Fifteen Actual Announcements Taken From Church Bulletins

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CathyI8205

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1. Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.

2. Thursday night - potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

4. For those of you who have children and don't know it, there is a
nursery downstairs.

5. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of
David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

6. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of
the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

7. There will be an ice cream social on Tuesday at 4 p.m. All ladies
giving milk will please come early.

8. Wednesday the ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing
"Put Me In My Little Bed," accompanied by the pastor.

9. There will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club on Thursday at 5
p.m. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his
study.

10. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and
lay an egg on the altar.

11. The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the
ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

12. Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost
of new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come
forward and do so.

13. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and
they maybe seen in the church basement on Friday.

14. A bean supper will be held on Thursday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow.

15. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is
Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
 
funny!
 
lol. If church had been that funny when I was forced to go as a kid, I might still go.
 
I've worked at a church. Yes, I've made my share of typos. People loved to tell me how many mistakes I've made.
 
15. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is
Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Ok I lost it with this one. Now I have people staring at me strangely at work.

Paul
 
mwpowell:
lol. If church had been that funny when I was forced to go as a kid, I might still go.
Amen Brother :wink:
 
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