Yes, condensation will occur on the inside of the bilam material. This can cause the outside of the undergarment to become slightly damp. The inside of the undergarment will certainly become damp if you were sweating.
You may have experienced a minor leak through the wrist seals. If you have prominent wrist tendons, trimmed the seals too much, or the untrimmed seals are too large (yes, seals come in different sizes), this will be a common occurrence. If you determine that you are leaking through one or both wrist seals, a solution is to move to a dryglove system. Hopefully, you took advantage of the $99 "upgrade" to the replaceable seal system (Seal-Lock Technology; SLT) that Whites is now offering with its Fusion suits. I believe that there are drygloves on the market that lock onto the suitside rings of the SLT system. Contact Whites customer service in case you're interested in this.
Yes, the L/XL Fusion size is the appropriate size for you. Based on your height and weight, you probably wouldn't fit very well into the S/M size.
Shorts and a T-shirt are not enough of an "undergarment" for water in the mid-to-high 40s °F. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
On a hot day, it's critical to minimize time spent at the surface or on land in a zipped up drysuit. It's both a comfort and safety issue. Get all of your gear set up and pre-dive checks done prior to donning the drysuit. Coordinate zipping up your drysuit with everyone else on your dive team. It can be very helpful to set everything up in the shade (natural or a tent-like sunshade) so that you can stay out of the hot sun while gearing up.
During the surface swim on shore dives, I prefer to kick out on my back. I generally keep my mask around my neck until we hit the drop-in site. If I put the mask on during the surface swim, the inside of the mask gets all steamy. I find it annoying. YMMV.