Crowley's Blog

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Crowley

Master Instructor
Scuba Instructor
Messages
1,832
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452
Location
Planet Crowley
# of dives
I'm a Fish!
So - I've been meaning/threatening to do this for a while, but wasn't sure how it would be received. After posting a great deal after the shark attacks in December last year and the recent political revolution in Egypt, I've received a lot of feedback from my posts and the way that I write them and some people have actually requested that I write a 'blog of some sort. The new Scubaboard has a 'blog function so I thought I would make use of it. I will post most of the Red Sea relevant stuff in here and then add to it as I go along. I've never really done this before so we shall see how it works out.

A little bit about me: I'm British (well, I used to be! :D ), The wrong side of 35 years old (going on 25), and a PADI Master Instructor currently working mostly as a dive guide for a busy dive centre in Sharm-El-Sheikh, Egypt. I've been full time in the industry for nearly 6 years and arrived here in Sharm in May 2009, the place where I originally did my Open Water Course almost 11 years ago. The rest I am sure will become apparent if people actually read this thing!

I also love to write - since the age of thirteen when I penned my first teenage love poem (it was heartfelt, but rubbish!), I have enjoyed putting pen to paper, or fingers to keyboards in the modern age, to express myself. I'm the metaphorical "angry letter writer"; it doesn't actually need to be read, it just needs to be written, and that has always been a cathartic process for me.

There is also an ulterior motive behing this 'blog (I will drop the apostrophe from now on) which is the fact that I want to explore the possibilities of writing professionally, and I would like to combine this with the most singular passion I have ever had in my life, which is for diving. I can't be a working dive guide and instructor forever because living the life of a transient dive guide is physically, emotionally and mentally demanding; but I've started writing for the Equalizer online dive magazine (thank you so much, Samaka); click my signature to be directed there, and if you have a copy of the April 2011 British DIVE magazine you'll find the back page article on a strange narcosis incident published under my real name - I asked them to put Crowley (and a link to the Equalizer) also but they forgot somewhere. My first professional commission! Woo!

By the way - if you know my real name (it's not terrible, I just hate it), please never use it! :D

One thing I would like to make clear from the beginning, given the litigious nature of posting anything on the Internet these days, is that the views I express in my posts and blog are entirely my own and in no way, shape or form express the views
or philosophies of my dive centre, the owners, the managers, or my colleagues, or anybody else apart from me, myself, I, and my 17 imaginary friends, unless I expressly state otherwise. Both past and present.

Anyway, please feel free to read (or not), post (or not), comment (or not) and discuss (or not) and if you don't like what I have to say, or think I'm full of crap, don't read it! :D

Cheers

Crowley.
 
Hey Crowley

After diving with you in the Red Sea last December, you encouraged me to start posting on Scubaboard. So here I am :)

Count me in as one of your readers of your (hopefully regular) blog posts!

PS> My air consumption doesn't suck quite as much as it did six months ago :wink: And the strong currents in the Maldives last month got me a bit more comfortable with those conditions. I have to go back and try the Thistlegorm again!
 
Good luck with the blog mate. I'll look forward to reading it. I just started a scuba blog as well. I had run one before to cover my time in Afghanistan.
 
Good luck ... I'm exactly the same and my ideal lifestyle is diving and writing...keep doing both and one day we'll both get there!!!
Cheers
Jane
 
Hey - thanks everybody for the encouraging responses :D Hopefully I will be able to make it worth reading

Cheers

C.
 
Okay, so today I was doing the check dives for the centre. Not everybody likes these, of course, but almost every diver at my centre must go through it and it has to be said that most, actually, don't mind. The more experienced, repeat customers with hundreds of dives actually ask for it. They don't have to do the full check dive with such fun skills as "Mask Removal and Replacement Without Rocketing to the Surface Like You Need to Get to The Moon in a Hurry", but they like to make a good weight check, do an easy local dive and then get ready for what are potentially more challenging dives in Ras Mohamed or Tiran.

There is however, a certain segment of the dive community that does not believe that any of this applies to them for some reason. I call these the IOWs: Immortal Open Water Divers, and they often approach the counter staff with arguments such as: "I have almost 50 dives, I'm a green belt kung-fu diving panda and I don't need a check dive because I haven't actually died yet, so put me on a boat for the Thistlegorm right this minute, or I will take my business elsewhere". Well, something like that, anyway.

What I would like to say in return - or something like this, is: "Oh really? Well, I'm a 5th level black belt master instructor; if you multiply your number of dives by 50 you still don't even come close to having even nearly as many as I do; I'm amazed that you managed to survive the previous 49 of your 50 dives, and if you'd like to take your business elsewhere that would be really cool because we'd probably make more money without you here."

What I actually say is: "yes of course, however we conduct this process for the safety and enjoyment of all parties concerned - you, the dive group and - ahaha - me, your dive guide" all with a friendly professional smile whilst occasionally suppressing the urge to poke these people in the buttocks with a sharp stick.

So today I have a typical "experienced diver" who was going to look after his not-so-experienced buddy and therefore they don't need to do a check dive. Okay, fine, sometimes that works.

However, towards the end of the dive, I notice that the inexperienced lady diver is having a small buoyancy issue - the classic inability to deflate the BCD because the hose is pointed 180 degrees in opposition to the flow of air and what I really wanted to say to her more experienced buddy, who was "looking after her", was "shouldn't you be looking after your buddy who is currently making more bubbles than a bottle of coke stuffed full of mentos and heading to the surface so quickly she will surface like an incontinent penguin trying to get back on to the iceberg, instead of staring at the sand waving your fins around?"

Sadly, I was unable to invent an underwater signal for all of the above, and so back at the dive centre, what I actually said was: "No, you can't dive in Ras Mohamed tomorrow."

Cheers,

C.

PS for more fun info about the way the check dive process works at some of the big centres in Egypt, have a look through the May edition of The Equalizer Magazine :D
 
I think check dives is fine if it's a shallow dive on a nice reef or interesting location where the dive shop gets the possibility to asses your buoyancy skills, SAC etc. to give me as a customer a better service and experience. I wouldn't mind demonstrating skills either, as you can really never practice your skills too often.

But if someone compelled me to pay premium for diving 20 minutes at a sandby bottom with nothing to look, I'd probably take my business elsewhere given a choice...
 

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