Bad dive buddy rant

[Bratface]

I just need to rant and get this off my chest. I was on the boat with local divers who are also my regular buddies for a two tank dive to dives sites where we don't often get to go. We were going to catch lobsters and kill lionfish. We had two buddy teams and this young woman who doesn't dive with us attached herself to our group. We are all experienced divers. She is a dive instructor but I do not know where. There were two other buddy teams of 4 divers in each team.

We were given the dive brief and I sketched the dive site on my slate. On the first dive she just took off. Viz was low. We could still see her bubbles and we all got back on the boat at the same time. Next dive, she bolted off again. I noticed that my dive buddy was not behind me. I stopped the group and signaled my buddy was missing. She didn't want to be bothered. I surfaced and yelled to the captain that my buddy was not with us. He said buddy was ok, that he dropped his weight pouch and since our bubbles were farther and another buddy team was just going down he sent him with them. I descended, let the other 2 know and we continued our dive.

Once again I had sketched the dive site on my slate. Speedy diver was off in the distance and was going the wrong way. She eventually came over to us and we redirected our dive. When we turned the dive around she was still going wherever she wanted with no regard for the other divers. We wasted a lot of time because of her ignoring the dive plan. I was past being disgusted with her and signaled that I was aborting the dive and going up. Back on the boat I told the captain that some divers have no concept of "dive buddy". He knew immediately who I was speaking of.

Once everyone was back on the boat she loudly told my buddy she had found his weight pocket and he owed her a beer. We all gathered for a post-dive lunch at a nearby restaurant. She joined us, and although I am not a rude person, I got up and excused myself. I wasn't in the mood for her, and I won't be diving with her again.

So if you've got a dive buddy and you've got a dive plan, stick with your dive buddy and the plan.

 

[RJP]

What was the discussion that you had with this buddy prior to the first dive?

Was she part of the development of "the plan" or did you tell her what your plan was?

Was there agreement by the buddy that she was going to follow the plan?

What was the nature and content of your discussion with this buddy after the first dive?

What did you discuss/agree with your buddy before the second dive?

What was the nature and content of your discussion with this buddy after the second dive?

You "excused yourself" when she joined everyone after the day of diving?

Did you actually speak with her at all during the whole day?

 

[NightForce]

I do not understand why what she was doing affected you so deeply. She was not your direct buddy that you were relying on if you had an emergency. Let her be and enjoy yourself dont let her ruin your good time.

I know you want to blow off steam and I support that notion. Since I really was not there to experience the entire dynamics of the situation as you were, all I have to go on is your post. From what I can only read, it seems like you just needed to relax some more. I mean no disrespect I'm only going on what I am reading.

 

[Bratface]

The point is, I don't mind that she joined us. What's bothersome is she disappeared and she's also a loud and somewhat obnoxious person. Not exactly conducive to a relaxing Sunday dive.

Hey, it's a rant just like it says. I'm not looking for solutions or opinions.

 

[pocky21]

Sounds like she was too busy having fun to be bothered by you

 

[Bratface]

Hey you could be right but like I said, it was a rant and I know more about this situation than should be posted on a public forum. Enough said.

 

[scubadada]

I see it as her responsibility to stay reasonably close to your group. I would have discussed this with her in advance. If she wanted to dive solo, so be it.

 

[divad]

I know more about this situation than should be posted on a public forum. Enough said.

At what point did you decide "enough said" and then decide to say something?

 

[RJP]

I'm just unclear as to what her and your expectations were. They were obviously different. As near as I can tell, neither of you spoke a word to each other. All you've really shared is that you drew some site maps on your slate... and got ticked that she blew you off. You claim there was a plan. And I'm sure that was the case. It's just unclear whether there was a meeting of the mind about FOLLOWING that plan.

If I had been in your position, I would have discussed the buddy situation after the first dive. I would have asked what went wrong, etc. If she was apologetic and/or there was just some misunderstanding, we would then agree on an approach and plan for the second dive. If she was not apologetic or just wasn't clearly in the mood to be a good buddy... I would have told he she was on her own for the second dive and would have done a triple with my other buddies. She would have known by then how I felt about the situation.

I have a suspicion there was little or no communication between the two of you. Per your follow-up post above, there is more invovled that you do not want to share. That's cool. But the result is that people reading this thread only know what's in your first post... where there's no indication that you spoke a single word to her. I asked what you and she discussed at each point where it would have made perfect sense to raise any issues. The fact that you still haven't said you discussed anything with her, before the first dive, after the first dive, before the second dive, after the second dive.... I can only conclude that you didn't.

I work on a dive boat. I see this dynamic all the time. Two strangers become instabuddies on the boat... but they never really discuss anything. The result is almost always that one or both of them are dissatisfied with the others buddy skills.

---------- Post added January 5th, 2014 at 07:48 PM ----------

Hey, it's a rant just like it says. I'm not looking for solutions or opinions.

Posting it on a public forum with a "REPLY" button under it was probably not a great idea, then.

:d

 

[debohra]

If she was an instructor then she should know to stay close to the group and not create a possible lost diver scenario and should not have been going off on her own at all but sticking with her buddy. Fundamentals and good dive practices


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