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Dating/Breakup With a Non-Diver.

Discussion in 'Non-Diving Related Stuff' started by MavinMarv, Dec 2, 2019.

  1. Scuba Lawyer

    Scuba Lawyer Barracuda

    # of Dives: 5,000 - ∞
    Location: Laguna Beach, California
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    @KWS

    My wife never saw me in the Gladiator role, more as the hunter-gatherer returning from Neptune's lair bearing lobster, abalone, scallops, Halibut, etc... all of which she didn't have to go to the store to spend money on. :)
     
  2. Dish

    Dish Are you for Scuba? ScubaBoard Supporter

    # of Dives: 500 - 999
    Location: High Plains of Colorado
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    @drrich2 , only quoting your post because this point was relevant to my view on things.

    If this happened to Mrs Dish, I would never dive again. It has nothing to do with my “lust” for diving... if I couldn’t share the experience with her, why bother? She’s way more important than any hobby that I enjoy.

    To the OP, if diving is of more value than a relationship, perhaps you should refrain from relationships in the near term.

    Apologies is this is harsh, but realize your priorities have a cost.
     
    eleniel, <*)))><, KathyV and 3 others like this.
  3. divin'dog

    divin'dog Divemaster

    # of Dives: 200 - 499
    Location: New England
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    If you're looking for a dive buddy, find a dive buddy. If you're looking for a wife/girlfriend, well, that's a whole different thing. Seems like you're looking for a dive buddy. Don't confuse the two, losing a good girlfriend in the process. Dive buddies and soulmates can be one and the same but don't have to be. I've been on a lot of dive trips around the world and my roomies have been male and female. Wife always says "Go have fun!" which is a good healthy relationship. Stop planning your future too much. Remember that "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." ~ Lennon
     
    Dark Wolf, eleniel, KWS and 5 others like this.
  4. uncfnp

    uncfnp Solo Diver

    # of Dives: 500 - 999
    Location: North Carolina
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    I think the issue some of us have is that you are trying to decide whether to end an established relationship based on a single activity or so it seems. Sure, we all have ideas of the perfect partner or things we look for or specifically don’t want when dating. My absolutes were no drugs, tolerates dogs and a nonsmoker.

    But to consider ending a relationship just because she doesn’t dive, I’d say the relationship is missing more than just diving.
     
    eleniel, KathyV, Steve_C and 4 others like this.
  5. flyboy08

    flyboy08 ScubaBoard Supporter ScubaBoard Supporter

    # of Dives: 500 - 999
    Location: NYC
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    How many a man gave up riding motorcycles when first married? I didn’t, heck it wasn’t my most dangerous hobby anyways. :)

    That said, there has never been a more unified family feeling than when the wife, daughter and I splash together.
     
    greeniguana likes this.
  6. KWS

    KWS ScubaBoard Supporter ScubaBoard Supporter

    # of Dives: 500 - 999
    Location: SE TEXAS
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    Been there done that. I was gong to add that to my post but I did not.
     
  7. ScubaWithTurk

    ScubaWithTurk Bubble Blowing Buddha

    # of Dives: 200 - 499
    Location: Al Ain, Abu Dhabi, UAE
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    As a single man I think about the idea of a non-diver vs. diver for a GF (not gradient factor LOL) and I have mixed feelings. I would love to have a partner who could go diving with me if she likes the types of diving that I enjoy. If she didn't, then what would we do?

    So maybe a non-diver would be better but then how upset would she get if I wanted to do two weeks someplace with no topside entertainment?

    Does she want to tech dive, dive Sidemount, maybe CCR? Do I even want a SO who does these things? Lots of questions to ask and I have yet to find a good answer but I have also been single for 10 years so maybe don't listen to me.
     
    Dark Wolf likes this.
  8. wetb4igetinthewater

    wetb4igetinthewater Instructor, Scuba

    # of Dives: 500 - 999
    Location: Seattle
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    I don't know. The love of my life isn't a diver. We just welcomed a beautiful daughter into the world in October. My wife wants to dive, but it isn't in the cards right now. If it never happens, I'm fine with that. She supports my dream of opening up a dive shop. Would I dive more if she was a diver? Obviously yes. But the love and support I receive from her is more than I ever dreamed. She's an angel that walks the earth. If we never dive together, so be it. There is so much we already enjoy together: skiing, swimming, travel, hiking, camping. She's my best friend and everything I want in a woman. While diving is my absolute favorite recreational activity, it isn't the only thing. With a few big names having to give up diving due to DCS, I realize that my golden years may require limiting diving at some point.

    The OP and I just have different priorities. He isn't wrong, but as someone else said earlier, maybe he should avoid relationships.
     
    Dark Wolf, eleniel, Bob DBF and 4 others like this.
  9. chillyinCanada

    chillyinCanada Solo Diver Staff Member

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    Some of you are really being hard on @MavinMarv.

    Marv, it's been 3 years. Is she trying to get you to put a ring on it?
     
  10. Zef

    Zef Divemaster

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