Diving when your SO won’t

[ccrprospect]

I am a pretty keen diver, who often goes on dive vacations. Recently I started dating someone who wouldn’t come near anything dive related with a ten foot pole (not even snorkel!) due to fears, etc. Otherwise, the relationship seems to be going fine.

Have any of you had similar experiences? How do/did you deal with it?

 

[TuckerIdaho]

Yes, its fine, we have our own hobbies other than a few shared. This seems to come up in every activity but here's reality. You don't have to do everything together. You can have your own thing. Its cool.

 

[chillyinCanada]

I am a pretty keen diver, who often goes on dive vacations. Recently I started dating someone who wouldn’t come near anything dive related with a ten foot pole (not even snorkel!) due to fears, etc. Otherwise, the relationship seems to be going fine.

Have any of you had similar experiences? How do/did you deal with it?

Went without him.

My dive buddy leaves her spouse at home too.

In any event, don't let that concern enter into things at all at this stage of the game.

Have you reached 3 months yet?

 

[Edward3c]

I am a pretty keen diver, who often goes on dive vacations. Recently I started dating someone who wouldn’t come near anything dive related with a ten foot pole (not even snorkel!) due to fears, etc. Otherwise, the relationship seems to be going fine.

Have any of you had similar experiences? How do/did you deal with it?

I’ve been on over a dozen dive holidays (Thailand, Mexico, Florida, Bali and the Philippines) without my non-diving wife. Her hobby is shopping and can, does, significant damage to my CC - so it balances out.

 

[Storker]

My SO doesn't dive and probably never will.

When we go on vacation abroad, we find a compromise: She spends time tanning (which I thoroughly don't enjoy) and/or bathing at the beach or on the boat, while I dive. And we also do stuff together, so it's more a "vacation with some diving" than a "diving vacation".

Locally, we go out in the boat together. Sometimes she tends the boat while I dive, othertimes we just go boating and/or fishing.

I also dive with my local club and go on day trips or weekend trips with them. She stays home and does her things (whatever that is).

The only thing which is off the table is liveaboards. They're expensive, she doesn't belong there, and we don't have enough disposable income for three vacations (one for us, one for me and one for her) every year.

People in a relationship don't have to share all interests. They often don't. What's important is to find a compromise which works for all parties, respecting each other and each other's interests.

 

[Ana]

From the people I've known, diver / non-diver couples work out great or end up separating due to diving.
Granted my sample size is not huge, but seems to be on the extremes.
My husband and I both dive but we also do a few things separately.
Sharing a life with another human can be tricky, but when it works it's very rewarding for sure.

 

[Grogus]

Our kids and myself love to dive, my wife tried it and decided it wasn't for her. We take trips that can accommodate her sitting by the pool reading while we get wet. This summer we are going to the Red Sea on a live aboard, and she is actually excited to go be a "boat mom" (she is amazing at this!). After the week on the live aboard we will be spending a week touring around Egypt, because that's something that she really wants to do.

When we dive local she usually stays home and redecorates, because I can't complain about anything.

We don't do everything together, but we do spend a lot of effort making sure we take time to get interested and accommodate each others interest. She compromises for us on trips and we do the same either before or after.

 

[Resqdivemedic]

My wife tried breathing from my octopus in our pool and did not like it. So no dive buddy but still a great relationship just hitting the 27 year mark. We traveled a lot before kids and she had no problem when I went diving and she stayed back. When my son was old enough he got certified and we dive together occasionally. My daughter wants to get certified now so another buddy in the family.

 

[tarponchik]

In the long run, common interests is the only thing that holds people together.

 

[JackOfDiamonds]

I'm sorry if I sound harsh on this one but if diving is the only thing that might hold your relationship together than its probably not the best relationship to begin with.

It's ok to have personal hobbies, its even recommended.