Embarrassing and/or clever diving stories.

[mobster75]

I have to tell someone else's story here... A couple guys I know were working on their divemaster mapping project and took one of the guy's boat out to the site they had selected. The went to set up their gear and one guy had left his entire gear bag in the trunk of his car!

How you forget everything, I have no idea.

Rachel

Seems pretty hard, but it does happen oddly enough.......

Last summer at a local dive spot, this guy and his friend (who had never dove with the regulars from the shop most of us were meeting up with) show up for a shore dive but one guy (the one who drove) forgot all his rental gear AT HOME... He realizes this after driving an hour to the site! So he decides he's not sticking around and bails on his friend, telling him to find someone else to drive him back. (wtf?)

I offered to drive him back home as he wasn't too much out of the way for me, then the real fun began - in the water!

This chap looked like he hadn't even finished confined pool yet and was bicycle kicking a storm, had 0 control on his buoyancy, chugged through his air in record time and generally drove the entire group nuts as he was definitely a danger to himself.. We were all wondering how the heck he was ever certified, PERIOD.

That was a weird drive home..... I had no clue what to say to him....

 

[coachpill]

I can't tell you how many times I have completely geared up without first UNBUNGYING the tank from the boat! Makes for some pissed off dive buddies (sorry, honey)!

 

[dumpsterDiver]

I was working as a divemaster on a boat with about 15 customers. Everyone was ready, with all their gear on but still sitting in very close quarters on the benches that lined the gunnels as we waited to approach the drop site for a drfit dive.

I am not one who often does a very good pre-dive check, but for some reason I felt that I should set a good example this particular day and test my regulator before hitting the water. While sitting there, I take a big hit from my primary and something BIG pops right into my mouth. Without even thinking about it and in instictive manner, I immediately spit the object out onto the deck in a somewhat dramatic fashion.

It was a large black palmetto bug (florida cockroach). When it hit the deck it quickly scurried under the opposing dive bench, completely unharmed.

I'm not sure if I was more disgusted or embarassed.

 

[Gombessa]

I can't tell you how many times I have completely geared up without first UNBUNGYING the tank from the boat! Makes for some pissed off dive buddies (sorry, honey)!

I've done that before. It sucks once you get the regulator on, pretty much have to undo everything at that point

 

[coachpill]

I know of a couple of mid-life crisis type spearfishermen...spearing way out offshore when the call of nature struck one of them (number two call of nature!). They were about 700 metres offshore and he figured that by the time he swam in, it would be too late! So, with limited options and accumulating pressure, he warned his buddy to stay well clear...carefully unzipped his wetsuit jacket...rolled down the inner long-john and, as he put it...he 'launched a blind mullet' into the sea. Satisfied with a job well done, he re-zipped his jacket, speared another few hapless fish and eventually returned to shore, none the worse for the ordeal.

Immediately they attracted the attention of a couple of young blonde ladies who admired their strings of fish. Feeling pretty pleased with himself and that all was good with the world, he started to peel his wetsuit off - immediately the girls ran off in horror holding their noses....
THE BLIND MULLET HAD NOT GOT AWAY!Rather it was liberally smeared over the inside of his wetsuit! Now that's embarassing!

Nice!!!!

 

[coachpill]

Once we were doing a boat dive off Pompano. The girl in front of me was getting ready to do her giant stride off the boat. She grabbed her gages with one hand, reached up to secure her reg and mask with the other. She realized that she did not have her mask on when she poked herself square in the eyes!!! I tried not to laugh, but failed miserably.

Oh my gosh, that's so funny!!!I had completely forgotten about that until just now!!!

 

[mobster75]

My own embarassing story happened last summer at a dive that I had been waiting for for some time because it was a new spot for me and was to be the first day of a lobster catching tournament of sorts.

I was pumped on the hour-long drive to the site and couldn't wait to gear up and jump in and start chasing the critters.

Image my shock and horror when I realized that I did NOT have my wetsuit anywhere in my car! I had gloves, boots, hooded vest....but no wetsuit... I was crushed expecting to have to drive home and waste a day...

Luckily one of the DM's who was organizing the day wasn't diving and he let me borrow his wetsuit and was a REAL life saver!

I had been diving the day before as well and normally I rinse my gear out and dry it at the dive shop afterwards.. Turns out I left my wetsuit hanging there with their rentals and never took it home....

Ended up catching 4 lobsters that day - so it ended up quite nicely!

 

[pacchill]

I have left my STA home twice... in the same week... last week. Only missed one dive though. That's one of the pains of having only one backplate and switching from doubles to single.

Better than that! When I lived in Cuba (GTMO) my ol'man took me on this SUPER AWESOME lobster hunt one night at a super secret spot! I was so stoked to be getting my pick of fresh bugs. We gear up, and hike down this rocky, coral laden 45 degree slope with this horrible stench in the air...hummm what could that be? After the painful "rappel" to the water we found the perfect way to get in the water. "Follow me boy, just watch out, THIS PIPE IS SLIPPERY!" Yeah not only was the pipe slippery... It had freak'n POO coming out of it, POO! A tip to medical ensued, and no bugs... LOL Man I miss diving GTMO. ( still can't believe my own Dad took me to a poop pipe to look for bugs.)

 

[fisheater]

I was working as a divemaster on a boat with about 15 customers. Everyone was ready, with all their gear on but still sitting in very close quarters on the benches that lined the gunnels as we waited to approach the drop site for a drfit dive.

I am not one who often does a very good pre-dive check, but for some reason I felt that I should set a good example this particular day and test my regulator before hitting the water. While sitting there, I take a big hit from my primary and something BIG pops right into my mouth. Without even thinking about it and in instictive manner, I immediately spit the object out onto the deck in a somewhat dramatic fashion.

It was a large black palmetto bug (florida cockroach). When it hit the deck it quickly scurried under the opposing dive bench, completely unharmed.

I'm not sure if I was more disgusted or embarassed.

Now I understand why SeaCure provides the yellow plug thingie with their mouthpieces.

 

[mafi]

I am peacefully hovering at 10m/30ft of water above local "wreck" on solo dive. ****** vis - about 3m/9ft at best.

Then, out of nowhere, local firefighter practicing (I am guessing) underwater search towed by a device as shown in the picture hits me from the back & spins me around, almost pulling reg out of my mouth.

I only barely saw what happened - I did not see him for more than 1 sec before he disappeared in the green water again. ****** did clean-cut hit & run! :-D

Had not talked to him on the shore later, I would have thought I was narced AF at 10m :lol: