not declawed):shakehead , but it never happened. I guess the cat must not have minded it too much or else he was just trying to be a gentleman. If the dog ever ran into a mean cat, she'd be in a world of hurt. Still the dog part reminds me of my pooch (a very hyper- active Labrador Retriever).

 

[tstormdiver]

Here's more on the subject I found. The Lab part says it all about my dog. Enjoy! :

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
4. Rottweiler: Make me.
5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!
10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
11. Chihuahua : Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking light bulb."
12. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
13. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...
14. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?

Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is:
"How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"
ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF!